Up Front by Emma Hart

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Up Front: Safety Net

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  • Sacha, in reply to Russell Brown,

    the people who say this are perfectly clever. They're just over-thinking it

    and over-estimating how 'clever' the rest of us actually are :)

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 16627 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart, in reply to Sacha,

    and over-estimating how 'clever' the rest of us actually are :)

    Pah, they should come drinking with us. Then we're all Brilliant!

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4364 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha, in reply to Emma Hart,

    the great leveller - upwards

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 16627 posts Report Reply

  • Roger, in reply to Emma Hart,

    Shouldn't doctors just do doctoring and shut the fuck up with judgey bullshit?

    A colleague a few (not too many) years back went to a GP in a NZ provincial town for a medical. In the course of this he admitted recreational drug use. The GP 'failed' him the medical and then rang both his employer and the local Police Senior Sergeant, both of whom went to the GPs church.

    Auckland • Since Jun 2007 • 175 posts Report Reply

  • Rob Stowell, in reply to Roger,

    The GP ‘failed’ him the medical and then rang both his employer and the local Police Senior Sergeant

    Is this legal? Or against the oath, or something? 'Cos it's a terrible story.

    Whakaraupo • Since Nov 2006 • 1557 posts Report Reply

  • BenWilson, in reply to Rob Stowell,

    Yeah, I'd be wanting utu after that. Which wouldn't be hard - you'd only have to let people know what had happened and the GP could lose half his business.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 8500 posts Report Reply

  • Tom Beard, in reply to Rob Stowell,

    Is this legal? Or against the oath, or something?

    IANAL and IANAME (I am not a medical ethicist - doubt that'll catch on), but I'd say that if not against the law, it's certainly a massively strikeoffable offence.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1039 posts Report Reply

  • Roger,

    No it is certainly not legal, but unfortunately the guy (who came from the town) did not want to rock the boat

    Auckland • Since Jun 2007 • 175 posts Report Reply

  • Morgan Nichol, in reply to Rob Stowell,

    I'm not any kind of lawyer, but I say yes. Privacy Act and Health Information Privacy Code, at the least. So Privacy Commissioner and Health & Disability Commissioner would both likely take a very dim view of such outrageous carrying on.

    I guess being forced into having a GP that goes to church is one of the things that living in a small town forces upon you. But I'm much more happy having a GP who is into science, not faith.

    I don't want my doctor to asses my morals, I want my doctor to tell me what the fuck this lump is, or why it hurts so much when I do this.

    Let's say for instance that I've masturbated my long suffering penis into a red raw and very sore state, I don't expect to be told I'm a bad person for thinking all those dirty thoughts and abusing my body, and I certainly don't expect people I know to be told that I'm a bad person, what I expect is a prescription for some soothing medicated lubricating lotion.

    You know just hypothetically.

    Auckland CBD • Since Nov 2006 • 297 posts Report Reply

  • Morgan Nichol, in reply to Roger,

    It's tough, because whatever hand slapping might happen would be well after the damage was done.

    Auckland CBD • Since Nov 2006 • 297 posts Report Reply

  • Hilary Stace,

    Women have always done this negotiating with GPs. Just talk to anyone who has ever sought information about a termination (or even contraception) from a GP who disapproves.

    Wgtn • Since Jun 2008 • 2077 posts Report Reply

  • Craig Ranapia, in reply to Russell Brown,

    People tell me they're anxious about looking stupid, or at least insufficiently clever.

    Which I don't understand, because everyone except the most wretched excrement-craniums is more than sufficiently clever about a whole bunch of somethings I'm blissfully ignorant about. Yes, PAS can get a wee bit angst-ridden on occasion, but more often it's a neverending zombie buffet of tasty brains.

    North Shore, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 11933 posts Report Reply

  • Morgan Nichol, in reply to Hilary Stace,

    As a simple fat white boy it’s really easy to be unaware of these issues.

    For instance the problem Emma related with doctors assuming any bruises on a woman are evidence of abuse, it’s incredibly obvious in hindsight, but didn’t occur to me until she said it.

    But then hearing about things like Texas’ (new or perhaps just proposed?) mandatory transvaginal ultrasound for every woman who wants a termination. It seems like rape to me. Very clinical, very expensive, very well lit, but still forcing something into a woman’s vagina. It’s so obviously designed to feel like that to women as well “oh you want to do this thing we don’t want you to do? then we’re going to do the most discouraging thing we can possibly imagine”.

    It’s just so completely bizarre and obvious.

    I’ve never had to negotiate shit, it only seems fair that everyone should get the same privilege.

    Auckland CBD • Since Nov 2006 • 297 posts Report Reply

  • Bart Janssen, in reply to Emma Hart,

    My GP may come to the conclusion that I’m being physically abused

    And that is the problem of course. How can a GP be certain that Emma is not being abused and so cowed by her abuser that she makes up a story about being a sub.

    Realistically given the number of women being abused in this country that isn't an absurd conclusion to come to. ANd having come to that conclusion the GP MUST do something to protect the victim.

    To find a GP able to accept and understand Emma and to be confident enough in Emma to actually believe that all the bruises are desired ... I can understand how difficult that would be.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 3349 posts Report Reply

  • Tom Beard, in reply to Bart Janssen,

    How can a GP be certain that Emma is not being abused and so cowed by her abuser that she makes up a story about being a sub.

    And there are those who believe that subs don't exist, and that no-one could consent to being hurt. Bruises from other recreational activities (i.e. sport) are seen as somewhere between a necessary evil and a badge of honour, but as soon as you mix up sex and recreation ... ew.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1039 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart, in reply to Morgan Nichol,

    For instance the problem Emma related with doctors assuming any bruises on a woman are evidence of abuse, it’s incredibly obvious in hindsight, but didn’t occur to me until she said it.

    Bless you Morgan, you've pretty much summed up why I do what I do.

    And there are those who believe that subs don't exist, and that no-one could consent to being hurt.

    Yeah, because for a start, what Bart says is true. But my particular GP has known me, and my family, for a long time and we have a pretty good relationship. So perhaps I could point out to her that the patterning of bruising has clearly been inflicted by a particular object, for instance, and none of it by a fist... but she'd still have to believe that I was capable of agreeing to that, without any degree of coercion. That I was in absolutely no danger with my Dom.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4364 posts Report Reply

  • BenWilson, in reply to Morgan Nichol,

    Let's say for instance that I've masturbated my long suffering penis into a red raw and very sore state

    It's traditional to come up with a humorous cover story. Vacuuming naked, kitten loose in the house somewhere, had to fix TV after getting out of shower, went for a bike ride in very uncomfortable clothes, took a poo in some nettles, etc.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 8500 posts Report Reply

  • nzlemming, in reply to Emma Hart,

    Bless you Morgan, you've pretty much summed up why I do what I do.

    Correct if I'm wrong, but I believe that might be the first time in forever that anyone has said "Bless you Morgan" when it wasn't about a sneeze ;-)

    Waikanae • Since Nov 2006 • 2080 posts Report Reply

  • nzlemming, in reply to BenWilson,

    I do treasure your experience in these matter, Ben.

    Waikanae • Since Nov 2006 • 2080 posts Report Reply

  • Martin Lindberg,

    Cis, mpreg, wincest, spec-fic and now sub.

    These are all words I have had to look up after reading one of your posts, Emma. Well, I didn’t need to look up sub, because I know what a sub-editor does but it hardly ever involves physical injury. So in this context it made little sense. I then realised that it was a different kind of sub.

    Not that I’m complaining, mind. I just seem to live a life where these concepts don’t form part of my day to day life.

    Stockholm • Since Jul 2009 • 796 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha, in reply to Martin Lindberg,

    a different kind of sub

    a yellow one

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 16627 posts Report Reply

  • Morgan Nichol, in reply to nzlemming,

    To be fair, usually when people bless me it is more along lines of "the power of christ compels you".

    Auckland CBD • Since Nov 2006 • 297 posts Report Reply

  • Islander, in reply to Bart Janssen,

    How can a GP be certain that Emma is not being abused and so cowed by her abuser that she makes up a story about being a sub.

    There is a GP in my family - extremely worldly,experienced(nearly 25 years hard yakka here & overseas) & highly esteemed by clients. If you present with wounds/other damage, the first question would be - what happened/how acquired? IF you said it was consensual , that GP would then ascertain how you presented, and -with consent - do a physical check. Not only looking at the physical damage but also listening/feeling/ascertaining for the why. NEVER judgmental.

    But not all GPs are either experienced enough/free of biases/*secure in their own sexuality* enough to be able to do this-

    Addendum - you want to be an asexual person with a urinary tract problem...
    ALL the diagnostic questions relate to your sexual life, and, when you politely
    explain that you dont have one, you are met with guffaws and total disbelief.
    Does wonders for your self-esteem.

    Big O, Mahitahi, Te Wahi … • Since Feb 2007 • 5643 posts Report Reply

  • Megan Wegan, in reply to Russell Brown,

    The exception? Sometimes, feminist blog discussions. That’s the only time where I can be interested in the discussion, feel I have something to contribute – and not do so.

    This makes me really sad. Because you _do_ have something to contribute. It's one of my immense frustrations with any number of feminists websites that shut out men completely. What the hell is the point of just talking to women? Do these feminists think we can actually achieve true equality without the involvement of men? Yes, it has to be managed, and the recent Hugo Schwyzer debacle demonstrates why. But we need allies.

    Having said that, the kind of sites where men can't speak are usually the same sites where I don't speak either.

    Welly • Since Jul 2008 • 1273 posts Report Reply

  • Ian Dalziel,

    I know people who would much rather be punched in
    the face than have an idea exposed as incorrect.

    Sounds like the entire National Government
    - Asset Sales
    - National Standards
    - Off Shore Drilling
    - Fracking
    - Chch Earthquake handling
    ....

    ...but as soon as you mix up sex and recreation … ew.

    Indeed, all you get are excretions...

    Christchurch • Since Dec 2006 • 4882 posts Report Reply

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