Cracker by Damian Christie

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Cracker: Is there a Sub in the City?

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  • Rich of Observationz,

    Personally, I think they should have got an aging male journalist to write the blog pseudonymously. Garth George perhaps?

    When the Indy started running "Bridget Jones Diary" it was anonymous rather than attributed to Helen Fielding and many people thought it was true not fiction.

    Back in Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 4463 posts Report Reply

  • John Fouhy,

    I've been shouted at a couple of times from cars while riding my bike. You get maybe two dopplering syllables as the car whizzes past, completely incomprehensible. Unless the truckie pulled over, or slower to walking pace, I can't believe he'd have time to blow his horn _and_ shout such a long sentence _and_ be comprehensible..

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 87 posts Report Reply

  • Joanna,

    I used to rebel against the incredibly stupid student president by not proofreading his columns, which were full of errors. Of course, it wasn't much of a rebellion though, because everyone that I was raging against was too stupid to realise that it was full of mistakes. But it made me feel good all the same.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 727 posts Report Reply

  • Grant McDougall,

    I suspect that this column / blog will go down like a cup o f cold sick with Herald readers. (Not that hot sick is any nicer, but anyway...).

    Hunkin's probably a nice enough individual and an ok journo. But the type of inane twaddle in such blogs comes into the "who the hell cares" category. I expect most Herald readers will give the column / blog a cursory glance for a few days - then the novelty of such irrelevant drivel will fade and they'll won't bother reading it at all.

    What's the bet Metro will take the piss out of it big-time as well?

    Dunedin • Since Dec 2006 • 614 posts Report Reply

  • Che Tibby,

    i'm breaking my self-imposed silence to say,

    been done

    the back of an envelope • Since Nov 2006 • 2026 posts Report Reply

  • dc_red,

    Che - Yes, that was my first reaction too. At least Sydney has that almost-metropolitan-enough-to-justify-this-type-of-writing feel.

    Oil Patch, Alberta • Since Nov 2006 • 706 posts Report Reply

  • 3410,

    I suspect that someone at the Herald just wanted a hot blonde face on the front page, and then decided some post hoc reason for it.

    It would also appear that [subs] are voicing their disquiet by failing to correct basic typos in 'Blonde at the Bar' copy.

    How can you tell? ;)

    If this quote from Joanna is even half accurate, she's in the wrong game: "__Nothing annoys me more than dickheads who feel it is their right to publicly pass judgement on me.__"

    Early days yet, but if the comments section becomes half as bad as "Your View", the poor woman will have a breakdown before long. This time I'm not being funny; I only hope she can come out the other end of this without a deep distaste for the whole industry. It's not just bars that are meat markets, you know.

    Auckland • Since Jan 2007 • 2618 posts Report Reply

  • DPF,

    The Dominon used to have such a column but weekly not daily. They used to joke the columnists were hired for their attractiveness and that after they kept exposing the paper to defamation, the column was finally dropped.

    I can't even recall what it was called anymore.

    Wellington, New Zealand • Since Nov 2006 • 74 posts Report Reply

  • Robyn Gallagher,

    I find it hard enough coming up with interesting, original stuff to write on my blog and I don't have the pressure of having to write something every day and being restricted to a narrow subject.

    Technically speaking, I'm a single gal living in the city with a groovy media job, but my life does not revolve around this.

    Sometimes I might have a day which is as close to a typical SatC day as is possible in Auckland, but most of the time if I have a tale of tell, it's going to be more like, "On the bus home tonight, there was a guy huffing paint down the back and I started to get high off the fumes."

    Hunkin's "Blonde at the Bar" column is nice enough, but I suspect that the majority of her life is not dedicated hanging out in bars, trawling for a bloke. I bet she has far more interesting tales to tell that don't involve the Auckland singles scene (or lack thereof).

    Raglan • Since Nov 2006 • 1863 posts Report Reply

  • Roho,

    Oh, god, Damian, thank you, thank you for posting on this - as, I think, the only woman in creation who never watched SATC and hated the very concept with a passion, when I saw the Blonde at the Bar banner up on the Herald site I wanted to cry and gnash my teeth...then I READ it...gawd.... I don't know what's worse, the original content or the reader feedback...

    Whakatane • Since May 2007 • 5 posts Report Reply

  • Nobody Important,

    well, if anyone wants the real thing

    or spending my spare time in seedy strip clubs.

    heh heh, cunning use of strikethru to imply you're a bit of a bad boy Damian! So do you actually fequent them regularly, or do you have no spare time?

    expat • Since Mar 2007 • 319 posts Report Reply

  • Damian Christie,

    Let's just say it was the one pasttime I couldn't claim not to have experienced. I wouldn't say I'm a regular (although don't ask China @ Mermaids, she'll say anything for $10)...

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1130 posts Report Reply

  • Robyn Gallagher,

    I don't know what's worse, the original content or the reader feedback.

    Most of the reader feedback seems to be coming from men.

    My favourite is from "Adam", who reckons the latest column, "highlights what is wrong with our society, too many lesbians."

    Too many lesbians?!

    See, Candace Bushnell and Helen Fielding had heaps of female fans who read their columns and thought, "OMG! She's writing about me!!!"

    Whereas "Blonde at the Bar" seems to be read by blokes who think "Phwoar! I'd like to teach her a thing or two."

    Raglan • Since Nov 2006 • 1863 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    My favourite is from "Adam", who reckons the latest column, "highlights what is wrong with our society, too many lesbians."

    I have to know where Adam is spending his nights out, because this has SO not been my experience.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4369 posts Report Reply

  • andrew llewellyn,

    I have to know where Adam is spending his nights out,

    My guess is wherever Adam goes, women tell him they're unavailable because they're lesbians.

    Since Nov 2006 • 2074 posts Report Reply

  • Kyle Matthews,

    Some males (and presumably some females) have unusual ideas about lesbians. One chap was talking to me the other day, before we participated in a sporting fixture, about how there were 'too many lesbian cock fags in New Zealand'.

    Apart from the fact that he was obviously a teeny bit homophobic, the phrase 'lesbian cock fag' didn't make any sense to me.

    Since Nov 2006 • 6205 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Brown,

    THIS JUST IN ...

    Seeing as we're on the Herald ...

    Premium Content is dead

    Yeah, I know it's only been there in name for months now, but presumably they've finally found a way to break it to Tony O'Reilly that the "experiment" is over.

    Emails are going out now to subscribers (all eight of them?) explaining that it's over, offering refunds, etc.

    There will be quite a few people at APN Digital/The Herald Online who are most relieved.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 18970 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    My guess is wherever Adam goes, women tell him they're unavailable because they're lesbians.

    Or, on mature reflection, women tell him they're unavailable because he's a dickhead, and he assumes they're lesbians.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4369 posts Report Reply

  • andrew llewellyn,

    "Or, on mature reflection, women tell him they're unavailable because he's a dickhead, and he assumes they're lesbians."

    Heh. That reminds me of an old (male) flatmate.

    Since Nov 2006 • 2074 posts Report Reply

  • Damian Christie,

    THIS JUST IN ...
    Seeing as we're on the Herald ...
    Premium Content is dead

    I don't think even the Herald would've tried to define Blonde in the Bar as "premium content".

    I'd still give anything to have the Herald's search functionality on certain other NZ media sites I daren't mention by name...

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1130 posts Report Reply

  • Don Christie,

    'd still give anything to have the Herald's search functionality on certain other NZ media sites I daren't mention by name...

    Damian, would that "anything" include, like, money?

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1616 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Brown,

    <i>I'd still give anything to have the Herald's search functionality on certain other NZ media sites I daren't mention by name...</i>

    Damian, would that "anything" include, like, money?

    Heh. It's surprising how hard site search is to do well. The Guardian sucked at it for ages (and for all I know, still does), I was unable to find a story with "Fijian" in the headline by searching for "Fijian" on the TV3 website last week, and the new Herald search is almost unusable at times with timeout errors - and I couldn't find anything pre-2005. Dammit, I even find our search a wee bit lacking.

    But before you get too smug, Don, don't forget the words that make search on certain other news sites rather less complicated: "This story is no longer available."

    ;-)

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 18970 posts Report Reply

  • Don Christie,

    Don't worry, no smugness on the search front from this quarter.

    I can, however, recommend various flavours of Lucene, an open source search engine, as a reasonable cure all for searching unstructured content.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1616 posts Report Reply

  • Lea Barker,

    Doesn't it defeat the whole purpose of this column to show who is writing it? The only people she's going to meet are people who want to be mentioned in it. Then again, maybe that IS the purpose of the column: a reality newspaper show where the contestants self-select knowing they'll get 15 syllables of fame.

    Oakland, CA • Since Nov 2006 • 45 posts Report Reply

  • David Ritchie,

    I can't even recall what it [The Dominion's similar column from the late '90s] was called anymore.

    Neither do I, although I remember it was written under a pseudonym which would have been all well and good had it not been for the same writer -- writing under her own name in another organ years later -- using the same blasted anecdotes.

    Wellingtron • Since Nov 2006 • 163 posts Report Reply

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