Yellow Peril by Tze Ming Mok

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Yellow Peril: My black heart bleeds

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  • B Jones,

    There's a list of things women aren't allowed to talk about, and I want to know what else is on it.

    Circumcision.

    Can't think of much else, though. Perhaps women could have interested-third-party rights on discussing vasectomies, especially if they've been on contraception for fifteen years and had three kids by the time the subject comes up.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 976 posts Report

  • Kyle Matthews,

    <quote>Problematic: I have the athletic ability of an amoeba<quote>

    I can confirm this. Danielle was the person who quite happily accepted detention for 'forgetting' her PE gear every single day in high school. Lesser of two evils I think was her theory.

    Since Nov 2006 • 6243 posts Report

  • Robyn Gallagher,

    Robyn should so totally be our number nine. He's the lippy one who's allowed to backchat the ref and slap the forwards on the bottom.

    I'm not sure about this bottom-slapping business. But I will be captain. Can I call myself cap'n and pretend to be a pirate? Cos that would be quite cool.

    Since Nov 2006 • 1946 posts Report

  • Emma Hart,

    Circumcision.

    Done that. Several times, which is odd when I come to think about it. My midwife says anyone who wants that done to their baby should have to hold the freaking scalpel themselves.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report

  • Emma Hart,

    I'm not sure about this bottom-slapping business. But I will be captain. Can I call myself cap'n and pretend to be a pirate? Cos that would be quite cool.

    Arr, course you can. My brother was in the Pirates Rugby Team, so it's obviously kosher. And it gives us an excuse to wear earrings on the field.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report

  • Deborah,

    Fourthed!

    Fantastic really. I suggest a rugby team, then go away to vacuum the house, make a batch of chocolate chip oatie biscuits, get some vanilla biscuit dough ready (school gala day coming up), and make the pastry for dinner, and come back to find a nearly full team, complete with excellent captain, and a name. The PAS Pirates it is, then.

    Now all we need is some cheerleaders... Any volunteers, chaps?

    New Lynn • Since Nov 2006 • 1447 posts Report

  • Charles Mabbett,

    Tom is being very quiet.

    But I guess when you're in a hole it's best to stop digging.

    Since Nov 2006 • 236 posts Report

  • andrew llewellyn,

    Any volunteers, chaps?

    The weather will have to improve heaps before I get my pom poms out.

    Since Nov 2006 • 2075 posts Report

  • Deborah,

    And I get to be Dan Carter. Can't kick, can't catch, can't pass, can't run, will NOT appear on billboards clad only in my underwear, but, hey, other than that, I think I fit the bill.

    Right. Off to get the kids from school now.

    New Lynn • Since Nov 2006 • 1447 posts Report

  • kmont,

    Earrings! Ace. Now we have options for some real violence on the field. Also for the record bottom-slapping is fine. All this talk of costuming is making me think of the Real Hot Bitches. I will be wearing a terry towelling style headband, lots of lipstick and lashings of mud of course....

    wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 485 posts Report

  • kmont,

    I think Tom went to the real rugby thread. Fair play mate.

    wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 485 posts Report

  • Danielle,

    I can confirm this. Danielle was the person who quite happily accepted detention for 'forgetting' her PE gear every single day in high school. Lesser of two evils I think was her theory.

    Heh. Hey, I didn't 'forget' my PE gear every day. Sometimes I lied about having period pain, too! Depending on the teacher. I liked to change it up a little. *Man*, I hated PE. I hated PE almost as much as I hated maths. How did I end up being a sports fan? And strategic advisor to the PAS Pirates? It's a funny old world...

    Charo World. Cuchi-cuchi!… • Since Nov 2006 • 3828 posts Report

  • Kumara Republic,

    I am reminded of a news story, possibly an urban legend, that I read a few years back about a high school in Melbourne where two-thirds of the students were of ethnic minority descent (in Aussie, that refers to mostly non-Polynesian ethnics). The story covered the school not having enough players to field a First XV rugby team for the first time in its history, and its relation to the school's ethnic makeup. The rest of the story is lost in the mists of time, and I have been unable to find a digital copy of it.

    The southernmost capital … • Since Nov 2006 • 5446 posts Report

  • Emma Hart,

    I suggest a rugby team, then go away to vacuum the house, make a batch of chocolate chip oatie biscuits, get some vanilla biscuit dough ready (school gala day coming up), and make the pastry for dinner...

    Sheesh, I just went to a restaurant and discussed gay porn.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report

  • Charles Mabbett,

    they're all crying in their red bulls over there in rugby thread land. It seems much more upbeat over here in femme payback land. haven't you heard that the all blacks lost .... ?

    Since Nov 2006 • 236 posts Report

  • Hadyn Green,

    I'm very happy to cheer y'all on, but I'm really much better at cutting oranges for half time and then hot cups of coffee afterwards (or a beer, or a martini, whatever)

    Oh and you gals can talk about circumcision all you like (crosses legs, winces).

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2090 posts Report

  • Bob Munro,

    Would you have a haka to show respect (intimidate the hell out of) the oppostioin?

    Christchurch • Since Aug 2007 • 418 posts Report

  • Emma Hart,

    Would you have a haka to show respect (intimidate the hell out of) the oppostioin?

    No, we just stand in front of them with our arms folded saying 'If you don't know what you did I'm not going to tell you' until they lose the will to live.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report

  • merc,

    On reflection, I withdraw the Alabama analogy, bad form and someday I will have to be in Christchurch again and I may meet up with a circumcising, pron discussing female rugby team and have to state my case and well frankly, it's looking a little dodgy right now.
    Soooo, whose going to be the flankers?

    Since Dec 2006 • 2471 posts Report

  • Charles Mabbett,

    Who's going to be the hooker???

    Since Nov 2006 • 236 posts Report

  • Emma Hart,

    No! No, you can't apologise, if you do I'll have to stop taking the piss out of the analogy and then what will I do with my day, look after my kids?

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report

  • Charles Mabbett,

    sorry, i see thats already been discussed.

    Since Nov 2006 • 236 posts Report

  • Anorak,

    Actually, when I was a girl in the Maori Cultural Club at Kowhai Intermediate, we used to perform women's haka. They do exist. They're just not as well known as Te Rauparaha's one. Still pretty scary though.

    Deborah, you thought of the whole thing, so you get to be whichever one you like!

    Also, the vasectomy thing... I think for men who have fathered all the children they're after, it's the decent thing to do. (ha! see me, commenting on a men's issue)
    Circumcision...not on my watch, matey.(see, I did it again!)

    Auckland • Since Apr 2007 • 61 posts Report

  • kmont,

    Where is Jo? She must be being really staunch about not participating in rugger conversations.

    And umm, women who play rugby probably just, you know, play rugby.....but since we are going down the camp route somewhat can I request some topless cheerleaders with pom poms.
    Hayden can definitely be part of the support crew if he mixes the drinks.

    wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 485 posts Report

  • merc,

    Fair call take the piss (groans can I say I was pre-men-struddle?) you're a rugby player now and I was so we're kinda brother and sister now. The showers will be a little interesting but on a cold day here's a tip, pull up lame 5 minutes before the final whistle, the hot water is yours.
    Toa wahine, perfectly capable of fighting and able to lead the haka if they had the mana and some did.

    Since Dec 2006 • 2471 posts Report

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