You have three minutes.
1. Complete the sentence: "If Radio NZ sounded like Kiwiblog…"
2. You are at Showgirls and you have a ministerial credit card in your pocket. Should you pay by the glass or get a whole bottle?
3. You have 30 dollars' worth of mining shares and you are the minister of foreign affairs in a cabinet that wants to dig up the National Parks for unobtanium. What will your statue look like?
4. What does our Prime Minister mean when he says: ''I'm going to Maui, where are you going?''
5. You are a political party. You organise protests the length and breadth of the country deploring the electoral finance bill as a threat to democracy. You win the election and then proceed to hand control of Auckland city to a collection of unelected and unaccountable bodies. You follow that with a law that strikes down proposed legislation that fails to satisfy "the principles of good law making". Is there anyone with whom you can share a drink and piss yourself laughing, without those lefty tools at Radio NZ getting wind of it?