Field Theory by Hadyn Green

6

Rules

Here is a quick rundown of the new rules to be trialled by the IRB:

1. Law 16.7 (Ruck): The ball has to be used within five seconds of it being made available at the back of a ruck or within two seconds following a warning from the opposition forwards of "Fucking come on ref!" Sanction – Scrum.

2. 19.2 (b) (Quick Throw-In) For a quick throw in, the player may be anywhere outside the field of play between the line of touch and the seats where the players girlfriends sit. Fans may be allowed to throw the ball in if they catch it and are wearing an official replica team jersey.

3. 19.4 (who throws in) When the ball goes into touch from a knock-on, the non-offending team will be offered the choice of a lineout at the point the ball crossed the touch line; or a scrum at the place of the knock-on; or a chance to win what is behind the mystery curtain. The non-offending team may exercise this option by taking a quick throw-in or by asking the crowd its opinion.

4. 21.4 Penalty and free kick options and requirements: Lineout alternative. A team awarded a penalty or a free kick at a lineout may choose a further lineout, they throw in. Should a team be awarded a penalty or a free kick at that lineout they may choose a further lineout, they throw in. Should a team be awarded a penalty or a free kick at that lineout they may choose a further lineout, they throw in. Should a team be awarded a penalty or a free kick at that lineout they may choose a further lineout, they throw in. Should a team be awarded a penalty or a free kick at that lineout they may choose a further lineout, they throw in. Should a team be awarded a penalty or a free kick at that lineout they may choose a further lineout, they throw in... This continues until the game clock runs out.

5. A conversion kick must be completed within one minute 30 seconds from the time that a try has been awarded. Any try. As such teams are allowed to attempt to convert a try scored by the opposition. First one over the crossbar gets the points.

A further three trials will be made before being added to rules at a time that will most annoy rugby fans in the Southern Hemisphere:

1. A trial to extend the jurisdiction of the TMO to incidents within the field of play that have led to the scoring of a try and foul play in the field of play to take place at an appropriate elite competition. This will require the TMO to watch the entire game up to the point they are called upon.

2. A trial has been sanctioned for the November 2012 Test window permitting international teams to nominate up to eight replacements in the match day squad for Test matches. The additional player must be a qualified front row player with at least a BA (Hons) or at minimum of three years in the forwards industry.

3. An amendment to Law 3.4 (Sevens Variation) to enable Sevens teams to nominate up to five replacements/substitutes. Under the revision, which will operate from June 1 2012, a team may substitute or replace up to five players during a match. One of the additional players must be nominated to do a "yardy" (or metric equivalent) at some point during the tournament. All players will be required to give their hotel room numbers to the girls/boys in the skanky pirate outfits.

I, for one, hope they stick.

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