"And... mark."
"Who?"
"I said mark."
"Mark who?"
"No, you synchronise your watch when I say mark."
"Is he, like, a watch guy?"
"Who?"
"Mark."
".... Just remember that we only have one shot at this and if we don't do it in the next twenty-two minutes, we'll never have the chance again. You remember your job?"
"Yeah."
"You got the crowbar?"
"Yeah."
"Did you check the gas?"
"What?"
"The gas. The gas on the torch."
"Oh. Yeah."
"That one."
"What?"
"That one."
"What?"
"You're in the wrong lane."
"What? That's the..."
"You're in the wrong lane!"
"But that isn't our..."
"It's that one! Oh, man! Oh! Oh! Oh, man. Oh! You just missed our exit!"
"Should I turn around?"
"It's a motorway. There is nothing we can do. This motorway has ruined everything."
"Oh... do you want to go to the North Shore instead?"
"No, no. I just want to go home."
"But good thing there're no tolls, eh?"
59 responses to this post
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WH,
Who knew that the ring road had such vast crime fighting potential. It's like a giant concrete circle of trust.
Anyone can divide Mt Albert and South Auckland, but you have to be really good at maths to integrate them. tadah psssh
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I think that Melissa Lee's idea that criminals don't know how to get off a motorway unless it ends is a wonderful idea - it means our motorways will fill with stolen cars that will eventually run out of petrol dumping the miscreants at random points - thus spreading crime evenly all over Auckland.
Of course the best part will be the way it helps the police:
"Police?"
"How can I help you Sir"
"My car has been stolen!"
"Not a problem Sir, borrow a can of petrol and get a friend to drive you around the ring road until you find it"
"Oh we can't go on there, we don't know how to get off...."
"What did you say your address was Sir?"
"click" -
Oh noes! They're all headed for Devonport.
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Awesomeness in the morning, thanks Keith :-)
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Rome has had a motorway ring for some time and I can report that it has completely eliminated crime. Along with all other forms of non in-car human interaction.
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Actual thread from news article shared on Facebook by Person Of Colour #1.
[link posted to "Political gaffes leave Melissa Lee's campaign in tatters"
POC1: "is dismayed.."POC2: likes this. [I don't know how to interpret this - TMM]
POC3 at 8:50pm May 14
It's unbelievably disappointing and so unnecessary.Me at 9:32pm May 14
I'm surprised that she'd be dumb enough to say something like that. And yet also, unsurprised that she would say something like that - considering that when a politician (let alone one with a shallow journalism background) gets stuck on a talking point (crime! crime! crime!) they will end up saying any fucking thing that leads back to that talking point, no matter how illogical. Keith pointed out the other day that she even tried to make the crazy sniper guy in Napier relate somehow to crime in Mt Albert. Because if it could happen in Napier... and there's a motorway between Napier and Mt Albert... crime! Hey, what about technically illegal use of publicly funded daytime work hours for political campaign purposes? Crime!POC2 at 9:40pm May 14
I feel for Melissa because no way I wanna be in her shoes a the moment. (Even if she has dug herself a hole and all)But I don't think she needs to mention the crime thing and sticks to the National Party's view point on why the motorway but not the tunnel. Even if the people are not happy with the selection, at least they are singing the same tune and she wouldn't have got this 'shit'.
It's all part of learning I guess....
Me at 9:52pm May 14
Duncan Garner's blog on the fallout is brutal (follow the various links from [POC1]'s article). It pretty much pegs her as being exposed on the campaign trail for a bully and a blowhard, and that her likelihood of rising high in the Party ranks is now slim. I don't know her personally, so have no comment on that - but dude, it is harsh.POC3 at 9:58pm May 14
I [don't] accept the 'heat of the moment' excuse because had it been genuinely heat of the moment, what the hell was she doing giving two radio i/vs the next morning defending her position and digging a deeper hole - before being yanked into apologising.
Later on in the same day, we hear she won't be giving any more ... interviews, only for her to pop up on Close Up and parrot a line over and over, then failing, yet again, to answer a basic question FOUR times. And THEN, on Nightline blathering again. I do understand that as a newbie, she's liable to make mistakes but how many mistakes can one *star* MP (with minders) make in 5 days over so many issues.Me at 10:06pm May 14
Indeed [POC3]. I guess this shows that experience in presentation and journalism on a soft-pedaling human interest programme really does not give you the chops for political debate. Alas! Look at how Asia Down Under has undermined the abilities of our best and brightest ethnic minority political prospects to participate fully and as equals in the democratic process! </>ironyPOC3 at 10:15pm May 14
I do feel for Asia Down Under's dedicated staff who have had to share in the horror. -
Welcome back, Tze Ming!
To our American readers, think Sarah Palin's personality crossed with Michelle Malkin's body.
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@DeepRed: Why are you trying to make me angry? Is it because you know I'm in London and that therefore you are safe?
(You are not safe.)
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I haven't had any caffeine yet...
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To our American readers, think Sarah Palin's personality crossed with Michelle Malkin's body.
And Joe Biden's oratory skillz.
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I do wonder where Lee got her inspiration from. A mate of mine joined the police in the mid-90s and he told me about the operational stereotypes that they used.
e.g. Maori are petty-crims, Tongans are liars.
I wonder if this has morphed into "South Aucklanders do burglaries on the isthmus", and Lee really was parroting a police officer.
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Oddly enough, when our car was stolen last year, it was found (by us, not the police) in a car park on Allan Wood Park.
Evidence suggests local Mount Albertians, not South Aucklanders, were responsible for the theft.
But what would have happened if the motorway was there...
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Uh, okay you guys. I won't be back...
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Personal experience has shown that motorways are excellent enablers of crime. They are particularly handy, for example, if you wish to evade police cars by driving against the flow of traffic at high speeds in a stolen vehicle.
(I should probably point out that I mean in Grand Theft Auto, right?)
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I wonder what would have happened during the Election, if the Media had been so clever at their analysis and persistence when dealing with some of the more outrageous claims of some politicians???
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Evidence suggests local Mount Albertians, not South Aucklanders, were responsible for the theft.
And when mine was stolen in February, it was found in Pt Chev ! Surely this a business case for that motorway through Coyle Park, over Meola Reef and thenceforth onto Beachhaven ;)
Uh, okay you guys. I won't be back...
Bugger. @Deepred & Angus, you know that thing about sexists comments being counter-productive...?
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Please come back, Tze Ming!
One of the many 'matters arising' from all this is how little the MSM (generally Pakeha, male, etc) bother with analysing the views of various minority groups in politics. Melissa Lee = Asian + TV + hot = good. That's as much as we got, before this week (and we haven't got much more now).
If Lincoln Tan at the Herald isn't telling us what teh Asianz are thinking, we got nothing. All the various media in Chinese, Korean, Hindi etc, all the forums, the newspapers ... a huge source of information and opinion, and a mystery to the rest of us, and evidently a matter of complete indifference to the political pundits, who trot out their comfortable assumptions as if they had never seen a census.
For all I know there could be a huge groundswell of support for Melissa Lee, or a secret war going on with Ravi Musuku's gang. There are thousands of Aucklanders arguing every day, whose voices people like me never hear. Who's going to tell us? Not the press gallery, certainly.
So, Tze Ming, please come back. We need you. Otherwise I'm going to start getting my insights from Garth George instead. You wouldn't want that to happen, would you?
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Bugger. @Deepred & Angus, you know that thing about sexists comments being counter-productive...?
To set the record straight, I intended my comments in a political context, not a sexual one. Something got lost in translation.
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To set the record straight, I intended my comments in a political context, not a sexual one. Something got lost in translation.
It could certainly have been better phrased.
Clearly, DeepRed's comment wasn't directed at Tze Ming, but it didn't read well anyway.
Perhaps we can all move on calmly now.
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@simon g: How could I fail to be moved by such a heartfelt plea. I have the most practical of suggestions for you as to how to find out what Asians in Auckland are thinking, in my absence: Talk to some Asians. Asians who live in Auckland. I am not one of them. You can probably find some on Facebook - that's where I got all my info about this issue.
@DeepRed & Angus: okay, sorry for the storm-off. In the confusion I even thought you guys were talking about me, not Melissa Lee and I was all 'WTF?'. To address the still-weird issues DeepRed's uncaffeinated comment raised: In general, it's not cool to reference Asian women's bodies as though they're interchangeable, even in a political context. It comes off pretty gross. Also, even if Lee is coming off uninformed or unpleasant, I have a feeling she has more foreign policy experience than Sarah Palin, and even knows the name of the newspapers she reads. I don't think it's cool that any remotely obnoxious or underinformed female politician who looks set to lose an election gets automatically compared to the worst and most embarrassing example of a loser female politician ever - as opposed to say, Hilary Clinton, who has certainly in the past displayed the same characteristics (eg. she lost)...
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Clearly, DeepRed's comment wasn't directed at Tze Ming, but it didn't read well anyway.
These things can happen while in a state of caffeine deprivation. My bad.
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For all I know there could be a huge groundswell of support for Melissa Lee, or a secret war going on with Ravi Musuku's gang. There are thousands of Aucklanders arguing every day, whose voices people like me never hear. Who's going to tell us? Not the press gallery, certainly.
We lefties always think when we expose a bigot that we have won the argument. We fail to notice that opinions like Ms Lee's are heard everyday on talkback radio and are held by many ordinary people.
Breaking news: a lot of people think that guy who killed the tagger was justified. Prediction: the result of the s59 referendum will not be a happy one.
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Prediction: the result of the s59 referendum will not be a happy one.
2ndary prediction: Given that it has no weight, National won't like that fact. What the hell do they then do with it?
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Also, even if Lee is coming off uninformed or unpleasant, I have a feeling she has more foreign policy experience than Sarah Palin, and even knows the name of the newspapers she reads.
Interesting pick.
From Sunday's Q+A:
PAUL Okay, and so when you're not spending time with your child what would you like to do? Do you read women's magazines?
MELISSA I don’t have a heck of a lot of time left now that I'm in parliament.
PAUL No, what magazines do you read?
MELISSA Not many magazines, I seem to be reading a lot of select committee papers on law and order issues as well
...
PAUL What magazines do you read?
DAVID The Economist, I'm sorry it's a boring ….
PAUL Boring, grey, university educated white man.
DAVID I'm very interested in international affairs so I actually do pick up a lot of that sort of thing.
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Tze Ming: Well, I do, of course (talk). All the time. But you know, anecdotal versus analysis and all that. "My wife's from Singapore" isn't a substitute for research. (You know all this better than me, I'm sure). I'd like the people paid to report this city/country, to at least try harder.
Anyway, glad you're still here, even if you're over there.