Hard News by Russell Brown

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Hard News: Not Helping

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  • Graeme Edgeler,

    I was raised on Stilton, though sadly even here in the UK the real thing can be hard to find. The stuff in the supermarkets may conform to regulations to carry the label of Stilton but they are mild and bland.

    There is a great scene in Lenny Henry's Chef! about this, and the lengths to which he goes to find unpasteurised stilton.

    each will served at the optimum temperature to maximise just how superbe! each is.

    And a great scene in a different episode about this, come to think about it.

    Wellington, New Zealand • Since Nov 2006 • 3215 posts Report Reply

  • Steve Barnes,

    This is because the real thing is unpalatable to some people and they are a lost sales opportunity so the product must be mild, sweet, creamy not savoury

    This is part of the problem of course, there is no accounting for taste as they say. But the manufacture of cheese is stifled by far too much regulation, pasturisation, tubercular testing, bovine spongiform encephyilitis levels and that's just the MAF stuff. In the case of an over ripe Gorganzola there are OSH regulations and fencing requirements, wheels of cheese may require a certain depth of tread and I've even heard of a certain camenbert being detained for causing a public distubance. Just because the French are allowed to flog off strange bubbling masses discovered cowering in the corner of the milk shed does not meal they should be allowed to fester in our fair land. No sir, no surree.
    Perhaps Graeame could enlighten us on the legal status of cheese in New Zealand?.

    Peria • Since Dec 2006 • 5521 posts Report Reply

  • James Liddell,

    In the case of an over ripe Gorganzola there are OSH regulations and fencing requirements, wheels of cheese may require a certain depth of tread and I've even heard of a certain camenbert being detained for causing a public distubance.

    rofflenui.

    Wellington • Since Jul 2007 • 102 posts Report Reply

  • Bruce Grey,

    There appears to be an opportunity in the market place. Blessed be the Cheese makers

    Auckland • Since Oct 2007 • 28 posts Report Reply

  • Kumara Republic,

    And Brie held in the same cell for exposing itself. Not to mention that Roquefort has been investigated by the CIA for sabotaging trade talks.

    The southernmost capital … • Since Nov 2006 • 5446 posts Report Reply

  • Mark Harris,

    Memo to self: surreptitiously change Steve's prescription...

    Waikanae • Since Jul 2008 • 1343 posts Report Reply

  • Kyle Matthews,

    There appears to be an opportunity in the market place. Blessed be the Cheese makers

    Except those guys in the Mainland adverts. They annoy me.

    Since Nov 2006 • 6243 posts Report Reply

  • Steve Barnes,

    Memo to self: surreptitiously change Steve's prescription...

    That is so many kinds of wrong. Are you suggesting I am emental case? Or that I am an abuser of Cheese

    Peria • Since Dec 2006 • 5521 posts Report Reply

  • Geoff Lealand,

    And cheese. Honestly I cannot get over how average-to-awful cheese is in New Zealand.
    Having polished off some rather good Karikaas mature Leyden after dinner, I can't entirely agree with you.

    ..and having just had some Mercer medium cumin on crackers for lunch, I would argue that Europe is not necessarily the only place for all that is aromatic and tasty..

    Screen & Media Studies, U… • Since Oct 2007 • 2562 posts Report Reply

  • andrew llewellyn,

    Except those guys in the Mainland adverts. They annoy me.

    They rock! They deserve knighthoods just for "Chubby Cheddar".

    Since Nov 2006 • 2075 posts Report Reply

  • andrew llewellyn,

    Although I can't stand that supercilious "I'm the cheesemaker" guy. Get off your arse, stop harassing the applicants & GET BACK TO WORK!

    Since Nov 2006 • 2075 posts Report Reply

  • Mark Harris,

    Or that I am an abuser of Cheese

    Wholly crap! That's one I'm please to say I knew nothing about. And I aim to keep it that way.

    Waikanae • Since Jul 2008 • 1343 posts Report Reply

  • giovanni tiso,

    ..and having just had some Mercer medium cumin on crackers for lunch, I would argue that Europe is not necessarily the only place for all that is aromatic and tasty..

    Mercer medium cumin? You and I, to Piedmont, this minute.

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report Reply

  • Islander,

    giovanni - Whitestone, Karikaas, Karitane, Gaalburn (for goat cheeses), and Kapiti...go explore!

    Big O, Mahitahi, Te Wahi … • Since Feb 2007 • 5643 posts Report Reply

  • Sofie Bribiesca,

    ..and having just had some Mercer medium cumin on crackers for lunch, I would argue that Europe is not necessarily the only place for all that is aromatic and tasty..

    Cheeze, 24 hours and it's all about cheesey cheese! It's growing like mould....., it's growing like the little baby cheezus.Also, Europe should be more experienced at growing cheese! they are the adults of our adolescence, I think.

    here and there. • Since Nov 2007 • 6796 posts Report Reply

  • giovanni tiso,

    Kapiti...go explore!

    You don't want to get me started on Kapiti cheeses. To limit myself to the cheeses they stole, the bocconcini, parmesan, mozzarella, brie and camembert (please supply double inverted commas and sarcastic tone on my behalf) are uniformly awful. I just can't find ways of excusing that cultural misappropriation.

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report Reply

  • Islander,

    We steal everything except our own kaimoana giovanni! Cheeses, lamb, beef, venison, breads & scones & pizza, all the currently available fruits, 99.99% of the vegetables - you name it, we've got it & are working on it -because none of them are natural/endemic/indigenous, and *all* of them can stand a little working on (ask the humble Chinese gooseberry...our wasabi (exported at prmium prices back to Japan)...various wines...)

    Big O, Mahitahi, Te Wahi … • Since Feb 2007 • 5643 posts Report Reply

  • Islander,

    And yep Sofie - other lands have had a looonng time to work on their stuff- "little baby cheezus"? Rofflenui!

    Big O, Mahitahi, Te Wahi … • Since Feb 2007 • 5643 posts Report Reply

  • giovanni tiso,

    We steal everything except our own kaimoana giovanni!

    And I'm fine with it. How do you think Italy got to have the fine gastronomy that it does have? But if you take a cheese with a name and a tradition and a pretty well defined set of procedures, and a taste, for chrissakes, and then you just make a pale imitation, obviously forgoing to do half the things you're supposed to do according to the recipe, and ending up of course with a far inferior product, and then you still insist on giving him the name, say, Parmesan, and charging as if it was the real thing (if not more, in fact) that's just wrong on so many levels I don't really know where to start.

    Not that I'm bitter. But you know nonna? Parmigiano is what built her patch, and lifted a whole bunch of people from the direst of poverties. We take it pretty seriously.

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report Reply

  • Islander,

    Yeah, I agree with a lot of that (paticularly the taste factor) - but these are early days: once we grow confident of our developing expertise, we then cease with the stolen nomenclature: Chinese gooseberries become kiwifruit, and cheddar ceases to have its original connotations - it becomes a kind of generic 'cheese' - tasty or mild.
    And - peace to your Nonna - if I want something to really taste 'Parmesan', I go source imported Parmigiano - because I know & can taste the difference.

    The pasteurised milk bit was mentioned: it's why I'm growing quite fond of some locally-produced goat cheese (and over-the-hill ewe cheeses & yoghurt...)

    Big O, Mahitahi, Te Wahi … • Since Feb 2007 • 5643 posts Report Reply

  • Sofie Bribiesca,

    Not that I'm bitter. But you know nonna? Parmigiano is what built her patch,

    Mmmm, Last night's was divine (Italian) and a yummy Spanish Blue up at Nosh.......mmmmmmmm

    here and there. • Since Nov 2007 • 6796 posts Report Reply

  • giovanni tiso,

    Yeah, I agree with a lot of that (paticularly the taste factor) - but these are early days: once we grow confident of our developing expertise, we then cease with the stolen nomenclature

    Mmmmhhh... I don't know if I can accept that. Cheese and oil and winemakers in New Zealand on the whole are pretty slick operations, with a lot of agriscience and marketing behind them. It's not as if they ignore what it takes to make a good cheese, or the inventiveness to come up with a good recipe of their own, or the fresh ingredient. If they have a whole line of poorly made fake imports, it seems to me, is purely out of calculation: the name allows to sell more cheese and at a higher price, and cutting corners on the process (on the grounds that not enough people have had a chance to taste the real thing) maximises profits. I know actual Parmigiano makers who have been struggling for quite some time, and yet they keep respecting the recipe and doing their darned best to put out the product that they've always offered. There is a pride in that and that somebody on the other side of the planet can just cash in on it jars a little. Especially coming from a country that prides itself on respecting and valuing indigeneity.

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report Reply

  • Peter Ashby,

    If they have a whole line of poorly made fake imports, it seems to me, is purely out of calculation: the name allows to sell more cheese and at a higher price, and cutting corners on the process (on the grounds that not enough people have had a chance to taste the real thing)

    I'm with you Giovanni, now I have lived and travelled in Europe and can go into the supermarket here and get French Camembert and Roquefort and Spanish Manchego and Parmigiano (had some grated on top the pasta bake last night, mmmm) and Mozzarella from Italy. In fact if the supermarkets want to sell pasta for any money it has to be made in Italy. Even my gluten free stuff is.

    However before I gained the experience what did I know? only that the NZ 'Camemberts' didn't ripen while the French ones did (when we could afford them). I agree that local knockoffs in NZ are very pale imitations of the real thing and we should be forging our own types instead.

    Here's a suggestion, in Prague we had with our beer some 'beer cheese' not made with beer but made to go with beer and boy did it. I reckon a similar sort of product made to go with NZ brews could go down a storm. Just don't claim it is from Bohemia.

    Dundee, Scotland • Since May 2007 • 425 posts Report Reply

  • Danielle,

    Is there such a thing as a cheese tour of Europe? I now feel like I need to go on one.

    Charo World. Cuchi-cuchi!… • Since Nov 2006 • 3828 posts Report Reply

  • giovanni tiso,

    I'm with you Giovanni, now I have lived and travelled in Europe and can go into the supermarket here and get French Camembert and Roquefort and Spanish Manchego and Parmigiano (had some grated on top the pasta bake last night, mmmm) and Mozzarella from Italy. In fact if the supermarkets want to sell pasta for any money it has to be made in Italy.

    My objection though is not so much where the stuff was made, but how it was made. Mozzarella is now a generic cheese name, so far as I know there is no consortium that protects its provenance, at least outside of Europe. Make it wherever you want, but make it well. Or if you make a cheap knock off, charge the price of a cheap knock off. Similarly with pasta, there are Australian supermarket brands that are better than some of the inferior Italian ones that ship over here, and there's at least one excellent local dry pasta maker in Christchurch that I happen to know of, probably more. And tons of great fresh pasta makers. I have absolutely no objection to that. Nor do I have anything against Pizza Hut, etc. So long as you don't pretend to be Italian (like the Dolmio sauces or an incredible maker of Panforte, also from Christchurch), it's all okay by me.

    In the case of Parmigiano, you can't make it anywhere else (it's been tried, in Argentina), there's just something in the local soil. But if you want to make a decent grateable cheese that serves more or less the same function, first of all make it decent, and second of all don't charge as if it was the real thing (the Kapiti was actually more expensive than the imported Parmigiano, until the NZ dollar crashed last year), since obviously it's costing you so much less to make. Otherwise it's just cultural piracy.

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report Reply

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