Cracker by Damian Christie

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Cracker: Go Figure

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  • Pete Sime,

    Thanks to someone introducing me to Charlie Brooker in some other thread, I've been looking at a lot of his stuff on YouTube. This seems strangely appropriate. Contains NSFW language.

    Dunedin • Since Apr 2008 • 171 posts Report Reply

  • stephen clover,

    Really? Then how come the ads themselves are mostly so, so naff.

    Anyone else ever noticed that all of the REALLY TERRIBLE NAFF ones are Australian?

    Anyone else ever noticed that Craig Parker voices between three to five different commercials at any time? Why an ad agency would do that (hire a voice actor who is currently all over current campaigns) is beyond me -- unless they think that no one would notice, or else no one would care. Either way I'm so sick of his voice, I'm hoping that his appearance in a lead role in the new series Spartacus will reduce his attractiveness to ad-makers somewhat.

    Spartacus is a spectacularly gory new show about gladiators in ancient Rome. It's produced by Mr. Lucy Lawless Rob Tappert, and features much nudity, much sex*, and much stomach-churning ultra-violence. Having seen two episodes I can report that it comes across like a bizarre three-way between Caligula, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and gay porn.

    * including some featuring a mostly naked Lucy Lawless. BSG/Xena fans, are you taking note? ;)

    wgtn • Since Sep 2007 • 355 posts Report Reply

  • philipmatthews,

    Having seen two episodes I can report that it comes across like a bizarre three-way between Caligula, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and gay porn.

    So kinda like Rome, but with more sex and less historical accuracy?

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2007 • 656 posts Report Reply

  • Mike Graham,

    Anyone else ever noticed that Craig Parker voices between three to five different commercials at any time?

    No, our household uses the mute button every ad-break!

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 206 posts Report Reply

  • stephen clover,

    So kinda like Rome, but with more sex and less historical accuracy?

    More or less, yeah. Not sure how much historical accuracy they are actually aiming for though. But the violence is utterly depraved, pornographic, cartoon-ish gore with all sorts of amazing post-production effects, and Carrie-like volumes of fake blood. (I even noticed blood-splash on the camera lens at one point.) No idea if this is taking things to another level or simply the state of the art, but I've never seen anything like it (although I don't really watch films like 300, so...)

    By the way, my intention is not to convey disapproval -- personally I could care less. It's just all a bit.. shocking :))

    wgtn • Since Sep 2007 • 355 posts Report Reply

  • BenWilson,

    I like shocking. I liked Rome . Who does Parker play?

    I hadn't noticed his voice - when fast forwarding there's no audio. But it's a nice voice, I can see (hear?) why they use it.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 10657 posts Report Reply

  • Hilary Stace,

    Philip: Wasn't that a terrible funeral in Coro St the other night? Liam left in a shelf at the undertakers and not brought home for everyone to have a proper goodbye. Not a flower on the coffin, no interaction between dead person and congregation, and just a bunch of dreary hymns sung by people dressed in black. I haven't been to a funeral like that for decades. I think we must do death better here.

    Wgtn • Since Jun 2008 • 3229 posts Report Reply

  • Geoff Lealand,

    Look forward to Spartacus..

    The TVCs that really get up my nose are the shouting ones (you know who you are, Harvey Norman). Would you really want invite such an oaf into your house?

    As for Fiona McDonald--is there anything she won't sell on screen? Hard to reconcile with her Headless Chickens days.

    Screen & Media Studies, U… • Since Oct 2007 • 2562 posts Report Reply

  • philipmatthews,

    I was struck by how small the congregation was -- surely a show as big as Coro would splash out on extras sometimes? Didn't take Liam as that friendless. But you're right -- an utterly dour scene. Same sort of stuff when the baby was buried.

    Not everything on the show is entirely plausible. The notion of Dev being irresistible to two generations of women is stretching things just a little.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2007 • 656 posts Report Reply

  • stephen clover,

    I like shocking. I liked Rome . Who does Parker play?

    Claudius Glaber.

    I hadn't noticed his voice - when fast forwarding there's no audio. But it's a nice voice, I can see (hear?) why they use it.

    Oh, don't get me wrong, I don't think its an unpleasant voice. I just can't see the logic in having the guy who's selling me National Bank also selling me a number of other things.

    wgtn • Since Sep 2007 • 355 posts Report Reply

  • Hilary Stace,

    I think the Dev story line was in response to calls from his fans to give him more action. The show is susceptible to ratings too.

    Wgtn • Since Jun 2008 • 3229 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha,

    The TVCs that really get up my nose are the shouting ones

    Discount f#$king Tyres. Grrr.

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19745 posts Report Reply

  • BenWilson,

    Parker could sell anything. He's that good.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 10657 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha,

    Tyres, perhaps. Quietly.

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19745 posts Report Reply

  • BenWilson,

    But not roofs...that will forever belong to G-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-Gerard.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 10657 posts Report Reply

  • Danielle,

    The notion of Dev being irresistible to two generations of women is stretching things just a little.

    And oh BOY is that actor a scenery-chewer. He's an incredible cheeseball. The poor girl who plays Amber (I *love* Amber) must spend half her time trying to keep a straight face.

    Charo World. Cuchi-cuchi!… • Since Nov 2006 • 3828 posts Report Reply

  • 3410,

    you know who you are, Harvey Norman

    Seriously, those should be illegal.

    In fact, I think I did read something a month or two back about authorities in the US proposing (or considering) some sort of ban on such "intrusive" TV advertising.

    Auckland • Since Jan 2007 • 2618 posts Report Reply

  • Craig Ranapia,

    Spartacus is a spectacularly gory new show about gladiators in ancient Rome. It's produced by Mr. Lucy Lawless Rob Tappert, and features much nudity, much sex*, and much stomach-churning ultra-violence.

    The best review of Sparticus I came across on-line: "I am Sparticus. You are Sparticus. Wanna fuck before or after I stab you, Sparticus?" Heh...

    North Shore, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 12370 posts Report Reply

  • BenWilson,

    The best review of Sparticus I came across on-line: "I am Sparticus. You are Sparticus. Wanna fuck before or after I stab you, Sparticus?" Heh...

    Gawd, and I thought Laurence Olivier was sinister in the original: "I like the oyster and the snail" <leers suggestively/>.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 10657 posts Report Reply

  • philipmatthews,

    Far too subtle for today's crowd ...

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2007 • 656 posts Report Reply

  • Geoff Lealand,

    Barney jumps the gun? John Barnett, CEO of South Pacific Pictures, gives his view of NZ film and the Film Commission, in advance of the release of the Peter Jackson-led review. I will attempt to link to it here http://www.screenhub.co.nz/news/shownewsarticleG.asp?newsID=31349">John Barnett: bored with waiting, conducts own review of the NZFC</a>"><a href="http://www.screenhub.co.nz/news/shownewsarticleG.asp?newsID=31349">John Barnett: bored with waiting, conducts own review of the NZFC</a>

    Screen & Media Studies, U… • Since Oct 2007 • 2562 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha,

    fixed

    PAS doesn't do <a> tags, Geoff

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19745 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Brown,

    Had a look at Spartacus last night.

    It's a bit bizarre - as if they're trying to do all the "only on cable" things they possibly can: swearing, shagging, full-frontal nudity and hilarious spurts of computer-generated blood.

    Perhaps US audiences will hear all the Kiwi and Australian accents as being exotic, but it's pretty funny from here hearing an Aussie bawling out "fucking cunts!"

    It got late, so we stopped, but I might have another look, just to see what crazy-assed place its so-called story leads to. Also, to see whether they can keep their merkins on straight.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22850 posts Report Reply

  • Geoff Lealand,

    Thanks, Sacha. It did look like a dog's breakfast.

    Screen & Media Studies, U… • Since Oct 2007 • 2562 posts Report Reply

  • Alien Lizard (anag),

    surely it would be
    "fvckin cvnt"
    ...when in Rome and all that

    The Arrrgh Complex • Since Jan 2010 • 158 posts Report Reply

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