Field Theory by Hadyn Green

57

One man with 18 feeds

The last few times I've written about sport someone has complained that I haven't mentioned their favourite sport. What do you people want from me! I'm just one man!

Well, I do have a large number of sports feeds for the purpose of knowing all there is to know about sport (suggestions of new feeds are always welcome by the way), so here's my fisk of this mornings headlines.

The Singapore Grand Prix looked like something out of a Playstation. Filipe Massa had pole but blew his chances and Alonzo took the checkered flag.

I'm no fan of Alonzo, but I'm also no fan of Lewis Hamilton (mainly because he drives for McClaren – points off to the first person who calls McClaren a "kiwi team"). In fact I can't think of a F1 driver I actually have liked since Schumacher retired.

Sticking with speed: Haile Gebrselassie broke his own marathon world record on Sunday. He ran 2:03:59 in the Berlin Marathon (where he set the record last year). Maybe choosing to skip the Olympics paid off?

The Warriors lost to the Sea Eagles (the most retro of league teams narrowly pipping the Raiders). But they were not blanked unlike the Sharks. This means, by my calculation, the the Warriors are the third best team in the NRL. And we should all be stoked about that. Well everyone except Chris Rattue, shit he's a gloomy bugger.

The two best teams have made the NRL Grand Final and the pesky upstarts have been sent home. It should be a good game and I'm picking the Eagles to take it.

Quickly to the rugby where there were a few close, last minute victory/defeat/draw games: BoP 24 Southland 22; Taranaki 13 Counties-Manukau 13; Harbour 22, Auckland 29. But the most tense of these (though I suppose that has a lot to do with what team you support) was Wellington vs Tasman.

The Makos came in to town and were leading for a loooong time. I can imagine that various folk were feeling quite uncomfortable. But the shield is now safe and sound in Wellington until next season. Then, who knows…

And speaking of Tasman it looks like they (and Northland) get another bite at the sweet, sweet cherry that is the Air New Zealand Cup. Richard Loe isn't happy about it though and he wants the head of Steve Tew. I assume he's talking figuratively.

There is a strange dichotomy here in that many feel that there needs to be a change in the Air NZ Cup but nobody wants to alter anything. For example Northland should be dropped due to poor form but should also be kept in because they have so much history in the game. New Zealand's first ever rugby match was played in Nelson but you don't hear people using that to defend Tasman. I am in favour of dropping two teams and then having a promotion-relegation match each year (we've discussed this before). I'm not really in favour of changing anything else (except maybe revenue sharing and a few of the uniforms).

The Canterbury Union would like to change the play-off system to be more like the McIntyre system in the NRL. They feel they've been hard done by after locking up the second spot and only receiving a home game for their troubles. It's hard to write this as I struggle through the tears I'm shedding for the Canterbury rugby union.

Just as an aside I saw a few Tasman supporters downtown on the weekend. Those new uniforms are really ugly. The patches aren't even sewn on; they are just printed onto the strange synthetic fabric. Ick! And sticking with my aside: Waikato don't seem to have Canterbury-made uniforms and still have a proper collar. Well done Waikato.

The Major League Baseball is getting to the crunch time (after hundreds of games, why does it always come down to the final week?). My Mets are now tied in the wild-card race for the National League with the Milwaukee Brewers (a team smart enough to name itself after beer) after the stupid Phillies won the division. Now I need the Chicago Cubs to beat the Brewers, which suddenly makes me a Cubs fan. Don't you love it when that happens?

I don't follow football (soccer). I find the Premiership to be dull and the Champion's League only just bearable. However, Hull beating Arsenal 2-1 is sweet. Arsène Wenger saying after the match that Arsenal "gave too much room to West Brom" is even sweeter.

And finally: the secret life of a water pistol assassin. I remember playing this at uni, I also remember being "taken out" as I left the cafeteria. This guy, however, takes it really seriously:

[Mr Deane] shaved the beard he wore for the picture his pursuer is carrying. He is considering borrowing a wheelchair to use as part of a disguise. By Friday evening, he had logged four kills; he was one of 16 players left. "I've been walking around like a crazy person," he said, "wondering when they're going to get me." His wife, who works promoting nightclubs, is very patient about the whole thing.

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