Field Theory by Hadyn Green

I love American sports. Right now we are in the golden part of the year when the baseball and football seasons overlap (as opposed to that awful time when the basketball, ice hockey and football overlap). The Americans really do sport very well and there are things we can take from them and not just in regard to sport. They can teach us things about life.

Lesson 1: Social media can be a bad thing

So many American athletes have used social media to build themselves a brand; Shaq and Lance Armstrong being the obvious ones. But so many athletes are using Twitter and Facebook and streaming video sites, like UStream, that the various leagues and officials have banned tweeting during matches.

The NFL said … it will allow players to use social media networks this season, but not during games. Players, coaches and football operations personnel can use Twitter, Facebook and other social media up to 90 minutes before kickoff, and after the game following traditional media interviews.

During games, no updates will be permitted by the individual himself __or anyone representing him__ on his personal Twitter, Facebook or any other social media account, the league said.

The use of social media by NFL game officials and officiating department personnel will be prohibited at all times. The league, which has always barred play-by-play descriptions of games in progress, also extended that ban to social media platforms.

So in this sense the league is not looking at blocking the service to players but more that they want to respect the more traditional forms of media who don't want to be "scooped" by over-enthusiastic players.

Of course players can also show us the downside of our new "fuck privacy" lifestyles. Adam "Pacman" Jones (don't let the nickname fool you, he's a jerk, see #3 below) was an unemployed footballer, due to an unfair system and his predilection for illegal activities, like shooting people in a strip club. So when he was signed by the Winnepeg Blue Bombers (a Canadian Football League team) he instantly went onto UStream to tell all of his fans about how "excited" he was. Here's the run down of Jones' broadcast:

Jones didn't even know the name of the league in which he thought he'd be playing. He disparaged that league by equating playing there to "pain," and indicated a desire to get back to the NFL as soon as possible (which might be true, but it still disrespectful to the Canadian league, and something you probably don't want to mention out loud).

And then, just for good measure, he bragged about his money and made everyone wonder, [after showing off his fiancé's engagement ring] "Who in the world would agree to marry Pacman Jones?"

"Pacman" is no longer employed by the Blue Bombers.

Other athletes have done equally stupid things (photos of new tattoos with bags of drugs in the background for example). But then there are also the perils of friends with cameras at parties as Michael Phelps can attest.

Lesson 2: Everything that seems so big is yet still so small.

No matter how big everything gets in America you still can't fit it all in. For example the brand new Cowboys Stadium is actually a parable for America's Eco-calypse (not to be confused with the Econocalypse). Despite the seemingly limitless resources of the Dallas Cowboys organisation (listed as the richest in America by Forbes) they couldn't fit everything into the finite constraints of the new stadium.

They have the world's largest LCD screen, but it hangs too low and kicks hit it. They have room for 100,000 fans, but of those 35,000 can't see the game (or the really quite large TV) because they'll be in the standing room only "party zone".

Clearly the entire existence of Cowboy's Stadium is to teach Americans about how to use their resources better. Even the team's name is a lesson in America's horrible colonial past (especially when the Redskins come to visit every year).

Lesson 3: All sportspeople are jerks. Every goddamn one of them!

No matter how many times they are voted to the All-Star squad. No matter how many charities they have. No matter how cool they are in interviews. No matter how pretty they look. Every fucking one of them is an asshat of the highest order.

They cheat. They hurt animals. They drive drunk. They intentionally injure other players. They lie. They use performance enhancers. They beat their partners. They use performance enhancers and beat their partners.

And not just the players, the coaches are jerks too. For much the same reasons as above.

So just remember that next time you're fawning over the pretty boys and girls, they will always come back to hurt you.

I started with a rational argument about this. I looked at EULAs, I discussed how advertising has invaded and permeated sports coverage. But in the end, my new copy of Madden 10 is still downloading goddamn ads on my dime!

I wasn't too surprised when my new copy of Madden, the biggest selling games franchise of all time (RRP $120.00), came filled with advertisements for Snickers ("are you ready for the Chompetition?").

But I did find myself slightly alarmed when my game started showing me in-game ads for the new McDonalds burger. Who thought this was a good idea?

For those three or four of you who are interested, Madden is as good as ever (apart from the ads).

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I was feeling a might low yesterday so I went looking at uniforms to cheer me up, Stade Francais never lets me down. This one reminds me of those Mambo "Loud Shirts", whereas this one I'm told should come with a free one of these.

Now contrast those rather gaudy outfits with the cool efficiency of Germany's new World Cup strip. I know football uniforms are basically a t-shirt, but it still looks cool.

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Speaking of (ahem) uniforms, next week is not only the start of the NFL season (yippee!) it's the start of the Lingerie Football League (do I really need to tell you that the link might be NSFW?). Possibly the only sport where the uniform is in the name.

You may have heard about this a while ago. There was once an event called the Lingerie Bowl that was broadcast (probably on cable) during the halftime show of the Superbowl. The premise is that two teams of aesthetically pleasing women play American football wearing, pads, helmets and lingerie. Naturally this concept bombed.

It bombed because the folks who want to watch women wrestle for a football would rather they weren't wearing any clothes and occasionally paused to kiss (then again [possibly NSFW]). And the folks who like sport wanted to see real athletes (then again). I have watched a Lingerie Bowl (strictly for research you understand) and found it dull in the extreme.

So after two years with no Lingerie Football at all, 2009 saw a comeback. And I believe it can all be put down to a fantastic media strategy, one that involved many mainstream media outlets.

The league expanded the number of teams, and then to fill the rosters they held public try-outs. The try-outs were open to media and photographers and camera men flocked to what was marketed as "quirky sports" piece. The same footage was screened on numerous blogs and television news programmes (including TVNZ) at the end of the sports section usually introed with a grin and "…and if you thought you'd seen everything in sport…" style joke and followed with one of those crappy sports presenter style misogynist banter things.

This was repeated when the players were invited on morning television shows like Fox & Friends.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Fox & Friends' Lingerie Football Romp
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Healthcare Protests

So now, just by being "quirky" instead of being "sexy" T&A is shown on national television and interest in the league grows.

The next step is probably going to be to try and get the hipster demographic who go to burlesque because it's cool and not to look at the ladies taking their clothes off.

It was a heck of a problem. I had planned to sample all of the winners of the <a Brewers Guild of New Zealand Awards at the event known as Beervana. Some of you may remember my trip there last year in which I just tried interesting beers that caught my eye. This year I just wanted to try what the judges thought were the best.

The problem I faced was that one of the winners wasn't there: Tui.

No, I shit you not. DB Breweries' Tui won the Best New Zealand Draught category. Right now you're either thinking:

1. WTF? How can Tui be the best beer in any class? or
2. WTF? How did normal Tui beat Tui Extra Strength? (an abomination that did once exist)

The truth of the matter is that no other beer was entered into the New Zealand Draught category UPDATE: eight other beers were entered in that category, none are listed as medalists, so Tui was the best of that bunch. Many of the brewers I spoke to thought that the award was a bit of a joke and that Draught as a style of beer is dying out. Beer drinkers now want rich flavour; something that will compliment food; and less fizzy junk. That is except the binge drinkers who just want to sink cheap piss.

To add to the confusion, the awards are given out a bit like the old Sixth Form Certificate. There are a certain amount of Golds, Silvers and Bronzes to give out. So the best in a particular category may not actually be a gold-level beer, while another winner might be the best of a number of golds.

The other surprise winner was Speight's Distinction Ale that won Best International Lager. That's right; an ale won the lager category. The Speight's brewer seemed to be genuinely surprised by the win, so much so that they hadn't brought any with them. He even alluded to the fact that he thought their Pilsner was a much better beer.

But the controversy continued. Some brewers were annoyed that international breweries were allowed to enter and could claim medals (though they weren't allowed to win trophies). Deschutes Brewery came away with the overall International Brewery award and Sam Adams also picked up a few medals.

The New Zealand brewers argue that, like the New Zealand wine awards, International breweries shouldn't be allowed to enter. It's hard enough to carve out a niche without having to compete with imports. Damn foreigners taking our beer awards!

Still those sneaky Ruskies managed to take one away and that was my first drink. The Baltika No.7 won European lager. Baltika, you may remember, is the largest producer of beer in Europe, pumping out 50m hectolitres of beer every year. The young lady I spoke to didn't know what a hectolitre was, neither did I, neither did Mike, Jed or the other guy behind the bar. She tried to explain it thusly: "You know a hectare? It's like that but in litres".

Blinded by science, I was lured into trying their non-alcoholic beer. The standard joke is right; there is no point to it.

I never actually discovered why Baltika (a beer brewed in Russia) was allowed to win a category. Perhaps it was because the only other medal winners in that category were also foreign (Sam Adams and Maui Brewing Co.)

Dying to try a decent beer I headed to Harrington's for their best in class European Ale Style beer, the Pig and Whistle. I have to say for my second beer it was quite dark and heavier than I expected for an ale. But when I looked at the list of other medallists (Emerson's Bookbinder, Mata Artesian, Monteith's Celtic Red) I could see that the category was quite varied.

Brewer Matt Thomson said that they were surprised they had won because they had been (like the Speight's brewer) concentrating on other beers. I noted to Matt that it was a very malty flavoured beer; he said that it was because of tea-bagging. I caught the spit-take before it happened.

Naturally tea-bagging is the process of planting a muslin bag filled with crushed malt into the boil near the end of the process which creates a stronger malty flavour. It is not anything dirty.

Next up was the Epic Armageddon IPA; winner of the Best New Zealand, US & International Ale Styles award. But not just any Armageddon out of the (snazzy-looking) bottle, this was poured from a barrel. And, for that matter, not just any barrel, a barrel that had been at sea for months, with the beer aging inside.

Luke's two barrels (named Pete and Melissa after international beer authors) were placed aboard the Awatere ferry and set sail to replicate the original voyage that first created Indian Pale Ale. Beer brewed in England was transported around the Cape of Good Hope to India for the colonies and by the time it arrived it had evolved into the wonderful IPA we drink today, sort of.

As we sipped the rather oddly textured beer, I caught Luke taking a piece of something out of his glass, he joked that their first thought was that the beer would disintegrate the wooden homemade barrels and the beer would be full of splinters (it wasn't). But at the end of the first day of Beervana small pieces of black "stuff" was floating in some glasses, Luke told folks not to worry, "it's history".

The first barrel actually did almost break. The metal bonds broke and it threatened to split, but the beer filled the cracks and held it together. Is there anything beer can't do?

It was strange not having a cold beer. So how did the judges try it? Yeastie Boys brewer Stu McKinlay said that they were one of the later entries to be judged so he assumed his award-winning Pot Kettle Black porter wouldn't have been too cold. But then again, some beers are served too cold. Brewers can ask that judges sample their beers at particular temperatures. One brewer (allegedly from a certain Russian brand) told the judges that their beer was to be drunk at 0°C.

I mentioned this to Gaby Ruiz, sensory expert for Lion Breweries, and she was bemused. "At that temperature, you'd be lucky to smell or taste anything". Gaby was running the sensory testing sessions where she added chemicals to Mac's Gold and then got us to try and pick them up (whether this assumes Mac's Gold has no natural flavour, I couldn't say). Interestingly "flavours", like diacetyl (that gives a buttery feel), that are prized in some wine varieties but are defects in beer because it masks or washes out other flavours.

Gaby has the best job in the country. She trains all of Lion Nathan's tasters and drinks beer all day (for those interested in following her career moves, she started with personal care products, then moved to ham and sausages, then cookies, and then beer).

But the brewer everyone wanted to be and that every brewer I spoke to commended was overall Brewery Winner Emerson's. Their Dunkelweiss and Weizenbock both won Gold, Bookbinder and Southern Clam Stout got Silver, and Taieri George won Bronze. On top of that the JP 2009, BeWITched Festive Brew and Organic Pilsner all won best in class.

I sat down with a brewer from Emerson's (Update it was James Falconer) with a glass of the Pilsner (and later a JP).

Did you catch me saying "leverage" and him saying "springboard"?

Now to you fill your beer fridges over the coming year, here are the beers I tried:

• Moa Dark Reserve – a dark beer with strong hoppy flavours that won Best Specialty, Experimental, Aged, Barrel & Wood-Aged Styles.
• Tuatara Hefe – possibly my favourite beer of the day and described by it's maker as a "South German Hefeweisen, which means it's a beer that's fermented with malted wheat as well as malted barley, … ours is more of a clovey sort of one, the fermentable esters you get from wheat give you banana and bubblegum and clove flavours, a very refreshing style." Easily the longest description elicited from a brewer all day.
• Yeastie Boys' Pot Kettle Black (porter) – Cold it tasted like a strong ale, but as it warmed up (during my conversation with the brewers) it took on chocolatey-orange flavours. A very good beer for (what remains of) winter and recommended if available on a hand-pull

• Epic Armageddon IPA (sea-aged in a barrel) – the beer was cloudier than the bottled stuff and it had a creamier texture to it. It also didn't have the harsh hops taste that some people don't like in the Epic pale ales. Age had mellowed it. From the bottle the beer has an overwhelming hops flavour that may need a few sips to get used to.
• Twisted Hop Golding Bitter – As an alternative to a NZ Draught Sean at the Twisted Hop poured me a glasss of their Golding Bitter. It is marketed as a "session beer", meaning one that has a lower alcohol level (3.7%) and so can be drunk in larger quantities. Light and easy to drink it had nice bite to it, but not my kind of thing.
• Baltika Non-alcoholic – drink this only if lemonade is not available (or you want to pretend you're drinking when you're not)
• Baltika No.7 Lager – drink this only if lemonade is not available. Light fizzy, not a lot of flavour
• Harrington's Pig and Whistle – a dark ale. Heavy and flavoursome, it would be a nice alternative to a stout or porter

But of course Beervana is about the drinkers. There were no boozed up idiots hurling abuse or any other kind of nonsense you might usually associate with a large group of people. There was Andy, the brewer from Renaissance who started making wine at 12 and beer at age 15; Eric Armstrong, the amiable Scotsman who talked our ears off in front of the Tuatara stand; Josh from Moa who could only see bright stars in New Zealand's brewing future; Dominic, the owner of Wellington's newest boutique beer bar that has Flying Dog Ales (Hunter S Thompson's brewery); and everyone else…

Caster Semenya has a testosterone level three times that of the average woman. That is what is currently being reported. Of course no one would expect an average woman (or even the average man) to have the muscle density necessary to win gold in the 800m at the World Athletic Championships.

So what are the levels of the average woman? The International Association of Athletic Federations (IAAF) considers a testosterone-oestrogen ratio of 1:1 normal for men and women.

What are considered "normal" levels vary from individual to individual and in the individual themselves depending on several factors: Testosterone levels vary during the menstrual cycle as do other sex hormones, testosterone peaks during the middle phase of the cycle around the time of ovulation.

It also fluctuates during the day; levels are higher in women in the morning than later in the day. Levels also decline with age gradually before menopause but not over the time of natural menopause. Testosterone levels of women in their 40s is half of those in their 20s.

Moreover, birth-control, training for athletics, and gaining muscle mass can also do crazy things to a woman's testosterone levels.

None of this is meant to explain the variance in Semenya's test; it is merely to give some perspective. According to reliable reports Semenya was born with a form of hermaphroditism. What is unknown is if she has had surgery to remove any male gonad tissue she may have had, and if so, when.

The IAAF has thought through these possibilities and does have protocols for them (pdf).

5. Reconstructive surgery and sex reassignment

• if sex change operations as well as appropriate hormone replacement therapy are performed before puberty then the athlete is allowed to compete as a female

• if the sex change and hormone therapy is done after puberty then the athlete has to wait two years after gonadectomy before a physical and endocrinological evaluation is conducted

(The crux of the matter is that the athlete should not be enjoying the benefits of natural testosterone predominance normally seen in a male)

6. Conditions that should be allowed:
(a) Those conditions that accord no advantage over other females:

• Androgen insensitivity syndrome (Complete or almost complete - previously called testicular feminization);
• Gonadal dysgenesis (gonads should be removed surgically to avoid malignancy);
• Turner's syndrome.

(b) Those conditions that may accord some advantages but nevertheless acceptable:

• Congenital adrenal hyperplasia;
• Androgen producing tumors;
• Anovulatory androgen excess (polycystic ovary syndrome).

So as you can see, this isn't a feminist issue as has been put forward on some sites that centre on those issues. If anything it's an issue to do with biological conditions, you could even say it's an issue with disabilities. She may have some medical issue causing her testosterone levels to be too high and a panel comprising of a gynaecologist, an endocrinologist, a psychologist, an internal medicine specialist, and an expert on gender/transgender issues will determine what exactly is going on.

Sadly the South African authorities did not do proper testing before Semenya reached Berlin.

However, to say Semenya was unfairly singled out because she looks a bit like a man is like saying a swimmer is unfairly targeted because you can see the outboard motor she has strapped to her butt. If you look like you might be cheating then you'll get tested. And there is precedent.

So having extra testosterone is cheating because it's a steroid hormone, it helps you build muscle and grow hair and possibly gives you the ability to back a trailer. Various athletes (men and women) have had excuses about why they might have higher levels of testosterone than normal (as decided by the T/E ratio). "Recently had sex" is a common one. As is "was drinking the night before". That's what cheating motherfucker Floyd Landis said after he was caught.

Speaking of cycling, Lance Armstrong had his testosterone levels altered when he had a gonad removed.

Now as for steroids in general, let's get this straight right now. If you can't hit the ball now, no amount of steroids, human growth hormones, blood-doping or extra testosterone is going to help you. But if you can hit, then… wow.

Looking at baseball in 2007, Roger Tobin published a paper in the American Journal of Physics saying that a ten percent increase in muscle mass would create a four percent increase in the speed of ball off the end of the bat. That four percent translates into 50 percent more home runs.

That's huge, but it's not the main issue with steroids.

For a start this only helps hitters, what about pitchers? Pitchers can increase the speed of their pitches by roughly five percent, that isn't a huge increase in speed and is not significant if a hitter can hit your 90mph fastball already.

Pitching is about deceiving the batter into swinging for a ball at the wrong time or place, and increased muscle mass isn't going to help that.

Here's what taking steroids does for pitchers, footballers and other athletes where pure muscle mass isn't an advantage, it allows them to keep going.

Sabermetrician Bill James wrote a position paper that claimed that "steroids was no harm to baseball". No harm at all because:

One of the characteristics of the steroid era was that we had several dozen players who continued to improve beyond the normal aging time frame, so that many of them had their best seasons past the age of 32. … But what does it mean? It means that steroids keep you young. … Well, if steroids keep you young, what's wrong with that?

So pitchers, like Roger Clemens (one of the many players of baseball's "Steroid Era"), can keep putting off retirement, keep earning money and keep adding numbers to records. Longevity is not something that can be replicated with muscle-training at the gym, at least not with a day-to-day sport like baseball or even football, basketball or cricket.

Suddenly all those records set years ago are within reach. Even Cal Ripkin's ones.

It should be noted that muscle-training can be effective.

At the last Olympics, American swimmer Dana Torres competed in the 50m freestyle. A typical day for her was swimming followed by hours of intense training of individual muscles to do particular things. This is not the type of training Michael Phelps does; it's not the type of training Torres did when she won her first gold medal, a year before Phelps was born. She didn't win at the Olympics, but she showed that great athletes can still be competitive for many years after their peak.

As for Semenya; if she's found to be within the limits of IAAF regulations then good luck to her. The atmosphere before her 800m final was apparently quite ugly and afterwards wasn't much better. She won't be able to find a friendly track anywhere outside of South Africa (where she apparently has quite a fan base). She'll smash records but her career will be very short because if she shows up to a meet, then other runners won't.

On Tuesday night I attended my first ever basketball game. This was one night after the Silver Ferns poor game against the World 7 (and as it turns out one night before the Silver Ferns second poor game against the World 7).

My first impression was that this was much flashier than the netball. There was a live band playing funk, there were cheerleaders throwing each other in the air, there were local drunken rich people in the "courtside" boxes.

But what really got me was the aggression. Basketball might be the most aggressive (non-combative) sport I've ever seen. Within three minutes of the tip-off players were yelling at each other and arguing with the refs (who naturally didn't make a single correct call according to the players and coaches).

Why so serious?

The most vocal of the Aussies was captain Joseph Ingles, who was fairly candid in his assessment of the referees' decisions ("bullshit"). At one point (as seen below) he declared: "C'mon we're playing basketball not netball!" Not only slightly offensive but not even a good line.

This is why I was so proud of Kirk Penney who disagreed with the referee in a very New Zealand fashion: "Awww, rubbish!"

In a way I was glad of the anger. It helped push the Tall Blacks to an early lead and then they never really faltered. By the time we got to the awful drawn out final two minutes of the game (easily the worst thing about basketball) the game was already decided and the Australian's fouls were only adding to the points differential.

Something I was quite aware of was the intense noise. I can't think of any other game where music can be played while the teams are playing. There were island drums set up along the baseline and they played almost constantly. Side note: I know New Zealand is in Polynesia, but why are Polynesian drums the default for New Zealand teams?

And exciting? Shit yes! There were flashy NBA-style dunks (as opposed to workman-like layups), an awesome alley-oop and a buzzer-beater three point shot, and all by the Kiwis.

A good proportion of the crowd stayed for the medal ceremony where for some reason we were told that the "Women of New Zealand basketball would be honoured". No such thing happened. We were then told to stand for the NZ anthem, which never played (thankfully, talk about a mood-killer).

Finally as I was packing my gear away the team walked past the media bench so I got to congratulate the team with a series of high fives, throwing all swine flu precautions to the wind.

As always, pics by Mike Roseingrave

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Yeah so, the netball. If Ruth Aitken was coaching the All Blacks what would be happening? Instead we get this:

After last night's 44-53 loss to slick World 7 outfit in Rotorua, Aitken has a wide range of Silver Ferns shortcomings to pick and choose from…

Perhaps Aitken's most pressing concern is how to instil some sort of self-belief in a Silver Ferns team that seems inexplicably at rock bottom when it comes to confidence.

I came home from watching District 9 (my word that's a good film!) turned on the television and saw the halftime score. The second best team in the world was losing by a large margin to a bunch of players scrambled together from ANZ Championship teams and with the coach from the second worst team in the competition.

Yeah, we're in trouble.

As much as I think Aitken should go, I am still against firing coaches in mid-season (no matter how well Bay of Plenty are doing in the rugby). So let's leave her there for the rest of the home-season and get someone new in for the overseas tour.

But who would be in line? Waimarama Taumaunu? Yvette McCausland-Durie? Noeline Taurua?

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I bet you thought no one could improve on Jandals. Well, Speedo just did.

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The other day I came across this interesting analysis of professional athletes in America and their political donating habits. Yes the sample size is small, but it does make for some interesting reading.

1) Of America's Big 3 sports, baseball and football are more Republican leaning while basketball is more Democratic leaning. The first obvious explanatory variable here is race, and in fact a quick search of WikiAnswers suggests that the percentage of black athletes is 83% in basketball, 65% in football, and 8% in baseball on the whole (although obviously the most relevant figures are for the actual celebrities in the database). The difference in racial composition between football and baseball is much greater than between football and basketball, and yet the campaign contributions of football players and coaches are much more similar to baseball athletes. This hints at some differences in sports culture independent of race.

2) Also consider the difference between the two elite country club sports, tennis and golf, which are both fairly homogeneous. (No Tiger, Venus, Serena or James in the list.) No surprise that golfers lean to the right, but I'm not sure I would have predicted the left-leaning of tennis. Granted tennis is only represented by 9 players....

4) Based on this sample, football players appear to be more politically engaged than other athletes. This is based on 3 measures of political engagement. (1) Their median contribution is higher than for any sport other than tennis (values on the right side of the figure). (2) They have the highest proportion of "non-partisan" contributors, that is contributors that made contributions to both parties. This suggests to me either some political strategy (buttering up both sides of the fence), or some issue- and candidate-based rather than party-based contributions. 40% of contributors were non-partisan for football compared to 34% for baseball, 28% for basketball, and 13% for golf. (3) Football players also had the highest percentage of contributions going to "Special Interests" which I'm assuming generally represent third party candidates or non-partisan ballot measures. This figure was 9.3% for football compared to 8.0% for baseball, 7.0% for basketball, and 3.7% for golf.

5) Sports media figures are fairly evenly represented by both sides of the political spectrum. Not sure what this suggests.

At the last US election ESPN and other sports media were interviewing players about who they would be voting for. I was surprised that many of the players, including those who came from poor neighbourhoods, were voting Republican so they could get tax breaks.

In fact it wouldn't surprise me to find that players were voting with their finances in mind. Especially with the factoid that players like the Yankees Alex Rodriguez only have to face six pitches to earn USD$100,000 (caution: that article may make you feel a little sick).

The eagled-eyed amongst you might have noticed that I removed #3 from the list above. It was this: 3) What? NASCAR drivers support Republicans?! I have to assume that this is sarcasm, after we had to suffer through Soccer Moms vs NASCAR Dads.

Naturally enough NASCAR Dads like guns, bibles, and cars; they hate gays, hippies, and proper use of English. So it stands that NASCAR drivers would quite similar.

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Of all of Mike's photos from the basketball, I really like this one: "Jawai! Quit dancing and get back in the game!"