Field Theory by Hadyn Green

It's 100 days before the Rugby World Cup, and yes, I do have something to say about it, but today… today I want to talk about underpants. Fucking uncomfortable underpants. Working, as I do, for a defender of consumer rights, I feel that I should not have to go about my day without adequate support and comfort. This is an injustice to areas I am rather fond of.

I don't think it's too much to ask that my underwear not cause me pain or require me to make all too public adjustments. I'm pretty sure my "junk" is the usual shape (why would the internet lie to me about that?) so this can't just be me, can it? Every pair of testicle-twisting and scrotum-pinching underpants I owned has now been identified and banished to being rags, so I have been living a comfortable life recently.

After weeding out the final pair, I noticed the trend, they were all Bendon. Even the pairs of rather fetching (you will have to believe me) Bendon Y-front trunks in a cool retro colorway. As a side note, even the Bendon pyjamas ripped within weeks, an event that caused an early-morning courier to get more of a view than either of us wished. Sorry bro.

As with the beginning of many ideas, I had been drinking. The pub conversation turned to this thought I had been batting around of writing about my uncomfortable underwear. I was surprised that the married (or formerly married) women of the group said that they bought all of their husband's underwear. Since leaving home, my underwear purchases have been solely made by me*, so this did make me wonder, how common is this phenomenon, and does it lead to more or fewer pairs of uncomfortable underwear.

I decided to find out a bit more about this, so I did a survey. It was a survey through twitter, which is far from a valid demographic spread, and only asking a few questions, to increase the chances of completion.

A quick note, in the relationship question there was a category " Married or living together long enough to say it's close enough". I will just refer to these people as "married" to make my life easier. Also all the questions were about adults, so buying underwear for your kids was not counted.

Here's the basic summary:

• Of the 223 responses, 56% were men. There was no cross dressers, so everyone was answering about underwear designed for their body.
• 72% of respondents always bought their own underwear and 3% never bought their own underwear. That 3% were all married men, except one… who was single, ladies.
• The majority (63%) of people were married, with 22% single and the remainder in other kinds of relationships.
• Just over half (56%) of the respondents have at least one pair of uncomfortable underwear. The rest were split 25%/20% between none and many pairs. Nice to know a quarter of you are living comfortably while a fifth of you are squirming.
• Only 11% of women had no uncomfortable underwear, compared to 35% of men. It should also be noted that the men who never bought their own underwear also didn't have any uncomfortable pairs.
• No man was the "primary underwear purchaser" of their household, compared to 23% of women. In fact 56% of men had never bought underwear for anyone else. In their defence 32% had bought underwear as a gift.

I had a sneaking suspicion that, as with shoes, women were more likely to have uncomfortable underwear (as one responder said, "we often buy them intentionally"). As it turned out 25% of women who bought all their own underwear had many pairs that were uncomfortable (compared to 7% of men, of which I would be one).

So what to make of this?

Roughly two thirds of people have at least one uncomfortable pair of underwear. And most of these are self-inflicted. Men, however, are fairly contented with their underwear choices. But it seems uncomfortable underwear is the norm and a bane that we may have to live with forever… except the single guy who doesn't buy his own underwear. He's got it sweet.

*With two exceptions: A very nice pair bought as a birthday gift and a joke sparkly g-string with a humorous sound effect generator in the crotch.

There's nothing better than the support of your peer group mixed with the support of your fan base. For Richter City to be nominated in the Wellington Sports Awards was pretty big in itself – an honour just to be nominated, as it were – but to win? And by a public vote? That's something else.

Nominated in the category for Sports Personality of the Year, Richter City Roller Derby took out the only publically-voted category. Up against injured Hurricane (and charity shaver), Piri Weepu, retired broadcaster Keith Quinn and Lower Hutt boxing "identity" Billy Graham (who they Richter City beat by just 60 votes), it was a good victory. And hopefully one that showed the audience that this might be a very valid sport in more ways than one. It's worth noting that in a World Cup year, no rugby player won any award.

Yes the category wasn't about athletic endeavour. But when the sport is still in its adolescence and the matches are still the club/league level, then it would be hard to argue for inclusion in Team of the Year. And for a league that is notorious for not wanting to single out individuals over the whole, it would be harder still to select a single skater for Sportswoman of the Year.

The adoration of fans is what validates a sport. The continued support, the shows of fanaticism (more and more people are showing up in team colours and costumes to bouts) and now winning a fan-based vote. This is a sport that is ready to be considered as just that, a sport.

On the other hand this may mean some things change for Richter City. The league knows it too. There will be more statistics from games released, (hopefully) more live streams of games, and the biggest change, fewer players swapping teams. The final point is still in discussions but the annual team realignment to keep parity may cease to allow veteran players to become team icons, with new rookie skaters filling any gaps. Even the tone of the posters this season is more classic boxing than pro-wrestling.

The awards are well-timed, with the second bout of the regular season happening this weekend. A derby bout really is an amazing experience, and I have seen some amazing feats of sport there. So please take this as a recommendation. Richter City – award winning.

So it's the episode where Bart is in a boy band (at the height of the boy band phenomenon and featuring N*Sync). Turns out the Navy is behind it and are using the band as part of a recruitment drive, seeding the songs with subliminal messages. It's part of a three-pronged approach: subliminal, liminal, and super-liminal. Super-liminal? "Hey you! Join the Navy!"

My point, and I still believe I have one, is "Hey you! Go drink some beer!"

In the last month or so a whole bunch of amazing beer has hit the market and if you don't try it you may be missing out on some amazing tastes. Especially because some of them may never be seen again; such is the mysteries of craft beer.

And seriously, isn't a good time for drink. Budget, tornadoes, stupid protests for a sign, post-rapture god-am-I-still-here blues.

Go have some Hop Zombie (Auckland launch tonight at Andrew Andrew). It's really bitter, but the huge amount of hops in it give the beer a crazy sweetness that is almost like a fruit salad. Luke from Epic (who makes the beer) says it might be because the oil from the hops coats your mouth and stops the bitterness from being so harsh. It's a weird taste and one you should really try.

More weirdness can be found inside a glass of Rescue Red Ale. It's a hoppy, red saison. And frankly I don't know what to make of it. Even after two glasses on Saturday. I think I like it, but it's such an odd combo that I want to reserve judgment until I have had a few more. It's called "Rescue" though for a reason, like Mash-Up below, this about brewers helping others. All proceeds from this beer go to Christchurch and Queensland flood charities. How can you NOT drink one?

Perhaps before the odd taste of Rescue Red though, you should drink a Mash-Up. If only perhaps for its clever name. It should definitely be your first beer of the evening. A nice fruity beer with a hoppy bite (all NZ Hops naturally), but very little body (which I don't like, but some others like) But the coolest thing about Mash-Up… no wait, the coolest thing is still the name… but one of the cool things about this beer is that it's the collaboration of a bunch of NZ brewers and the final act of Luke's NZ Craft Beer TV.

Craft Beer TV is one hell of a road trip and a self-funded online TV show meant to showcase New Zealand's craft brewers. From the bottles you find at the supermarket to the garage brewers making a single runs of some amazing beers and, let's be honest, some awful ones too. But's that's the adventure of creativity right?

And because you don't have enough adventures, go drink a Yeastie Boys' Rex Attitude. Sweet fucking Jesus this beer will sort you out. Best make it the last beer of the evening though, you won't taste much afterwards.

I feel ashamed that I have let such an interesting and frankly amazing sporting contest go by without mention. I naturally refer to the Breakers dominant season and their (don't jinx it don't jinx it don't jinx it) run at the championship.

So basketball fans I deeply apologise. I personally haven't watched much of the game since the mid-90s when Jordan was doing his thing and every kid second in school had a Charlotte Hornets' jacket or backpack or Starter cap. March Madness is interesting, but beyond that… I just can't find the game exciting. Which is cool, because I know (through emails) that some of you don't like the same sports that I do.

But less nostalgia and more "Holy fuck do you think they can do it?!"

I have no idea. The weight of evidence is on their side, but it's the play-offs and as we all know play-offs are crazy. For example a three game series means that a dominant team winning 2-0 has their victory celebrations in the opposition's home town. And really, is there anything to do in Cairns?

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After looking for that Starter cap image I managed to take a walk through the late 80s and early 90s on the internet. Man there were some crazy ads and clothing back then. For example what self-respecting fan would wear a shirt like this? (mildly NSFW, it won't get you fired but you might be slightly embarrassed if anyone sees it).

Anyway as today is essentially Friday, let's go with retro basketball videos, starting with my all-time favourite ad from the 90s.

And remember when Shaq's thing was breaking backboards? "Don't fake the funk on a nasty dunk", indeed.

And then, um, this.

And so here we are. It's the year of the Rugby World Cup, an event that a lot of people are looking forward to (haters to the back please) and that a lot of people worked hard to get to New Zealand in the first place. And after all of the bitching and moaning about stadiums and where we'll hold the after party it turns out one major city won't get the games it was supposed to.

This is nobody's fault of course. The earth moved and took the ground out from under the best laid plans.

What is odd is what the plans are for the games that were to be played in Lancaster Jade Christchurch Stadium. The organisers will "ensure as many pool matches as reasonably possible" be played in other South Island venues. And they possibly will with the smaller centres getting a few more games (and the places that were "snubbed" for games previously should be raising their hands).

But Auckland gets the quarterfinals. I can't figure that one out.

They take away the ONLY finals to be played in the South Island and not only move them out of the island, but to the other end of the North Island.

“Eden Park was the only logical alternative to stage two of the Tournament’s premier matches given the ground capacity and visitor accommodation demands associated with these quarter-final matches,” said RNZ 2011 CEO Martin Snedden.

And that is possibly true. Possibly. But both of them? After pool play the party moves to the North Island and the South Island can watch the rest on TV.

I know, I know. But we don't have much time to piss about with this stuff. I have been thinking about this since the day after the quake (when I turned to Amy and asked "who do you think is going to be the first person to mention the World Cup?" [Answer: John Campbell, later that night]). Decisions are going to be made quickly and they are going to hurt a lot of people, to get things done.

It doesn't mean we have to be happy about it.

The All Blacks have had a game added to the beginning of their season too. A benefit match for Christchurch against an opponent that is yet to be named.

If I may throw in my suggestion, why not Japan? In fact play two games, one here and one in Tokyo (or somewhere close to Tokyo if they are still suffering blackouts*), with the proceeds of each match going to help the people in that country.

"Yes, you're right Hadyn that's a great idea." Thank you.

*ironically