Field Theory by Hadyn Green

There are worse ways to spend your Saturday than drinking beer with friends. A few hundred friends. And to also have the chance to talk to the people who made the beer you're drinking is pretty cool too. It's like walking through an art gallery with the artists.

My beertinery ran like this: Yeastie Boys' Punkadiddle; Three Boys' Pineapple Lump Porter; Cock and Bull's Kumera Kawapeto; Emerson's Billy T Witt; Epic and Dogfish Head's Portamarillo; Epic's Barrel-Aged Stout; Renaissance's MPA; and a Yeastie Boys' Her Majesty 2010.

All of those were medal winners, some were trophy winners, none were bad.

My favourite, if I am forced to choose one, was Emerson's Billy T Witt (their festive brew made with kumara and kawakwa with a hint of pikopiko). It was made with almost the exact same ingredients as Cock and Bull's Kumera Kawapito (also in the festive brew category) except C&B added horopito instead of pikopiko and brewed a cloudy Hefe while Emerson's was a Belgian style. C&B's beer with its fizz and acidity caused me to describe it as being "like Dispirin", though I meant it nicely. Emerson's brew seemed to have a more rounded flavour and suited my taste buds perfectly. When Jed (he of the wonderful photos) mentioned to Richard Emerson of the small difference in the two beers' ingredients, Richard was surprised and said "but horopito stops the fermentation process!" Like I said, I love brewers.

I was also incredibly keen on the Punkadiddle. It is one of a growing range of so-called "session beers", beers with low alcohol levels so you can have one over lunch without falling asleep at your desk in the afternoon. Punkadiddle, which was only 3.7%, had a nice flavour to it, not too bitter, and felt like a beer I could easily drink all day without later waking up somewhere strange and without pants. It also received high praise from other brewers some of whom texted Stu (half of the Yeastie Boys) to say they were drinking it and it "was stunning". "Three separate messages praising the drinkability of my beer, from three of the brewers I respect the most, are better than any medal or trophy".

I also got to sit down with Sam Calagione (that's him above and yes he is wearing a Slow boat Records t-shirt), founder and President of Dogfish Head brewery in Delaware. A real character, Sam built the brewery with the help of friends, and in one case, stolen empty kegs. He's now fronting a new show for the Discovery Channel on craft beer and brewing around the world (called Brewed), and is a big part of the reason why he was in New Zealand.

Audio to go here soon!

I also talked briefly to Dave Bernard of Tuatara about an upcoming project that you'll learn about soon enough. Oooo mystery… actually it's not a mystery at all if you've spoken to me in the last month or so.

Now your job is go out and find these great beers (yes Tui is on the list again as Best NZ Draught) and drink them.

Auckland’s Pirate City are rocking the city this weekend. Normally this post would be all "hey, get along and see them!" except they don’t need your fucking pity.

The new venue is the YMCA on the corner of Pitt St and Grey’s Ave, handy walking distance to K Rd, is already close to sold out. The last tweet I saw had it at 100 door tickets left. This going to be a big bout. And the skaters are happy to be in town. No more skating around in the suburbs.

The fans are pretty stoked too. But what makes you a derby fan, and why do people get so passionate about it after only a few bouts.

Kaiya Irvine, a Dead Wreckoning supporter, says that she loves "the eclectic mix of people that it brings together – and the girls are hot! I tell [people who don't 'get' derby] they need to come and see for themselves how talented, athletic and amazing these women are. And once you get someone along to watch their first bout, they are hooked."

Kelly Barbeler is a massive fan of Wreckoning skater Scheisse Minnelli, "because she manages to make kicking some serious derby ass look easy, and her antics keep things interesting (looking cool as a cucumber as she glides around the rink, dancing her heart out, and passing the opposing team" (However it was Scheisse who asked the questions for me so there may be some survey bias here).

Neither Kelly nor Kaiya would care if their favourite skaters changed teams, they would still follow them.

So why do people enjoy Roller Derby? Don't ask stupid questions. Why do people like any sport? They want to see amazing feats of athleticism performed by people who, given time and training and support, could be them.

But here's the other thing, no one watches derby alone.

MC Mic Riot said that when he first went to derby, he didn't quite know what to expect and didn't know anyone. But the community of the sport in undeniable, and he found himself easily fitting in as a member of another small sport that people don't always take seriously: wrestling.

While some sports fans are strikingly elitist in their attempts to explain how little you really know about the sport; derby fans fall over themselves to help you understand and get you up to play so you can all yell along together. And that's what I like about roller derby.

Pirate City's 2010: A Skate Odyssey.
21st August
There's roughly 100 tickets left for doorsales. No Punching.

It was a big night that’s for sure. But it was also a tipping point. Over the last couple of years the Auckland and Wellington leagues have been developing roller derby in New Zealand and their work has paid off. At the end of last year Auckland’s Pirate City travelled to Wellington to play Richter City in New Zealand’s first inter-league bout in front of over 1,700 fans. On Saturday there were over 3,500 fans.

Let’s put that number in perspective. Wellington has a population of roughly 400,000. The average 2010 attendance at ANZ netball championship games in New Zealand was roughly 3,146 (in Australia it’s 3,114). The maximum seating capacity of TSB arena is 4,430 when the seating is fully extended (which the roller derby can’t have because the track is too big).

And then there was the media coverage. My last post railed against the awful reporting of derby as simply girls with funny names in costumes. None of that happened after Saturday. Even One News’ report was focussed more on sport than spectacle. The cameraman even busted out his skates for a few rolling shots (though they didn’t use Rebecca who was actually the reporter there in the night).

The DomPost and the Sunday Star Times were there too. It’s funny, and this isn’t a criticism, but the DomPost’s photos remind me of Jed and Mike’s shots from the first bout. Practice does make perfect, just take a look:

All of Mike's shots from the night are available at his site, and Jed's are on his Flickr page. If you want a print I'm they can sort something out

And now, where to? Thankfully the game was close. This season the teams were reshuffled to make up for the loss of some veterans from last season. The parity meant Saturday night’s bout was a game of see-sawing leads, big jams of massive points and fantastic pack play.

The step up in skill form last year was clear. The blockers had a better plan and the teams had more awareness of the situation (speed up if your jammer is off the track, stop the jam before the opposition can score points). It all came together.

Even the final jam was tense. Down by 20 points Smash Malice takes the lead jammer position through Braxton Kicks. Braxton was close to not skating, her sister was giving birth that day and she came straight from the hospital. The lead jammer controls when the jam is called off and with only 30secs on the clock she had time to rack up a huge score (when the game clock runs out the jam goes the full two minutes or until it’s called off).

Suddenly the good work of Brutal Pagent’s blockers fell apart and Braxton was slices through the defence at will. But then confusion, Braxton couldn’t tell if her bench was yelling at her to call it off. In a confusing end to the game Braxton called off the jam (or at least it looked like she made the gesture) and then we waited for the scores. Malice 103, Pageant 125.

The crowd couldn't have asked for a more exciting bout. The skaters were also smart enough to realise they had an opportunity. When the scores were close early on, Skändal Läss and Tuff Bikkies lined up as opposition jammers, but from the commentary box we couldn't see them. Because they had decided on a life-saver drill to start. Both skaters lying on the ground, so the refs joined them. The crowd went mental. But you better believe that as soon as they were up it was straight back to the competition.

And it's that entertainment value that will hopefully keep the big crowds coming back and the big sponsors bringing in the money.

I have always described Roller Derby as a cross between NASCAR and rugby. The physical contact and team tactics are clear and the speed too. This is not a game for wimps. Nor is it a game for posers. Spend more time on your costume than your technique and you'll get flattened.

So imagine my surprise to read in the Capital Times: "Look out for skimpily clad roller skating girls hitting the streets of Wellington". Don't get me started on the picture they used. Are we not past this stage of derby reporting? The "oh look how quirky, girls on skates" needs to change to "here's a really interesting sport".

I'm interested to see how Paul Henry faired with Thigh Voltage and Ruby Deathskates on Breakfast this morning. Especially because TV has a moustache on her helmet. (Turns out it went ok, you have to skip past the guy whose wife slept with their exchange student).

Sure, there is an element of, let's call it "theatre" about derby. The costumes and pro-wrestling-esque names. There's also the human interest aspect bundled up under the disgusting title of "girl power". Then there's the intense skill involved in hitting someone with your upper body and keeping your balance on wheels while your moving in a pack and thinking about how you're going to get your jammer through the pack.

You can watch it as a purist and enjoy the tactics and skill, and you can watch as a screaming fan waiting for the big plays. Just like, and this is the kicker, any other sport.

Every sport can be reported on with a human interest angle, every sport has controversies and personalities, every sport has specific training and injuries. But for some reason not every sport is patronised to like derby is.

Anyway this is all preamble before I hit you with:

Bigger, better and badder than last year, this shit will (if you'll excuse the phrasing) explode! And remember if you're stuck in Auckland and are feeling bad about missing out on this awesome event, sucks to be you check out the Pirate City Rollers.

I don't watch cycling outside of the Olympics, so I was somewhat confused about the whole Contador-passes-Schleck thing. First I was confused because Rich Irvine explained it to me as Contador "attacked" Schleck and I thought it was another head butt incident. But even when I got the details I had to wonder what the deal was.

Before the cycling folks get yelling, I understand that there are unwritten rules of sportsmanship in the sport and that there are certainly examples you can point out in sports that I follow. But at some point it's two guys on bikes, and when one guy's bike breaks, the other sails past thinking "Fuck I'm glad my bike held together. C'mon baby hold together".

There's sportsmanship and then there's winning; losers complain about sportsmanship. Sportsmanship is a layer we place over sport to make it less ruthless. Yet the rules are unwritten because who in their right mind would ever enforce them?

And at certain points in the game, whatever game it is, sportsmanship is forgotten. While a team might kick the ball out to allow an injured opponent time to be attended to, late in the game suddenly it's an opponent that's one man down.

The problem with unwritten rules is that they are unwritten. No one can check if you really broke them or not (usually). After all we all have differing ideas about how we should get along in life, why think that we will all have the same ideas about sportsmanship.

For example, I believe that if you're winning by a substantial and unlikely to be overtaken margin that you "pull your starters" and "run the clock". Others say that's for pussies and you should "keep the foot on the throat".

But the more of these unwritten rules you have the sillier a sport becomes. Take away too much of the randomness provided by the laws of physics and you may as well hold a 100m footrace instead.

And now, deep breaths cyclists, the floor is yours.