Field Theory by Hadyn Green

I'm not a football fan. I mean, I support the Phoenix when they play and I enjoy the World and European Cups when they roll around. But, I don't follow a team, I don't understand the tactics to any deep level, and I go so far as to hate the "big money wins" structure of the Premier League (though as you may know I love the Champions League structure).

But what I really like about all sport is the ability for people to be able to see important events. Especially when those events are shown on international television. This is why I supported the petition to get the FA Cup final broadcast in New Zealand. Without getting back into a large copyright debate, it seems an odd thing to do for such a popular event.

I actually remember watching an FA Cup final when I was a kid. We were at my uncle's house and him and my dad had gotten up to watch it. In fact it may have been the first time I had watched any football. I have a vague recollection that Manchester United may have been playing (meaning it was possibly this one).

I imagine many of you have similar memories. Maybe not of football, but of getting up or being gently woken by parents, to sleepily walk downstairs and see something happening live on the far side of the globe. For most of us this was our first experience that the entire world doesn't go to sleep when we do.

The internet tends to cover that nicely these days. But even now, setting the alarm for 2am so you've got time to brew some coffee before the game starts, settling onto the couch under a duvet, having the less-interested members of the household (children, pets, etc) fall asleep on your lap, which means you have to cheer silently; it all still feels special.

It would seem wrong to get the kids up to watch a laptop. So while I doubt the power of an online poll, it's at least worth a shot.

And while I'm on football, aren't those Nike uniforms lovely? New Zealand must be a dream gig for Nike: "we'll take 10 plain white and 10 plain black and whatever colours you got for a goalie...nah the subs can bring their own gear". And these ones are made from milk bottles too. Eight per jersey or something, it's like an entry in the Wearable Art Awards.

So where have I been? To be honest, at home on the couch relaxing for the last two weeks. It was my "between job holiday". Yep I got a new job, I am now the Technology Writer at Consumer.

Before you ask, no, I'm probably not going to get a free iPad (unless some lovely person out there wants to send me one).

So far it's a fun new gig and wonderfully different from the public sector. As a simple example our browser is Chrome (possibly because it scored highest in our browser test) and not IE6. The public sector does have it's charms and it's downsides but in general I'm just stoked to be able to say that I am now a professional writer.

In the meantime feel free to send that iPad to Consumer NZ c/o Hadyn.

It must be written somewhere that Rugby League must be tougher, badder and generally worse than all other sports. Rugby players go out drinking and there's an altercation. Well league players are going to smash a few tables and throw in some sexual assault, maybe even a bit of public urination. You have a bit of a dust up on the field, league players make sure someone looses a tooth. Heck, the players keep inventing tackles that have to be banned so they don't kill each other.

The Melbourne Storm have now shown that they can not only be bad guys on the field and in the bars, but also in the financial world. This isn't your Daddy's salary cap breach. There was no "here's a very well paid job for your girlfriend", or money paid to local businesses to pay back to the players.

Instead it seems they paid for things they already had. The "marquee scam" was intelligent in that the payments were small but were paid every home game. Moreover this is a simple fraud where money just "disappears". So the only people who need to be involved are the players, management and a bunch of accountants. I wonder if the accountants get a pay rise for these scams too.

Perhaps what is most interesting is that it happened at all.

Firstly, the NRL is a pretty even competition. Apart from the Broncos and Bulldogs (both of whom have had dodgy salary cap records in the past) and recently the Storm, most teams have had a time at the top of the competition, even our Warriors have been a formidable team (and that was before we cheated on the cap). Of course fans prefer a winner so there is a financial reward for winning a lot. Crowd attendances had bottomed out in 2004 at under 9,000 per game. But fans are fickle, and attendance doesn't mean lack of support, just ask Canterbury. Though it does mean dollars.

But the main reason I am surprised by this is that I ‘m fairly sure you can get around the salary cap without loads of deception, conspiracy and cheating. In the US teams restructure players contracts every year in order to move money away or on to the salary cap. The money never actually goes away but it can be deferred into the future. Far into the future.

Now Melbourne loses its two championships, it's prize money, and any competition points from this season. I'm sure there'll be fines and criminal investigations as well, because it is fraud. The punishment I would like to see is making the franchise get under the cap right now, like before the next game. Suddenly the market will be flooded with talented players and a few teams who may have cap room and a few injuries (coughWarriorscough) could get a 1-year contract bargain.

Easter is over and that means it's officially time to get back to rugby. You might remember rugby as that sport we've heard nothing about for the last few months, while we enthralled with the cricket.

I went to the Caketin on Good Friday for what I thought would be another poorly attended fairly dull game of rugby. Instead what I saw was a big crowd at full volume who got a humdinger of a game.

The boos and anger that flowed out of the crowd at Canterbury's final try (and it was a try, see Mike's awesome shot below) was some of the best crowd noise I've heard. Previous best include the Tall Blacks beating Australia; the Pulse winning their first game (and possibly their only win the way they're going) and, of course, the Phoenix.

Highlight of the night was a group of young guys who had banners saying "Hey Dan [Carter]" with a picture of a hand pulling "the fingers" and another depicting Dan Carter as an anthropomorphised penis. Satire is far from dead.

I imagine the crowd numbers this weekend will spike around the country. It was a holiday weekend, the weather was mild, and the (NZ) match ups were against local teams or scary South Africans. For example the Blues match (in half a stadium) was sold out.

And I assume that this is where the Super 14 becomes interesting, in week… um… eight. Wow, eight already? Also, I had to go look that up.

I did feel a little like I had started watching a TV show in the middle of the season. "Who's that?" "I thought they had that guy? Oh he left?" "So is the number 8 still good? No, ok"

In the meantime, the World Cup pre-ticket sales campaign continues to be news for some reason. @dubdotdash's bootleg version of the ad highlight's something interesting:

There is a lack of New Zealand in the ad, meaning that it's probably shown overseas and that they're going for more of a "world party" theme than a "come to "New Zealand we're pretty" theme. Or perhaps it's more of a "don't put any more pressure on the All Blacks than we need to" thing.

Don't mention the World Cup!

Why are you complaining about The Feelers performing the official song for the rugby world cup? Because The Feelers are a bit shit, radio-friendly nothing-rock. But isn't that why they got the gig?

Hire the Mint chicks for the same job and there might be some awkward emails with the IRB. Perhaps we needed to get those Finn boys involved, like last time:

I suppose the main reason people are voicing their annoyance is that they aren't Feelers fans. Announce that it's someone else and the reaction would be the same (though possibly at a different level and from differing quarters). Because no matter the song or the artist it's never going to satisfy all of the people all of the time.

This is now a meme: Any new announcement regarding the Rugby World Cup… We hate it.

"Won't somebody think of the art?!" We have cried recently. And to briefly generalise, the criers tend to be people who have also complained that rugby will be on TV and they shall be forced to read books. Meaning, ironically, that they will be largely spared The Feelers in any case.

Personally I don't really care about the song either way. As long as all the teams are taken care of and the games are good, I'll be happy. If people can get too and from the games with relative ease, then I'll be happier.

Whether they have a catchy pop song (with a side of artistic merit) and an uplifting message to listen to before each broadcast (and possibly piped into the stadiums) is very, very far down my list. So far down in fact that if they don't actually pick one and are forced to put Nature's Best on a loop, I will be happy.

Hey, at least then the crowd will be singing.