Random Play by Graham Reid

First the good news for people like me: there is a cure for tinnitus. They are a trio from Japan called Boris and they play at such volume that your tinnitus will disappear in an instant.

The bad news is you'll be stone deaf. But you will have had a very good time.

The little that I knew of Boris before I saw them in a small, well attended room under the Opera House in Sydney -- where they have been invited by the Vivid Live curators Lou Reed and Laurie Anderson -- was that they had released about 20 albums or something, were kind of space drone rock and that . . .

Well, it is the first concert I have worn earplugs to. And they were being provided on the night.

That said, when Boris (A double-necked guitar! Cool!!) embarked on their low rolling sonic space flights over repeated guitar figures they were hypnotic (and you could listen without earplugs) and exotically mesmerising.

Then there was the other that I dared listen to in blasts of maybe five seconds at a time which was bruisingly effective --- but almost guaranteed to ensure hearing loss or impairment.

I have a bit of both already so was happy to shove the plugs in. I liked them -- a lot.

Curiously Boris played after their almost polar oppostite: Rickie Lee Jones who brought boho beat, quasi-folk-jazz and an apparently cheerfully under-rehearsed and spontaneous trip down her (slightly damaged) memory lane.

She too has been invited by the Lou'n'Laurie team -- who are in town for a fortnight so you can catch up with Lou doing Tai Chi lessons in a park and so on. But at a press conference notable for Reed's dry humour, it was conceded the loud music was Lou's idea and the quiet came from Laurie.

There is plenty of loud music -- but also a night of quieter sounds (Blind Boys of Alabama and others).

And, as I mentioned previously, Metal Macine Trio played live on Sunday night. (For other details see here)

I'm going to pop along and see Lou do his radio show with Hal Willner, catch up with Laurie giving a talk on something, poke my nose into the photo exhibition Lou has curated (all free) and a few other things.

It's drizzling today but I'm still up for Cockatoo Island and the art installations -- but much as I liked Boris I doubt I'll go see them again tonight. Might buy an album though, then I can adjust the volume.

One of the delights of this trip has been meeting an English journalist flown here to cover the festival: he has no idea who Lou, Laurie, Boris, Rickie Lee at all are and his only knowledge of Australia is of blond girls posing in some exotic location.

He's off surfing at Bondi today (another first for him) but I thought: how refreshing it must be to have absolutely no preconceptions about any artist and just take them and their work at face value.

On the back of that press conference, maybe you'd take Lou Reed to be an especially droll stand-up comedian.

Finally: I mentioned the YHA I am staying in last post and someone baulked at the cost. May I say this, this isn't some threadbare youth hostel. It opened brand new six months ago, has superb facilties . . . two kitchens that I can see, very large and comfortable lounge, at least a dozen new internet portals (on which you can catch up with "news" from home) . . . and of course this Big Dig archeological site which is in progress.

History right under your feet.

I maintain that given its location -- four minutes to the MCA, five to Circular Quay -- it is pretty reasonably priced. Seems spurious to make a comparison -- as someone did -- with what they paid somewhere in '93! (That would be . . . 17 years ago!)

But I did enjoy the comment that maybe I was suggesting -- via the cost per night basis here and Wellington -- that Sydney was twice the value of the capital.

Hmmm. I wonder if Lou'n'Laurie, Boris, Rickie Lee, My Brightest Diamond, Marc Ribot and David Hidalgo and others are all playing the capital in the next week or so?

So, a genuine question: What do people think you should realistically expect to pay per night in a state of the art youth hostel right in the centre of a huge city? I'd be curious to know.

About 300 drachmas?

Unfortunately I'm not going to be in Sydney for the Lou Reed/Laurie Anderson conceit which is concert for dogs. The idea is that the "music/performance" is pitched beyond human hearing so only dogs will, like, kinda get it.

This raises a number of issues, not the least -- and I put on my critic hat at this point -- how will we know if it is any good? Will a dog-critic which can type post a review on the internet?

Will it be the most exceptional thing since Wagner first mounted (doggy style analogies may follow, be warned) his Ring Cycle thing, or will it be . . . hmm . . . a dog of a concert?

I won't know, it's a bit later next week and I will be gone by then.

But here I am in Sydney with a wonderful view of the Opera House from my room (more of that in a minute) and tomorrow Lou'N'Laurie -- the happy couple who have curated the Vivid Festival -- will be appearing at a press conference, and later I will be seeing Lou as part of the Metal Machine Trio which will improv around the idea of his terrific Metal Machine Music album.

There will also be noise-core Boris from Japan, Rickie Lee Jones, photos of old New York (old being maybe the 70s?) and something involving Lou and Hal Wilner.

Frankly, and if I sound indifferent that isn't the case, I can't wait.

I have always loved Sydney in the face of Melbourne's artsy side -- because Sydney has art to burn. Today I spentn time at some galleries in Dank Street, tomorrow I'll trawl the MCA, maybe go to Cockatoo Island for the Big Bienniale Art there, see some small galleries . . . and perhaps even check out Mike Nock who is playing.

And more.

But no, this isn't what I call envy writing: I mentioned my room with a view.

I am at the Sydney YHA on Cumberland St (the classsic old Australian Hotel is right next door - and still does big fat pizzas) and my modest but seviceable double room (with ensuite and a view) costs $A159 a night.

Affordable -- and also historic because it is built on acknowledged Aboriginal land and large parts which are open to the guests are archeological sites in progress.

That's very good value on all levels of cultural and fiscal importance.

Tonight a few of us are going to see the illuminations over the Opera House and up Macquarie St, then dinner at Neil Perry's Spice Temple which I have previously poked my nose into and had a cocktail at, but haven't actually tucked in at.

Maybe tomorrow when I report in again it will be envy writing?

Right now though the YHA (here) comes highly recommended for travellers on a budget like me.

It's within a dog whistle of the MCA and the Opera House.

But: I did not abandon Elsewhere. Heaps of new music, interviews and articles have been added since you last looked -- and From the Vaults here delivers everything from bubblegum pop to soul searching, gay-pride hip-hop and . . just stupid stuff too.

Over and out from Sydneyside.

Because I've spent the past week immersed in a collection of essays and rants entitled Bubblegum Music is the Naked Truth, I'm a bit bemused but increasingly annoyed by the babble from adults about tweenie star Justin Bieber.

I heard him on radio dismissed with the self-damning line from a commentator, “I'd never heard of him until the other day”.
Well, isn't that true of everything? You have to hear about something a first time.

But the subtext here is, “He can't be any good because I haven't heard of him”.

Hmmm.

I don't come here to praise or bury Bieber --- but only to defend the right of kids to scream at whomever they want. Beatlemania was fun, if deafening, and Bieber-fever seems much the same: if you a 13-year old girl.

Bieber seems cute and smart and fun – and if he has a song called Baby (with Ludacris) here and another called Eeenie Meenie then his is a grand tradition which goes back through Yummy Yummy, Sugar Sugar, Do Wah Diddy Diddy, Da Doo Ron Ron and many more songs with such titles.

Add your own alliterative titles and reductive lyrics from the catalogue of the Ramones if you will.

To hear people on talkback – or whatever the one is which pretends to be slightly more highbrow that that -- bang on about what a no-talent this guy is just makes me angry. Then again – because my current reading also includes the David (Partridge Family) Cassidy autobiography Get Happy, which is anything but – I am right now listening to a three record set entitled SuperBubble (pink cover, The Turtles! Tommy Roe!! The Ohio Express!!!) which I scored at Real Groovy last year for $5.

So maybe this disqualifies me from being an adult and having an adult approach to vacuous and disposable pop. But here's the thing: love or hate bubblegum – and I am not disposed to much of it myself – it proved much more durable than a lot of other music of its period. Like gum, it sort of stuck to the bottom of your shoe/brain.

We'd be unwise to dismiss Bieber in the same breath as others who got screamed at by young girls (and boys) because in that list you'd start with Frank Sinatra and have to include John Lennon, Mick'n'Keith, Scott Walker, Madonna and many more who had creditable careers when the tumult and the shouting died.

And as my borrowed book – subtitled The Dark History of Prepubescent Pop, from the Banana Splits to Britney Spears -- tells me, there is a lot more going on in this music than just stripping pop to its essence, laying in simple lyrics (you think Chewy Chewy is simple, it's about fellatio, right?) and keeping it short so it gets more radio play.

And it is a dark world in many ways: as I am sure I have mentioned before here I once interviewed tween idol Tiffany who was 16 at the time – and suing her parents.

I also spent a day with with the young Billie (later to become Billie Piper) and she was lovely – although I had more in common with her dad of course who was trying to negotiate the difficult waters for his daughter. (She later married a much older DJ, so I guess he failed.)

So maybe someone should slip Bieber a copy of the Cassidy book by way of saying “Beware, Dangerous Rapids Ahead”. That would be useful than banging on about what a no-talent he is (and he isn't, actually.)

So I'm glad Bieber came here and flushed out the grumpy old buggers (who have forgotten what it is like to be young) and let girls scream their lungs out.

They are only young once and soon enough they will have to be dealing with the Resource Management Act, whether those godawful sheds are “historic” and just what a tax form is like. Boring adult stuff in other words.

I'm not saying we need more Biebers – like John Cale said when asked if there as too much evil in the world: “There's exactly the right amount” – but as the great cosmic wheel turns he's done nothing so far but bring fun into the lives of kids – and perhaps gouged their wallets a little.

No harm done. Nothing to see here, folk. Just move along.

Enough of that: Anyone care to stab at a translation of this? It was the opening paragraph of NZPA report which appeared in the Herald the other day and, to me, shows just what happens when spoken sports vernacular is put into print.
“New Zealand's Terenzo Bozzone was too quick on the half-marathon leg to secure victory in the Texas half-ironman in Galveston yesterday”.

If you are confused by how come he was “too quick . . . to secure victory” so was I. It means he won. Hmmm.

Finally: No bubblegum pop at Elsewhere right now (well, maybe just a little under From the Vaults here which is an ever-expanding section of one-off songs with a background story) but there is Frank Zappa reading The Talking Asshole section from William Burrough's The Naked Lunch.

And swags of new music reviewed here including a new album by Roky Erickson who lost his marbles in the late Sixties but is back with Okkervil River. It's very moving. So maybe that restores some music.cred?

Oh-oh. Time to turn the album over. Cool, Yummy Yummy Yummy opens side two.

Because it has been a couple of months since I last posted here I feel slightly embarrassed and so am making a cautious return. But I got busy . . . with life, actually.

I went to Australia for a wee bit, had some paying work back home which was very time consuming but enjoyable, went to Rotorua and Waiheke, the former for a holiday and the latter for a commissioned story.

And I also did not much. Except see friends, go to the movies, read books, watch Two and Half Men and The Big Bang Theory (our only appointment viewing), listen to a lot of music . . .

The odd things is when you go away or get diverted from the Pressing Issues Of The Day it gets harder and harder to return to them. Anything I thought of commenting on hardly seemed worth it 24 hours later.

I still regularly read newspapers and blogs and wondered to myself what I might add to any discussion about Mr Brownlee (that the hole he was in was getting deeper and they hadn't even begun digging yet?); or the mini-crisis in the Destiny Church (pay them off?) and the major crisis in the Catholic Church (pay them o . . . oh).

I was going to mention how we play a game at home now when the news comes on which is “crime or the weather?” and wait to see just how predictable the coverage will be. Or which “items” are just promos for programmes or the website.

Over Easter we sensed a little disappointment in some media that there weren't more people killed on the roads because . . . well, because it makes for a better story with more graphic images and hand-wringing?

I did wonder aloud to friends what would happen if we had no accidents or traffic queues over Easter, and no garden centres opening? Would that mean there would be nothing for television to report? Perhaps. Although there's always the weather.

But as I say, I was largely out of all such discussions: like that guy who rowed from Australia to New Zealand (hmm, forgotten his name already sorry). He said he'd been reading newspapers to catch up. I wonder how long that lasted.

Of course I was engaged by life on many other levels (notably learning my way around an Apple Mac) and currently just weep for Thailand (and our typically cursory news coverage which lacks depth and background but is short not images of riots and gunshots of course).

On Sunday we went to what we call “Rocket Park” in Mt Albert to celebrate Thai New Year and there was a joyous atmosphere – at the same time as Bangkok's streets were running red and under clouds of tear gas.

The irony wasn't lost on many I am guessing.

I've previously commented on the paucity of news coverage of Thailand and why it should be better. The size of local Thai community at Rocket Park would be one reason alone. But I won't go into that one again.

So here is my belated return – and my absence, I am certain, has not been a worry to anyone. There are hundreds of better and more informed and engaged bloggers not to mention news outlets and so on.

But I would like to mention one thing: it is a “thank you”. A fortnight ago my book The Idiot Boy Who Flew (below) won the Whitcoull's Reader's Choice prize at the Cathay Pacific Travel Media Awards.

That award was by public vote and I want to say a sincere thanks to all the Public Address readers who ticked the box on my behalf. The book, ironically, still isn't available at Whitcoulls – but of course, if you are interested, it is through Public Address Books.

And finally: Elsewhere keeps me busy when I am not otherwise busy or snoozing in front of Oprah. Every week I am posting about eight to 10 album reviews, I have instigated a From the Vaults section for one-off songs, there are articles on culture and the arts . . . and much more.

So maybe I am kinda busy after all, and engaged by life on many levels.

Just less and less by what passes for “news”.

As with Fox Network talking heads, newspaper columnists and a few real people, my world came to a sudden halt when Tiger Woods made his apology.

This was an event of such great import it pushed other pressing issues -- like, whatever happened to Paris Hilton? Or even Perez Hilton? -- right to the back of the brain.

I don’t know much about golf but I know what I like -- and it isn’t apologies that much actually.

What I like is following what others say about them.

Frankly, I’m with Chris Rattue on this, although the Herald also had a nicely sceptical piece by Mike Bianchi.

But I really did stumble at the article about Tony Veitch that the Herald on Sunday ran here.

Not because I care a jot about what Veitch says or thinks, but in the course of the article Matt Nippert -- and maybe this was his little joke? -- spoke to “Victoria University senior lecturer and celebrity apology expert Sean Redmond” for a comment.

You can be a “celebrity apology expert” in the 21st century? In a university?

But Dr Redmond is indeed a senior lecturer (in film) at Victoria’s School of English, Film, Theatre and Media Studies and at some point I hope to find the time to read his research into this area . . . And there will be some.

This year, according to his profile at the Victoria website, he “has been appointed launch coordinator and editor of a new Routledge journal, Celebrity Studies, with the first edition slated for 2010. For the first issue he is writing an article on the celebrity power of Barack Obama, titled Obamamania: Here to Save the World . . .

“Sean's research interests are in stars and celebrities, film and television genre, particularly science fiction, horror, and comedy, black and Asian cinema, film and television authorship (particularly the work of Wong Kar-wai, Takeshi Kitano, and Kathryn Bigelow), and whiteness and representation. He has a background in cultural studies and a developing interest in phenomenology.”

It seemed a pity then that given the depth of his studies and impressive breadth of his interests Dr Redmond’s only comment which appeared in the Veitch article was, “Tiger was different from Veitch. At least Tiger looked ashamed”.

I agree. Tiger did look ashamed -- but then who wouldn’t in similar circumstances? Well, Veitch according to an expert.

But the world turns and we must look ahead.

There will be another celebrity apologising soon -- I guess Dr Redmond hopes so, anyway -- and right now I am rather taken with more important matters, like that downhill luge thing where two people get on at the same time.

The luge seems to me a stupid thing anyway but can you believe that at some point someone thought, “Hey, what say we add one more . . .”

And lo, it became a Winter Olympics sport.

We live in a constantly amusing world, one where you get to laugh out loud at . . . Well, even serious things.

About a week ago the Herald had a front page story in which John Key said he wanted New Zealand to become an international financial hub specialising in the administration of overseas pension funds.

I think I read that around the same time I saw a re-run on Sky of the controversial but compelling doco The Great New Zealand Fishing Scandal by Guye Henderson.

Put those two together with the recent episode of Martin Clune‘s Reggie Perrin (episode three) in which Reggie delivered this (as I remember it) classic line to a bunch of school children: “We don’t actually make anything in this country, but we know a man who does. So when we want something I e-mail him and he sends it over . . .”

If you didn't laugh you would cry, just like Tiger didn't.

Right now at Elsewhere: New music from Jackie Bristow, Shearwater, the Haints of Dean Hall, the Antlers, Peter Gabriel, Scalper, Gil Scott-Heron, A Mountain of One and the Eels -- plus some classic rhythm and blues box sets, a collection by Freda (Band of Gold) Payne and more. Plus the Velvet Underground on DVD, some excellent Bargain Buy suggestions (Television’s Marquee Moon remastered and expanded for less than $10!). That’s all here.

There’s also a whole new section called From the Vaults in which I haul out a strange, classic or neglected song with a story behind it. That is here..

Oh, and under My Back Pages I have brought to the top my brief encounter with Doug Feiger from the Knack when they came to New Zealand at the height of their brief career. Feiger died about 10 days ago.

Lots to read, listen to and watch. Enjoy, and sign up if you care to. It is free here and the weekly giveaway to subscribers will be done later today.