Random Play by Graham Reid

The other night I had a drink -- seven or eight actually -- with Craig Marriner, the award-winning author of Stonedogs and whose new book Southern Style I have just started to read. Craig is a helluva nice guy, very much what you see is what you get and no bullshit. It’s refreshing.

I first met Craig about four years ago when Stonedogs came out. It seemed at the time that no one other than me had read it. I was keen to do an interview with this guy who had appeared out of nowhere -- Rotorua by way of Western Australia, London and Eastern Europe actually -- and had written a sprawling, slightly over-written, first novel which took in heaps of dope, the seamy side of Roto-Vegas and some swerving conspiracy theories.

I liked his book (with reservations) -- and I really liked him when we met for a beer and an interview. It was a lot of fun and he asked as many questions as I did, so it was a conversation more than an inquisition.

What I didn’t know until the other night was I was the first person Craig had been interviewed by, and he said he was relieved I’d made it easy for him. Which is why we caught up for drinks now that he is back from London for a few weeks to talk up Southern Style and take his lovely Lebanese girlfriend around the country.

In the course of the long night I also ended up talking with one of Craig’s cousins and what came up was -- almost inevitable these days -- America.

By and large Kiwis don’t much like America because there seems to be this equals sign between the words “America” and “George W Bush”.

This is nonsense of course and while chatting about American politics I always remind people that America suffered an horrendous attack on its homeland -- September 11 2001, if you have only just tuned in -- and that in the rhetoric over Afghanistan and Iraq and so on that fact is often forgotten. By us, but not by Americans I have met on my journeys across that vast and diverse country.

Like us if it had happened here, they haven’t forgotten about the 3000 dead in the blink of an eye and the attack on New York, and their arms of government. Now it seems that the White House only just missed out on having an aircraft coming through the windows of the Oval Office.

It was interesting therefore to hear both of these points (the casual demonisation of Bush and the terrorist attack that spawned these troubled times) in John Campbell’s excellent coup of an interview with British PM Tony Blair.

I think it is something worth remembering when we quite carelessly adopt an anti-American position and blather on about Middle America’s lack of political sophistication and a world view (which are both true, of course).

Of course 9/11 has nothing to do with Iraq. But before making blanket statements like “I don’t like America” -- which I frequently hear people say -- or insisting that George W Bush is the worst thing that has happened in the past five years (if you live under Mr Mugabe’s whip you might have another view) there might just be time for a brief intake of breath.

Apropos of very little I’m going to mention a couple of other things: my “new and improved” my
link website is really going off and getting great feedback. I’m thinking of getting some ads onto it -- tobacco companies don’t seem to be getting much profile these days, huh? [Joke]

Anyway, I seem to have become a first stop for people wanting travel advice. I am only too happy to give this as and where I can, and if I am not too busy doing other things (like drinking with Craig Marriner then recovering the next day).

And I am a little busy at the moment.

Getting out with Craig was good break from the story I am working on for the Listener. I have spent far too much time looking at photographs of people tortured and killed by thugs in the employ of the Chinese government.

Talking to Keith Richards tonight (true) will be a welcome diversion also.

Elsewhere: Tomorrow I am on Radio Live talking about travel (New York, have a pen handy for some tips on reasonably priced places to stay). That will be at some time on Kerry Smith’s afternoon programme (it’s a pre-record so I have no idea what time it’ll run).

Then on Sunday at 3pm I am speaking/lecturing/talking at the Auckland City Art gallery about the link between music and the visual arts in Britain in the 60s.

This is the first of two hour-long sessions, this one being wittily entitled “The Route to 66” and looks at what was happening until the end of that pivotal year. The following Sunday I’ll pick it up from there and get into the rise of art rock and America striking back in 67 and beyond. Should be fun, and it’s free.

And then one morning next week I am speaking to students at Mainz on the rather lofty-sounding topic of my own making: Alternative Methods of Marketing Music in the World of MySpace.

Wonder what they’ll make of the wind-up gramophone I intend to take along?

First stunned silence then a well-rehearsed spontaneous haka greeted the announcement that the plucky Auckland band Fingerpuller had scored a long awaited medal for New Zealand at the annual South By SouthWest music festival in Austin, Texas this week.

On the final night of the week-long festival which draws performers from all over the world, Fingerpuller played to a capacity crowd of 85 at Joe’s Dirty Diner near the city’s famous 6th St and snuck in with a bronze when Australian band the Gimlets pulled out.

“It was just a stoke of luck,” said Fingerpuller singer Daniel Brandt. “The Gimlets were obviously going to win because they were just awesome, but that afternoon a guy from some record company flew in and saw them. So they had to go back with him to New York and sign a five album deal.

“I felt kinda sorry for them because they looked like they had the gold sewn up, but that allowed us to move up the ranks from fourth into taking out the bronze. It was choice, especially the haka.”

The haka -- performed bare-chested by a group of supporters lead by minister in charge of musicians Judith Tizard -- drew considerable attention and the group were invited to perform it again the following night before a capacity crowd of 7000 in Austin’s SuperCenter.

“But,” said haka leader Rangi Huka, “while we could see they were genuinely interested in us doing it and it would have been good to perform it in front of people like Shania Twain, the Beastie Boys, Ridley Scott and a whole heap of other choice people it just would have cheapened it.”

Their decision was widely supported by the Kiwi contingent who felt the haka should only be used to celebrate the mediocrity they had displayed over the week.

In many ways it has been a disappointing festival for the Kiwi bands all of whom -- aside from Fingerpuller -- only managed fourth placings in their finals despite some excellent performances in the heats.

Especially disappointed was singer-songwriter Melanie Swanson from Tauranga who had been a wild card when she was picked to perform at the prestigious festival. Swansonhad only previously played three live shows and has only four original songs but was expected to be an outsider in with a good chance. However she was forced to withdraw from her first heat due to injury.

“We knew there would be heaps of partying after the concerts were over,” said Swanson, “so the night before my gig me and a few of the boys decided to get in some training. So we did this huge pub crawl along 6th St which was just going off. We got in about 5am and I was wasted, mate.

“And then in the morning I woke up and couldn’t feel my left side and my head had this amazing pain. I think it is adjusting to the climate here which is pretty dry and hot. So I had to pull out.”

Highly touted Dunedin band the SadOnes also had problems.

“You know it’s a really long way to come to Austin,” said drummer Andrew Mason. “Like, we had to pack our bags and then fly all the way to Auckland and then we had to fly to Los Angeles and then we had to fly here. And just three days after that we had to play this 20 minute set at the Rusted Rooster.

“We did that okay, but then two days later we had to play again. I mean, that’s twice in like three days. We only played twice in the whole of last year.

“But it is good to get this touring experience. Now I know how the guys in U2 and the Stones feel.”

The SadOnes were placed fourth in their finals behind Scotland’s Revvers, Texas band the Tailgators and Son, and Zimbabwean rockers Manza!Manza!Manza!

South Auckland hip-hoppers U B WakJak fared better than most by playing a fiery set which included their recent hit Pimp My Palusami before an appreciative audience on Wednesday. As a result they have been invited to appear at two hip-hop festivals in the United States next year.

“It’s pretty choice,” said Brotha Maximum DJ, “and we met some awesome people here. So we are just going to get home and apply for some more funding and see if we can get back up this way. They really like our Pasifikan flava.”

Chef de Mission Judith Tizard said despite the poor showing all New Zealanders should be celebrating the success of the Kiwi contingent. And while only one medal was won and no recording contracts had been picked up and the whole exercise had been enormously expensive, the junket allowed bands to perform on a world stage and that was invaluable.

“There’s no doubt that Fingerpuller put New Zealand on the map,“ she said. “But next year we might have to see if we can get some better scheduling.

“It is disappointing for bands like the SadOnes to come all the way here and find they are playing the same night as Tom Waits appears with Lou Reed.

"And having Ratchet on at 4am in a suburban bar was probably not going pull an audience.

“But all the Kiwis got out and supported them and although no one else turned up we got in behind them. They gave 110 percent and when they finished we did another spontaneous haka and the barman said it was terrific . . but that we should now all fuck off because he wanted to turn the lights out and go home.”

One thing I learned in my years at the Herald -- which any journalist will confirm -- is that you can write a penetrating article about a serious subject and get absolutely no reader response, yet if you spell the name of a lousy album by a crashing bore like Al Stewart incorrectly . . .

Blogging has proven much the same. Saying bad things about politicians always gets good feedback, something personal (the death of my mother for example) gets genuinely sensitive and honest responses, and writing the Alt.Nation satires last year confirmed for me that many people can’t tell political absurdity from reality, which is extremely worrying.

But one thing blogging has in common with hardcopy journalism is you can write a penetrating article about a serious subject . . .

My recollection is that when I previously wrote about Aceh, Taiwan and the situation in the southern provinces of Thailand (where 10 per cent of the population is Muslim and they are being hammered by thugs in police and military uniforms) there were very few responses.

So, in the sure knowledge that this may elicit not a single solitary ripple from anyone’s radar let me now launch into something serious which I think is only going to get bigger and dominate our headlines: the political unrest in Thailand.

Three nights ago I was talking to some people about it -- people who had been to Thailand a couple of times -- and I mentioned what was happening. They didn’t know a thing about it.

Fair enough. Until then I think it had only rated a couple of paragraphs in various newspapers and I have seen nothing on television news about it.

Today however the situation made the front page of the Herald under the heading “Thailand teeters on the brink“.

The brink of what is as yet unclear, but possibly civil disruption in Bangkok and the government declaring a widespread state of emergency. (There is already a state of emergency in the southern provinces.)

The shorthand is this: prime minister Thaksin Shinawatra has lost the confidence of many thousands of former supporters amidst allegations of corruption (hardly a new thing in Thailand), and he has called for an early election on April 2 to test his mandate but opposition parties (which would doubtless lose anyway) are going to boycott it.

Ironically the head of one of the powerful movements against PM Thaksin is his former ally Chamlong Srimuang who has said the protests and sit-ins will be peaceful. So far they have been -- but pro-Thaksin forces are also gathering in the northern provinces and threatening to come to town for a show of support.

Thaksin was yesterday in the northeast rallying people in his election campaign but also trying to defuse the situation by ruling out declaring a state of emergency. (Although he also said the legislation was ready to go.)

The military have said they will not be intervening. If you can believe that.

Yesterday tens of thousands of anti-Thaksin demonstrators marched in Bangkok and right now five thousand have camped out at Government House overnight and have said they intend to stay indefinitely. They are surrounded by over 1000 police.

The demonstrators have been carrying posters which depict Thaksin as Hitler and reading “Thaksin -- Wanted Dead or Alive”. They are serious.

As all this is going on there is still violence in the southern provinces of Pattani, Yala, Songhkla and Narathiwat where most of Thailand's six million Muslim minority live.

Aid and development programmes are being deployed because these are poor provinces and there is widespread fear that Muslim youths are becoming increasingly militant. And who could blame them?

More than 400 people were killed last year, Muslim schools have been torched, and in some villages non-Muslims are unwelcome. Many Thai Muslims in these provinces speak Yawi, a Malay dialect, and the region was once part of the old Kingdom of Pattani, a semi-autonomous Malay region which adopted Islam seven centuries ago.

Thailand annexed the area a little over a century ago, but the people still have more in common with Malaysia than Bangkok.

The separatists began their struggle for autonomy in the 70s and while things went quiet for a while in the past two years the region has become volatile again.

There are widespread suggestions that young Muslims are seeing their struggle as part of the international jihad as young Islamic teachers, trained in Pakistan and Afghanistan, have returned home fired by the radical ideas of Islamists.

Thaksin has made it clear that there will be no autonomy for this region. So there is the makings of another Aceh.

The reason all this is important is obvious. Just look at a map.

But we might also expect our media to be taking a greater interest given our long links with Thailand: it’s the place we go to get sun-tanned and buy Buddha heads. We delight in the friendliness of the people, the temples and Mekong whisky on a white beach at sunset.

We trade with Thailand, hundreds if not thousands of us have lived there, and we like the food. In Auckland we have Thai neighbours and friends.

So far the protests have been peaceful. But as anyone who has been on the wrong side of a Thai policeman knows, there can be an underlying volatility in Thailand, and men in uniform or fired up by political passion can be quick to respond to a perceived threat.

Thaksin has lost the support of many middle-class amidst the allegations of corruption and tax evasion, and the poor have little to lose by his going. And the military?

Might it not be time to cross to our Asia correspondent in Bangkok?

A few weeks ago my website was mentioned in a dispatch by a columnist in a Sunday paper. Not favourably of course, but more of that later . . .

First, a follow-up to my last post on Mr David Benson-Pope and the spin he was putting on the matters beleaguering him.

The response to what I wrote was overwhelmingly of the “damn right” kind, and it was interesting to note the number of former teachers and those still at the whiteboard’n’overhead projector who were resounding in their condemnation of this man’s actions.

And let us be clear here: not one person who responded mentioned the “allegations”.

Everyone -- without exception -- was commenting on the man’s evasions in the House.

The consensus on the issue of whether he would have remembered the complaints or not -- as opposed to what he said he didn‘t remember -- was along the lines, “Oh c’mon! Of course you remember such things“.

To say otherwise is to admit to Alzheimer’s or worse, to be a liar.

The consensus was that Mr Benson-Pope was a liar. That he remembered all right.

There was one, just one, respondent who advanced the line that like, “every other pointless commentator” I had now had my say, but really, “Who cares?”

He added -- after some analogies about worse things like Muslims blowing each other up, schools short of money and lack of treatment for heart patients -- that all these politicians (he mentioned Rodney Hide by name) play fast and loose with the truth.

Maybe that’s a point, but this was my white-heat, intemperate, poorly spelled and woefully punctuated reply:

“Well obviously i care and i have never bought that spurious argument that we shouldn't worry about something because there are all these other problems
which are much worse. to me that smacks of cynical indifference because you can just say 'oh that's not so bad, what about . . ."

okay you are right, muslims are blowing each other up so ....?obviously you think that is more important so what are you doing about that?

i have previously written about muslims under siege in thailand (no one talks about that one huh? and if their PM goes down which is looking likely then who knows what will happen there, and what will happen to our cheap holiday playground if the besieged muslims in the southern provinces say 'we ain't gonna take it any more) i have also written about korea and various other topics which i guess you think might be more wortthy than B-P. but i think there is quite a lot at stake with B-P.

are you so cynical as to accept that your elected representatives will play fast and loose with the truth? ie you expect them to lie? sad day mate, unless you hold these people to account for their actions. remember, watergate began with a bungled burglary and the first world war
started after some little know archduke was shot by a disgruntled disident. so it's sometimes a little hard to say 'well that ain't important, this thing over here is much more so'
i had my say on this one because i felt i had some personal experience in the teaching realm -- and the feedback from teachers to me has ben 'damn right' this guy is bringing is into disrepute and he KNEW what went on.' so there you go, there's my pointless reply.”

Hilariously absurd response I know (World War I! Must have been the schnapps!)

Since then things in the Benson-Pope “saga” -- and have we redefined saga to mean about a week? -- have spiralled into control.

The man did what all politicians and celebs do in such circumstances -- he appeared with the wife and kids Tamihere-style to engender sympathy and divert attention -- and finally did a couple of carefully calculated interviews. The media dutifully covered all this.

Jesus! I don’t want to sound like the Council of Elders who wanted to turn television back to the days of Close to Home and I Love Lucy, but where was the hard-boiled cynicism that journalists pride themselves on?

Otherwise sensible columnists took their eye off the ball and weighed in saying there had been a media beat-up and to leave the guy alone. (??) Then letters to the editors said much the same: like, these allegations happened a long time ago and things were different in schools back then.

Huh??

My reply to that -- and to all those who say these are “historic allegations“, or whatever bullshit code words politicians and social workers use for things which have happened in the past -- was simple.

If you want to focus on those allegations -- which I don’t -- then okay, let’s do it.

This last lot didn’t happen in the 60s -- although Mr B-P does look like he’s stepped out of that blazer and bamboo cane era. They happened in the very late 90s. We had decimal currency then, folks.

These are not ancient things being hauled up, not things beyond human recall. Shortland St was on the telly. Had been for five years!

Aaaaanyway, that was not the line I went down.

My point was simply this: Mr B-P said in the House he was not aware of any complaints against him when he was a teacher.

Well, that’s a position impossible to maintain. (Unless he is going for the Alzheimers Defence and then he and we have a whole other problem on our hands).

Nope, I stand by what I said. I don’t believe him. He knew. He didn’t tell the truth to the House. He lied. To you. To me.

Other politicians have rightly paid the price for that.

But in a footnote I have to say I was amused that he managed to pull this line at the end of last week and not one single interviewer, inquisitor or columnist that I was aware of questioned it: He said that it seemed to all depend on the interpretation of the word “complaint”.

Actually, no it didn’t. It depended on HIS interpretation of “not aware”.

Think about the consequences of that defence.

Righto, finished with him.

He’s going to survive -- nice those folks in his electorate weighed in his side, the subtext of which is, ‘We are comfortable with the fact our MP lies’.

We will all be the richer for Mr B-P’s presence in the House. Punchlines for months to come.

Back now to the Sunday paper columnist and my website .

The gist of the column if you didn’t see it was that people create personal websites for self-aggrandisement and to get the love and respect they don’t get from the real world.

It’s an interesting point and one that I don’t entirely disagree with.

I’m not going to leap to my own defence -- I am of the old school of “never explain and never complain” -- but am only going to say that nothing on my website is fabricated or untrue.

(Although maybe that rests on your interpretation of the word “not“ and mine on the word “untrue?” Ho-ho!)

Nope. My website is what it is.

Although more truthfully, it was what it was.

The whole shooting works has undergone a major overhaul and my sincere thanks go to Daniel of interactivepulse.co.nz who has done the upgrade and added the additional stories, music, pages of witty anecdotes and photographs and so on.

There is small tweaking to do -- Dan is looking at the compression and looping of the music my son AB and his friend Troy did to make it sound as they recorded it -- but it should be there for your consideration about now. Or tomorrow. Update: it's done!

But as Mr Benson-Pope, Bob Dylan and poor bastards like me who live a leaky building know only too well ........ tomorrow is a long long time.

I’m quite excited about the possibilities Dan has made available and am promising weekly updates of amusements and information. I hope it is enjoyable and/or informative. Or just a diversion when you have downtime in the office.

Righto, I’m off to fill in the Census form (dunno why, I’ve never seen any evidence of forward planning in this country, have you?)

But I think I might put myself down as a “New Zealander”.

Just to piss off liberals and make bar conversations or dinner parties more volatile.

I wonder, why don’t they have a category for, “From Elsewhere“?

Yesterday, with the announcement that the Rolling Stones are coming for a Western Springs concert, I wrote a piece for the Herald about the first time I saw them: it was 40 years ago tomorrow actually.

I expect it will run this weekend and I had fun writing it. It was interesting to recall the specifics of that night and I could remember what I wore, where I sat in the Civic (I’m sure I could still point out the aisle seat upstairs), and what the Stones played.

In fact, when I think about it I am surprised about how much of the small and large detail of my life I can remember. Especially given that at various times I shovelled large amounts of brain-damaging drugs and alcohol into my system -- much more so than any responsible accountant, doctor, teacher and/or cabinet minister.

Okay, you can guess where this is going.

Like Mr David Benson-Pope I too spent time as a schoolteacher, although my time was long before his.

After teacher’s college I spent a year at Birkdale Intermediate in 74, then two years at Penrose High looking after problem students, slow learners and kids straight off the plane from various Pacific Islands. (Yes, back then they put them all in the same prefab out the back by the bike sheds.)

After that I took two years off fulltime teaching and finished off my degree while doing a little relief work (Takapuna Grammar, Avondale and so on).

Then I got a job at Glenfield College taking a pre-employment class. These were kids who didn’t want to be at school and I was expected to give them skills to get jobs. (You know, teach them how to fill out forms, write CVs and so on).

Instead, by the end of the first term, I simply got them all jobs -- and so was out of a job myself.

The school then realised I wasn’t just some naff social worker but actually had a proper degree so I started taking English classes, and over the years established their Art History programme. I ended up teaching English and Art History to scholarship level.

By 86 I was pretty weary so did a part-time year and stayed at home the rest of the time to write for Metro, the Listener, the Herald and such like. In 87 I went back but wasn’t given a permanent classroom and after a term of lugging books, overhead projectors, ghetto blasters and my bag all around the school I was offered a tempting fulltime job at the Herald.

I considered it but, because I had bursary and scholarship students for whom I felt some responsibility, I delayed taking up the offer until the August school holidays when I felt the students would have done most of the course and I could leave them with a clear conscience. I started at the Herald at the end of August 87.

I mention the dull details of all this to reinforce a small point: during those many years of teaching I encountered literally hundreds of kids. Sometimes hundreds in a single year.

Of course I don’t remember them all, but in subsequent years I have been approached by dozens and dozens of them in places as diverse as nightclubs, on the Ponte Vecchio, on the wharf one night at 2am, and in Kingsland just a few days ago.

What surprises me is if I don’t remember the names I certainly know the faces and can put them in context quickly. Maybe as Bob Dylan wrote, “I remember the face of every man who put me here”!

I also remember staff members at various schools, incidents in the classroom, the various curricula of certain subjects and so on.

Most people who know me say I’ve got a lousy memory for faces and names -- selective perhaps? -- but I also do pretty well with birthdays and anniversaries. (Today the 20th anniversary of my dad’s death actually).

So, we’ve established I have a reasonable memory -- but pretty typical I am thinking. Nothing special.

What I know I would remember -- especially as a schoolteacher -- is if I had been disciplined, reprimanded or even just told off by a principal or a board.

That’s the kind of stuff -- professional misdemeanour or just bloody embarrassing -- that I would remember in absolute detail. It’s not like it happens frequently if you are a teacher -- and if it does you really shouldn’t be there.

Which is why I just don’t buy Mr David Benson-Pope’s current “a nonsense” position about these new allegations.

Okay, the prime minister says, “I defy anyone to relate in great detail anything that happened eight years ago”. She may well be right.

If you were being asked to remember what you wore or what you watched on television one particular night in 97 then you’d probably be scratching your head.

But if you had been a teacher and the matter was as serious as these current accusations against Mr Benson-Pope, you’d remember. You’d remember all right. You’d remember being called to account, the fact the school sent a letter to the parents, and that it changed its policy in the matter.

You’d remember. As a former teacher I would, whether it had been in 87 or 77, let alone 97. I'd remember, as would you I am sure, with shame-filled clarity.

But Mr Benson-Pope -- "for sure, he is an honest man"? -- says he doesn‘t. That he was “not aware of any complaint of any kind” during this period.

Frankly sir, I don’t believe you.