Random Play by Graham Reid

So, who is the 14-year old at TV One who has been writing Simon Dallow’s scripts lately? In the past few weeks on the 6pm news there has been a breathlessness coming through more befitting the E! Channel. It is a bit alarming.

But I'm starting to think that's the point.

Last night for example in a hyperventilating item about Ballu Khan being arrested in Fiji and “allegedly beaten” (as the proper terminology should be), we were told that he was “bashed” and was being held “in captivity” in hospital.

While I don’t doubt for a second the gravity of Mr Khan’s plight or his current situation, such highly emotive words and phrases -- and the often downright inflammatory -- are becoming all too common in what we might have expected to be rather more dispassionate news reports.

(That is when the news isn’t being some public service announcement, as for example the young reporter last night who cautioned us to be careful when using fireworks. Thanks for that.)

Still, we live in a small country which likes to talk big. The glee exhibited by television news when the “terrorists” were rumbled showed just how desperate newsrooms can be for a real story sometimes.

But wasn’t Millie Holmes a godsend, now we have our own Britney or Amy Winehouse just like the big, grown-up countries. (Although if it is true she has hitched up with someone in rehab it’s worse than we can have imagined, she is perhaps more correctly our Liz Taylor.)

So yes, we do like to overstate for effect, even if the assertion doesn‘t stand serious scrutiny.

Like the lawyer for one of the “alleged terrorists” who was being detained. He drew an analogy between Mt Eden Prison and Guantanamo Bay.

Then we have had the PM saying that around her way on Saturday night the noise of the fireworks was like being in downtown Kandahar.

Well, I live about two blocks away from the PM‘s residence (in the rather less salubrious street) and if that is what Kandahar is like then the Afghan Tourism Authority shouldn’t have much trouble attracting visitors.

Yes, there were explosions every now and again -- some really loud -- and a few skyrockets whizzed overhead. But nothing like a decade ago, lest we forget.

However it was the Saturday night before Guy Fawkes and that would be pretty much what you’d expect -- even in the nice suburbs. And it wasn’t a war-zone either, it was just people having fun making a lot of noise. Personally I don’t have a problem with that for a few days a year. I like people having fun.

I know others will want to have their say here about Guy Fawkes and that’s fine. Go for your life.

But I love Guy Fawkes with all the noise and skyrockets and I still think it was sad day when we -- “they” actually -- banned bonfires.

And who were “they”?

Well, without overstating matters like the 14-year old at TV One, “they” were the safety nazis bastards. The shits.

PS. Chris Knox informs me that the correct title of his Labour song is Way Better. Which does sound way better. It is at Elsewhere with lots of other new music.

The other night on the E! Channel -- or it could have been the news on One or TV3, there’s been such a convergence -- there was a piece about Tom Cruise and how he refused to be drawn on his political affiliations.

Even though he’s one of the most powerful players in Hollywood, you wouldn’t think Cruise’s politics would be of much real interest. But in the celebrity obsessed culture of America -- where the Fox news had a running thread recently which seemed to be naming and shaming Hollywood directors who have lined up for various Democrat nominees -- it was no surprise to see Cruise stopped on a red carpet, smile like a reptile when the question was asked, then be moved on by his minder.

In this instance however the question seemed fair enough: Cruise’s latest flick is a penetrating look at contemporary American politics and society.

Lions for Lambs directed by (and starring) Robert Redford is a three-ring act: Redford plays a liberal professor pushing a young and increasingly disillusioned student into using his talents for the good of all, and two of his former students are seen as soldiers on a mission in Afghanistan.

Those segments of the movie are fine -- spare us the bombastic music in the military sequences, and the inevitable heroism however -- but the clincher is the long exchange between Cruise as an intelligent, articulate, oily Republican senator and presidential possibility who has a new plan for winning the war in Afghanistan, and of course break the back of the enemy in the war on terror.

Cruise schmoozes, entices and intellectually seduces an older journalist (Meryl Streep), and invites her into his gameplan by giving her exclusive information just to use her as the vehicle to take this good news message to the American people.

It is scary performance by Cruise who uses that screen intensity he commands to bring this ambitious, clever and utterly evil character to life. And he does it by seemingly giving parts of himself away to the journo, a seduction that crackles on the screen.

Without spoiling the movie any more for you -- it is flawed but certainly worth seeing when it opens in a week or so -- it is an insight into the mind of the conservative cabal behind the visible players in Washington DC.

You can only be glad Dick Cheney possesses none of the charm that Cruise has.

Pete Hammond in Maxim has already described it as "an urgent, impassioned wake-up call for America, a hot-button politically incendiary work that is certain to become the most controversial and talked-about movie of 2007."

"Current big star-laden Hollywood films rarely take the kind or risks this one does," he says. "It's been over three decades since Redford made The Candidate and All The President's Men but clearly he's still out there, using motion pictures to try and make a difference. Agree or disagree, love it or hate it, you won't be able to turn away."

That might be over-egging it a little, my guess is despite the Redford/Cruise/Streep firepower on the marquee, and that it will open in 2000 cinemas in the States next month, it will still go largely unseen by the many who might need to have their politics questioned.

Certainly the Republicans will come out guns blazing at it, doubtless hauling out the old “liberal left-leaning Hollywood” argument again. Others will write it off as a typical conspiracy-theory flick where the media and academics set themselves up to be the good guys in possession of greater truths than elected officials and so on.

Fox will have a field-day and that should be fun. Lotsa name-calling is my guess.

Either way -- and yes, those are valid criticisms -- this is classic 70s-style movie-making right out of the Nixon Era in many respects. It is film as a fuse to ignite discussion.

Frankly though, my guess is that the discussion won’t go much further than folks asking themselves what Tom Cruise’s politics are.

Please God he isn’t a Republican and someone persuades him to run for office.

If he brought just half that impassioned, terrifying intensity to the campaign trail as he does to this part he’d be having Katie chose the crockery for the White House in no time at all.

And apropos of nothing, and too far after the event: what was up with the music awards this year?

By my recollection there was only one musician presenting (Milan from Pluto, I’m not counting Paul Holmes). Did we really need the self-aggrandising and naked self-promotion of James Coleman for his morning tele-show? The leggy Petra being the leggy Petra? A surfer and snowboarder?

Maybe that’s the kind of convergence some people like to see, but I doubt having Tiger Woods present a Grammy, or even Graham Brazier present a trophy at some Sportsperson of the Year event would fly.

More musicians at the music awards I think, and more diversity of music represented live on stage.

But that’s just me. And I’m a guy who thinks Tom Cruise is a pretty good actor.

PS: After an absence when I was overseas then kneecapped by computer problems Music From Elsewhere is back with a roar. There’s interesting and different music at right here -- and also under Absolute Elsewhere lots of essays, musician interviews and the like. Interesting and some weird photos from Malaysia and Singapore too. Have trawl.

Nice to be back. Nice to be anywhere actually.

It's inevitable when we travel that we recognise the familiar: the McDonalds in smalltown Thailand, yet another damn Body Shop, a reggae bar covered in Bob Marley iconography, a Madonna poster on the wall of a hair salon in a small village in Malaysia . . .

But that is simply because our senses are drawn to those things which have some resonance for us, it doesn't necessarily mean that cultural imperialism has washed over these places and all is lost.

What we don't recognise -- but which is much more important to most locals -- is the name of their favourite band on a poster written in their own language, the banner for a small family-run bakery, the sign which tells you where you can get your motorbike fixed . . .

But inevitably when I picked up the Malaysia Star the other day in Kuala Lumpur my eye was drawn to the wearily familiar stories: some driving instructors were taking kickbacks to pass people for their license; a boy racer killed in a suburban industrial area; a missing child; a murder; the weather as news . . .

There was nothing in any of this I hadn't read a thousand times before either at home or in some other place. Of course the interesting news -- all the regional reports from places with names I couldn't pronounce let alone had heard of -- were fascinating.

Well, to me at least.

I imagine there is someone in Petaling Jaya throwing down their paper in disgust and saying in one of the many languages spoken here, "Same damn thing every day!"

But the big news here -- aside from the local soccer -- has been the budget. Let me tell you the main points of what has been billed a "compassionate" budget "with goodies for everyone".

Education: it's all going to be completely free with all restrictions lifted on some Textbook Loan scheme and the abolition of annual fees for primary and secondary students, as well as the examination fee for some big exam.
If you are SpecialEd teacher your monthly allowance goes up from RM100 to RM250. (The ringgit is worth about 45cents, but that is still a substantial percentage increase).

If you are a Graduate Teacher your allowance goes from RM85 to RM150.

If you are a government-sponsored student your cost-of-living allowance will be increased between 23% and 84%. There are substanital cost of living allowances if you are studying in the US, Canada and Britain.

There are also payments direct to health specialists in a governemnt hospital from patients who are full-paying; there is tax relief of up to RM300 to buy health and sports equipment to encourage a healthy lifestyle; workers with the disabled get a 50% increase in their allowance; there are tax deductions for business if they provide new computers and broadband for employees (and the employee is tax-exempt for the benefit of it); senior citizens aged above 55 (!!?!) who are unemployed can buy government bonds (dunno how that works) and so on.

There was much more besides and the papers and television have been filled with smiling political faces and some civilians saying good things. Even the leader of the opposition admitted there were a lot of goodies in it.

All this has been necessary because in Malaysia the cost of living is rising and wages etc aren't keeping up. It is become more expensive to buy a house (espeically if you are aren't a government worker who gets a special deal) and so on.

But there is also a big push to improve research and development, and the knowldegede economy (which I take to be rather more go-ahead than the one we banged on about maybe six years ago).

Anyway all this is interesting and as a budget it was quite unfamiliar: our budgets seem to involve giving people a packet of chewing gum as I recall, or saying there will be jam on April 1 next year.

But as I travelled down to coastal Melaka with a very chatty Indrin we finally got talking about the budget. He, as many commentators had, nailed it in one.

"But next year is the election, so this is just an election budget".

Somehow that sounded very familiar indeed.

PS: I am travelling around peninsula Malaysia, Sarawk and Sabah -- with sidetrips to Singapore and Brunei -- for a fortnight and as and when I have the time or inclination I shall bore you with what a wonderful time I am having.

I am also putting up some rather more . . . hmmm . . . reflective thoughts
here

By the way, The All Blacks' victory got a whole page about seven in from the back after the soccer.

Sometimes life just works out, doesn’t it? Like late yesterday afternoon when I got a call from Russell Brown. It hadn’t been a great day until that point but fortune -- and Russell -- smiled upon me, and my decision to wear something approximating a suit.

I don’t tog up often but yesterday had to appear at a Tenancy Tribunal hearing as a witness on behalf of friends and former neighbours.

So as one who had put some time into supporting their case I thought I’d look the part: dark trousers, dark shirt, dark jacket, vivid blue tie -- I looked like I was Someone Serious.

After the very long hearing -- during which I had to wait alone in an empty corridor for almost two hours with nothing to read but case notes -- we adjourned to the Shakespeare Hotel for drinks and the debrief.

It was around 5pm when Russell called with an offer I couldn't refuse: I had to take his place at an exclusive whisky tasting event to be held at the British Consul office about 50m from where I was standing.

So I was suited and suitable, and half an hour later was happily re-introducing myself to a very fine whisky connoisseur and importer Michael F. Fraser Milne from Christchurch where he runs Whisky Galore. His business card reads “for all your spiritual needs”.

I had first met Michael a few years ago when he brought Charles MacLean, Scotland‘s leading whisky writer, to the country. MacLean and I had a very enjoyable chat in a leathery and book-lined room at the Northern Club -- and despite the early hour we enjoyed a wee dram. Or two.

MacLean wasn’t a whisky snob, just a man passionate about the art of distilling, the nuances of flavour, and the culture of whisky. He was also a man who enjoyed a drink and said he had no problem with people who wanted to splash Coke into their glass. He didn’t do it and felt it often spoiled a good drink, but if that’s what you want to do at 2am in club then . . .

Last night the handsomely moustached Milne was introducing another such expert from Scotland, Ian McWilliam from Glenfarclas Distillery, a company which writer MacLean notes in one of his guides as making “whisky of classic status; usually it is numbered among the top handful of Speysides by professional tasters. The fact that it is available at so many ages (and at cask strength) makes for fascinating comparative tasting”.

I can only second that, because that is what McWilliam and Milne generously offered last night to about 30 connoisseurs from around the country. Five single malts -- from the Family Cask collection of bottlings every year from 1952 to 94 -- to be compared and enjoyed.

Glenfarclas has a fascinating history and has been in the same family, the Grants, since 1865. A family “well in the know” about whisky as the softly-spoken McWilliam wryly noted. There was watercolour in the family collection of what looked like a distillery in the late 18th century he said -- but the company was legally established in 1836 under John Grant.

Amusingly they might know a lot about whisky but are unimaginative when it comes to naming their sons: there was John the founder then his son George and his son George and his son George and his son John and now his son George. Or something like that.

Still, maybe it is a Scottish thing: I was born in Edinburgh and my Dad was a Graham and so was his father. (My mother was a Margaret and so is my older sister -- so I leave it to you to figure out how bewildering that could be in the house.)

While taking us through some Grant family history and the distilling process McWilliam also offered the tasting samples of single malts from casks of ‘94, ‘84, ‘77, ‘67 and finally ‘57.

This was a remarkable and rare opportunity to sample some of Scotland’s finest -- the first time these had been opened outside the United Kingdom apparently.

To be honest, I am no financial position to explore some of these further: the ‘94 is the cheapest at $290 a bottle through Whisky Galore, the ‘57 goes for $1618 -- but to great guffaws of appreciation Milne said he wouldn’t charge for postage on orders. "Scottish discount," some wag hooted.

Yes, I could bang on about colour and nose and finish and so on (it would all be true) but really it was also the sense of occasion and the company I enjoyed as much as anything else. I met a guy who spent three years in Antarctica who told me that when they came back to or went through Christchurch that Milne’s Whisky Galore was always their first stop for provisions. I could understand that.

I’ve done wine, sherry and tequila tastings in the past and one thing always comes through repeatedly: it is never the top one I like best. The ‘57 last night was of course a treat, but I much preferred the hot fullness of the ‘67 ($732.20 a bottle) and the spicy, thoroughly intense ‘77 ($508.30).

But sitting there in a room full of intelligent, knowledgeable and very friendly people -- just outside the door of the Pitcairn Island Office if you ever wondered where it was -- I was amongst those who not only appreciated a good single malt, but also savoured the whole culture around it and the camaraderie it brought.

Many had been to Scottish distilleries and had stories to tell, others just used their Scottish heritage as an excuse to have a decent drink. I reckon Charles MacLean would have approved of us all.

When I finally left around 9pm I was famished so went to the Belgian Bar for bangers and mash and a Leffe blonde.

There were lots of guys in dark suits -- I fitted right in -- and braying office girls, and young men in fashionably faded jeans with their striped shirts untucked and sporting what I call All Black hairstyles.

Everyone was having a noisy good time and beneath the clamour I could hear Lou Reed singing Perfect Day and then the Smiths’ This Charming Man.

Yep, sometimes life just works out.

The ticket isn't exactly in my hand, but in less than a fortnight I am going to be traipsing around various parts of Malaysia, and I need your help.

Somewhere between going up-river in Sarawak and going jungle in Sabah (or to the beach) I want to spend a few days in Brunei -- and I am openly soliciting for advice/contacts/ideas and so on.

The other day I spoke to someone at The Asia New Zealand Foundation who said they had never had an approach from a New Zealand journalist about going to Brunei -- and that they had no contacts in the country.

That has made me even more interested in going there.

Given the paucity of information here about Brunei (many people seem to think it is in the Middle East in my experience) I would like to do a serious piece of reportage (for some outlet) on its economy and so on, as much as just enjoying whatever delights it might have to offer.

So I am asking for help: Know anyone? Got contacts in government and/or business there? Advice on necessary courtesies and protocols?

Obviously I am going to be working the phones in the next few days, but any assistance or advice would be greatly appreciated. I think we need to know a lot more about Brunei.

Maybe even just something at all.

And in other self-serving matters: tomorrow night (Monday 27th) I am giving a free talk at the Auckland City Library on my experiences of rock'n'roll travel (with images, music, readings and humorous anecdotes). It's from 6pm so feel free to drop in: there is wine and coffee available and I will also have copies of my book for sale.

And finally: Lou Reed talking about the Velvet Underground in 1967? The as-yet unreleased albums by Steve Earle and Jose Gonzalez? Wonderful music from a Sheffield ballader, and the bellydance clubs of the Middle East? Poised Chinese sounds and luvverly stuff from the Cape Verde Islands? And more???

Yep, it is all right here
Plus recipes/essays/stories/and other newly added stuff. Enjoy -- and doubtless there will be punk rock from Brunei in about three weeks.
Ho ho ho!