Cracker: Flashback
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It's not a documentary, John. It's more an exploration of the human condition with relation to Gestetners, potatoes and bicycles.There will be parts of the narrative that will not mesh with historical fact or as Winston Peters might say "We make stuff up".
Merc, are you Leda bored? Her character does rather swan about. But maybe that's just her way. Proust! -
merc,
Hehhe, I was going to introduce Cassandra (she who was heard but not believed), but then I have this ballet subplot brewing...then we can have men in tights , that's the money shot, also I'm working on morphing the bicycle into a Chopper (because I want one paid for from The Grant), and the G will morph into a Power Book (same reason), and the leather Courier suit (as above). I might even go all Peter Jackson and try for a house as well, so we will be re-locating the action to a West Coast cliff top.
More is coming, I'm geatating the Gestetner, BTW, I thought the luffly smelly ink was magenta? -
There's not much funnier in this world than men in tights!
Just a suggestion, could the Getstener morph into A PIANO!!! which might eventually drag them all under when the clifftop house falls into the sea. Timmy could then bravely rescue them!!
Ideas 'r' us. -
merc,
Hamish, I am deadly serious about the tights. A piano, sorry I don't personally want a piano, I want a Power Book. If you're not going to fall into line with the scripting process we have a little Kiwi sitcom you can work on called, Funny, It's A Kiwi Lampshade!!!" Capiche?
BTW, Timmy has been removed from the script, thanks for your input, any questions talk to my PA, or do you want us to remove your co-screenwriter end credit? -
But... but... little Timmy!?!?!
Oh well, back to politics for The Listener *sniff*
Could I be an extra, I'm pretty hot in tights!
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merc,
Hamish, we value your input, an extra part may come available, however as you can appreciate renumeration for any past or future endeavours will be on a discretionary basis. Re. in tights, how hot and do you have a talent tape?
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now look, in the spirit of NZ comedy writing, just because my input has been completely crap so far, it doesn't mean i should be written out.
yes you can't beat a good pair of tights. hamish, do you have a website or liuve cam we could audition you on?
i like the powerbook-house-piano falling into the sea, a la The Shipping News.
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merc,
R. honest, you weren't written out, we value your input, value I say. However, please stop referring to other non-studio projects, this script is pre, pre, pre, pre, pre draft for Funding purposes, capiche? I know in a more romantic world (pre McCarthy and Meet Teh Feebles) we would be going for a money shot script, well with this project...we still are.
There will be a whole raft of further inclusions required as we get closer to teh money and my goodies, I mean props.
Now, get back to work and send more words before I re-negotiate your tights allowance! -
capito capiche.
ok, where were we then? what kind of vibe/grant are we aiming for this with artwork, hmm?
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merc,
My clifftop mansion, leather gimp suit, chopper and Power Book for starters, oh and a 250 million dollar tax cut. Anyhoo, I think The Cyclist had just entered the shack and monologued some bloody thing, we need to move the action outside, including the G, so I think we need some grant funds for a locations search. I really need to surf Samoa this winter, so I think we should start there and we can work in some Germans, WW1, NZ Foreign Policy (must sanitise remember the Patron!), diseased Prime Ministers and death of Samoan Patriots. I'll also be wanting to have a fale with an unhindered view of Salani Rights and access to a boat and boatman, oh and a custom islands surfboard with my Movie Company logo on it.
This is starting to feel right, eh, now, more words you worthless hack, I kid you, I kid you mon frere! -
As a sometime storyline consultant might I suggest the Death playing chess ala "the Seventh Seal' type of story?
me in tights I think they got the ears just right,for a change
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very attractive Eusa, you're IT.
Sione Scharnhorst's family had been decimated by the arrival of the Talune in 1919. Those that survived were understandly embittered and vowed to forward The Cause by banding together into a movement of printers, cyclists and clandestine heritage potatoe cultivators (persecuted through the ages by rival taro producers). Torn between a desire for independence and a deep-seated love of authoritarianism, in a confused mish-mash of politicial perspectives, they came to be known as Maudoonists. (When Sione first saw Sir Rob doing the Rocky Horror picture show, his fetish concretized, culminating in an ineluctable desire to dress up in gimp suits.)
And now he was here - for the G. All he knew was that its curators shared his thing for gesteners and his abhorrance of fossil powered modes of transport.
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merc,
But that's Puck isn't it? And I told you (I didn't but nevermind), if you want to have chess playing, we go with Iain M Banks description of 3D chess in Walking On Glass, now that's going to require a whole lot of C.G. and Weta are great for channeling I mean obtaining HUGE funds, love it run with it and I'll be back to about the part, really, at some point, soon...
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merc,
R. I'"ll sign the bloody talent OK!
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ok. but those tights are hard to resist, no? eusa looks like he's resisting them manfully..
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merc,
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can we get a grant yet? have we done enough?
are we there yet are we there yet are we there yet are we there yet? -
oh so this is a documentary. surely there's no money in truth and stuff?
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merc,
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will put muldoon back in cupboard. but can we keep 'Maudoonist'?
it's a Scottish-Chinese-Samoan-German kind of thing, like taro-haggis-dumpling-wurst -
Masterful storyline Riddley.We have some purple Maori potatoes which self grew in our garden if you need props. I would have to see the money first, however.
merc : 3-d chess...always with the wookies eh? How will Banksie be with stealing his idea? That is, if we tell him...I guess. -
merc,
Sometimes R. you've got to kill all your darlings. Maudoon goes, now.
New Zealand’s apology to Samoa
From NZ Ecyclopedia
In June 2002 New Zealand Prime Minister Helen Clark formally apologised to Samoa for three actions taken by the New Zealand administration between 1918 and 1929: allowing the ship Talune, carrying passengers with influenza (our PM actually!), to dock in Apia, which resulted in the deaths of 1 in 5 Samoans; shooting non-violent protestors in December 1929; and banishing Samoan leaders and stripping them of their chiefly titles.
Hamish, if you want that part you better start kissing some ass, also, stop hiding beind that ass with the ears and post photos, of you, in tights, quickly now. -
get the potatoes in front of the webcam and we'll take a look.
m, fancy a bit of "Dancing With Potatoes" judging? i want to be Fiona Strawpeople. -
you've got to kill all your darlings
Kaiser Sosze
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What the Puck are you talking about? That's me from top to bottom. As there is already a Giunea Pig on the staff I thought I would be safe to come out.
Hay, can't you see the beauty inside.
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