Field Theory by Hadyn Green

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Field Theory: I suppose you could call it "passion"

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  • Craig Ranapia,

    The "interview" lasted some time and all in all Kinnear swore 52 times.

    But points off for the limited vocabulary. Kinnear should get himself a DVD of Full Metal Jacket and pay close attention to the Callas of cunning lingual obscenity that is R. Lee Ermey (the only actor Kubrick ever let improvise dialogue):

    WARNING: VIDEO NSFW UNLESS YOU HAVE HEADPHONES.

    And you know what's really scary -- compared to the audition tape Ermey made for Kubrick, this is positively genteel. :)

    North Shore, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 12370 posts Report Reply

  • Tom Semmens,

    Get rid of the bonus points system because it didn't work for Auckland? Way to go on a rugby version of Bushite hubris... "The reality doesn't work for us, therefore we must change the reality."

    Perhaps Auckland ought to learn from the mighty Magpies, with their thriving academy, overflowing stadia and a team with a fan base that is grateful for every victory and accepting of every reverse.

    I don't know, to often watching professional sports teams like Auckland is like watching pornography - a physically perfect bunch engaging in an exercise that resembles what the part-timers in Hawkes Bay are doing, but with none of the joie de vivre of the amateurs.

    So whilst Auckland contemplate the need to take a big long suck on the teet of the shut the fuck up sow, I am heading down to Napier to enjoy Hawkes Bay playing for a semi--final spot. If they win joy oh joyeux! If they lose, oh well, we can look forward to next year, toast what has been and drink to next season!!!

    Sevilla, Espana • Since Nov 2006 • 2210 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    By the way, hands up if you knew Russell Brand had a football blog.

    *raises hand*

    Though that process did go "Hey, Russell Brand has a blog at the Guardian!... Wait a minute, this is about football..."

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4650 posts Report Reply

  • Richard Irvine,

    Keegan's is still the best rant IMHO:
    I would love it

    For fans of the surreal, here's a clearly tired and emotional Delia Smith:

    Where are ya?

    Auckland deserve to be out of the NPC for complaceny, as do Waikato. But, ah, we're in and the Aucks are out, so I don't care! Who reckons Messam has done enough to earn an ABs tour, or is he going to be another Marty Holah / Dion Muir / Duane Monkley?

    I think it's dreadful that Waikato have had so many quality loose forwards overlooked for the ABs over the years, yet the most one dimensional of them all (Luaki) is constantly picked, despite his best efforts to fark it up for himself by being unfit and generally shit.

    Auckland • Since Dec 2006 • 242 posts Report Reply

  • LegBreak,

    I think it's dreadful that Waikato have had so many quality loose forwards overlooked for the ABs over the years,

    That’s really funny.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1162 posts Report Reply

  • Richard Irvine,

    That’s really funny.

    It's part of a Waikato fan's job description to moan about loose forwards' All Black selection.

    Auckland • Since Dec 2006 • 242 posts Report Reply

  • Hadyn Green,

    Get rid of the bonus points system because it didn't work for Auckland? Way to go on a rugby version of Bushite hubris

    Well if I may: Auckland won more games! Hence it played better rugby than three of the teams above it on the table.

    Believe me, I'm no fan of Auckland and I take great delight that they aren't in the finals. But what kind of system allows a 4-6 team into the post-season ahead of a 5-5 team?

    Perhaps Auckland ought to learn from the mighty Magpies, with their thriving academy, overflowing stadia and a team with a fan base that is grateful for every victory and accepting of every reverse.

    Hawke's Bay's development is incredibly good. I have a feeling that a lot of the young guys playing for Auckland this season would rather be playing league. I'm basing this solely on their style of play. I got the feeling they could do with a grizzled old rugby-lifer to come in and smack the kids and say "hold the damn ball with two hands!" Ooo, maybe Brian Lachore could do it.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2090 posts Report Reply

  • Peter Darlington,

    By the way, hands up if you knew Russell Brand had a football blog.

    Not only that, the man is a Hammers fan. I really don't know how I feel about that. He did do a great job of baiting the Nazis though.

    Nelson • Since Nov 2006 • 948 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Brown,

    Believe me, I'm no fan of Auckland and I take great delight that they aren't in the finals. But what kind of system allows a 4-6 team into the post-season ahead of a 5-5 team?

    The weird thing was that Auckland's QF chances came down to Gus Collins' call on what to do with that last-minute penalty. He apparently wavered and almost had the ball kicked out, but then called for the penalty goal that deprived Auckland of a bonus point and killed their season.

    Or, perhaps, put their season out of its misery. For me personally the irony is that I'm always banging on about how I'd go to lots of games if they had daytime kick-offs. Then this year they do - thanks to the floodlights being down for the reconstruction -- and it turns out the bloody team isn't worth the bother.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22744 posts Report Reply

  • LegBreak,

    For me personally the irony is that I'm always banging on about how I'd go to lots of games if they had daytime kick-offs. Then this year they do - thanks to the floodlights being down for the reconstruction

    Although the Wellington shield challenge only 2 weeks ago was at night.

    You know the one; the one where Auckland failed to score or pick up a bonus point…

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1162 posts Report Reply

  • Kyle Matthews,

    But what kind of system allows a 4-6 team into the post-season ahead of a 5-5 team?

    Yeah, but if we go back a bunch of years people were bitching about teams that got 'close' in a high scoring game, and got no reward at all. Six one way, half a dozen the other.

    I'm in favour of the bonus point for coming close, I think the bonus point for scoring four tries is a mockery. If you need to add incentives to make your game exciting, you need to look at your rules. And games with fewer tries can be exciting.

    Since Nov 2006 • 6243 posts Report Reply

  • Hadyn Green,

    Actually despite winning 5 games Aucklands points diff was atrocious (-44). So when they lost, they lost big.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2090 posts Report Reply

  • Hadyn Green,

    Yeah, but if we go back a bunch of years people were bitching about teams that got 'close' in a high scoring game, and got no reward at all. Six one way, half a dozen the other.

    I'm in favour of the bonus point for coming close

    Listen Commie*, you don't play the game to come close. You play to win, if you can't win there shouldn't be a "aw it's ok, here's a blankie for you" point!

    Else a team that loses six games close gets extra points over a team that got blanked in five losses. It also doesn't help that the round robin system this year meant that not every team played each other (something I am for)

    *joke

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2090 posts Report Reply

  • Kyle Matthews,

    It also doesn't help that the round robin system this year meant that not every team played each other (something I am for)

    Yeah that's dumb. A quick analysis of who played who makes you feel sorry for Otago.

    There are 14 teams in the competition, you play 10 games, so you don't play 3 of the other teams.

    The three teams that Otago didn't play were Auckland, North Harbour and Manawatu (they appear to be a top of the table team, a middle table team, and a bottom of the table team from 2007). None of those three teams made the quarter-finals. Otago appear to be the only team that played all 8 quarterfinalists in their 10 games. 2 more points and Otago would have pushed Taranaki down.

    Auckland can't bitch too much, they missed out on playing Otago, Hawkes Bay and Tasman.

    Canterbury got it pretty easy, they missed playing Wellington and Waikato, along with Counties.

    The stupid thing is, if they got rid of two teams, and took away the quarter finals (just playing semis), then they could play a full round-robin. What a great idea, wonder if anything will come of it?

    Since Nov 2006 • 6243 posts Report Reply

  • Hadyn Green,

    The stupid thing is, if they got rid of two teams, and took away the quarter finals (just playing semis), then they could play a full round-robin. What a great idea, wonder if anything will come of it?

    I totally agree.

    It's really interesting the teams that didn't play each other, I wonder if it was based on anything or if it was random.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2090 posts Report Reply

  • Rachel Prosser,

    Get rid of the bonus points system because it didn't work for Auckland?

    And here I come in with my valiant defence of the bonus point, based on being someone who actually goes to the Air New Zealand Cup in person, in rain, hail and sleet (yes literally. That was me wearing 2 hats and cocooning under a waterproof blanket last week)

    The bonus point makes it more interesting! We spent most of the second half against the Bay (um, sorry, can't remember which Bay, we had two in a row) feeling cross that Canterbury had stuffed things up and not got the fourth try. Although I think they did get the fourth and fifth in the end. And God was in his heaven, and all right with the world, despite the rain.

    I should add a disclaimer. I am not born and bred, one-eyed Red and Black, just living here now after previously living and supporting Wellington (as a child), King Country/Waikato (as a teenager) and then Otago (because everyone likes Otago and wishes they too had been a student there at some stage). And Mid Canterbury because my Dad coached the under 19s.

    I came to Canterbury via the Crusaders (so Tasman is my second team, which makes Friday interesting). The brass band in the Tui stand will be pulling out the Blackadder theme!

    And while I am on my "bonus points are good" theme, I'll add my "there is too much manufactured so-called entertainment" theme. And "tickets are too expensive when the ground is mostly empty theme"

    That brass band is great (and I think, unpaid) As is the ground announcer's dead pan delivery when he says "and Canterbury's first try has been scored by Adam Whitelock/Tim Bateman/Scott Hamilton." The implication that there will others is sweet, and and his intonation of the scores is pitch perfect.

    And if they brought the average ticket price closer to the average return per seat (half the seats return $0) then they might have a full ground. They could introduce the Easyjet system where tickets are priced on demand, and go up and down. Or maybe not.

    In any case, go the Bonus point! (and whichever Bay you happen to support - I can't remember if it's Go the Bay, Up the Bay, On the Bay, Wi-hay the Bay - whatever)

    Christchurch • Since Mar 2008 • 228 posts Report Reply

  • Hadyn Green,

    Off-topic: Stade Francais have created what may be one of the worst uniforms ever (but not as bad as their tie-dyed effort)

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2090 posts Report Reply

  • Hadyn Green,

    In any case, go the Bonus point! (and whichever Bay you happen to support - I can't remember if it's Go the Bay, Up the Bay, On the Bay, Wi-hay the Bay - whatever)

    Go the Bay = Bay of Plenty
    C'mon the Bay = Hawkes Bay
    It's a subtle but important difference :)

    And I agree that more tries are exciting, but it just irks me that it goes towards competition points. Bonus points aren't even used in tie break situations.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2090 posts Report Reply

  • LegBreak,

    It’s seeded so the 3 teams you miss out on are 1 from S14 franchise base, a middle-tier, and then an expansion team. It’s cyclical too. For example Wgtn didn’t play Auckland last year, this year it was the Cantabs.

    All fine in theory, but with Hawkes Bay being twice as good as Auckland makes it unfair in practice.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1162 posts Report Reply

  • Kyle Matthews,

    It’s seeded so the 3 teams you miss out on are 1 from S14 franchise base, a middle-tier, and then an expansion team.

    No that can't be right. Canterbury skipped both Wellington and Waikato, both of which are franchise bases.

    It must be based on last year's placings. One from the top 4/5, one from the next 4/5, and one from the bottom 4/5. Auckland therefore missed out on Hawkes Bay, Otago, Tasman, in descending order from 2007. Northland: Wellington, Southland, Counties. Canterbury: Wellington, Waikato (5th), Counties.

    Since Nov 2006 • 6243 posts Report Reply

  • Kyle Matthews,

    According to Allblacks.com:

    Not all teams will play each other during the Modified Round Robin. A formula has been developed to determine which teams do not play each other, based on a team’s competition placing from the previous season.

    Since Nov 2006 • 6243 posts Report Reply

  • Tom Semmens,

    I would have thought that this year's Hawke's Bay team would have beaten the current rabble of schoolboy rugby league players that masquerade as the Auckland team.


    Having said that, with their All Blacks present and a whole season of humiliation that could be partially put right in one win I wonder if Waikato are not the favourites for this Sunday's game with Hawke's Bay. For all their good style, the Magpies don't have the big game breakers.

    Sevilla, Espana • Since Nov 2006 • 2210 posts Report Reply

  • Hadyn Green,

    I wonder if Waikato are not the favourites for this Sunday's game with Hawke's Bay

    My money's on the Magpies. Though the BoP/Southland match is a bit of a worry for me.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2090 posts Report Reply

  • Dave Patrick,

    Stade Francais have created what may be one of the worst uniforms ever

    Oh........ my......... god..........

    And no way does Auckland deserve to be in the quarters - they couldn't even beat Counties (sorry, Coooouuuuunnnnnnttttttttiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeessssss)

    Rangiora, Te Wai Pounamu • Since Nov 2006 • 261 posts Report Reply

  • Hadyn Green,

    And no way does Auckland deserve to be in the quarters - they couldn't even beat Counties (sorry, Coooouuuuunnnnnnttttttttiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeessssss)

    Canterbury lost to Manuwatu

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2090 posts Report Reply

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