Posts by Pat Hackett

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  • Speaker: Medical Journal, Chapter V,

    My chop was rather eventful...

    When I was 19 I was hit in the testicle by a cricket ball (indoor cricket, cracking on-drive, no box) which knocked me out. It swelled to the size of a grapefruit and thanks to medical insurance I was admitted to a private catholic hospital. They forgot to ask me to shave before giving me the pre-op anaesthetic, so I had the pleasure of being spaced out while a nun shaved my balls. Fantastic.

    Fast forward 10 years and am lying in a men's clinic for a vasectomy, with my balls sticking out of a little frontal square in my operating gown. The assistant nurse is Ian Jones mum. We chat about Ian and the All Blacks. I try to be nonchalant as if my shaved balls are not in the middle of the conversation.

    The injection into the scrotum bloody hurt, let me tell you. It was 1996 so I am sure there is some magical way they anaesthetise you now without a mini-harpoon.

    Anyway, one side snip-snip, one minute, no worries. But the doc had a terrible time trying to get a loop in the testicle that had been operated on 10 years earlier. Something about scar tissue getting in the way. It took 30 minutes before he managed it, and when he got the little soldering iron out, the anaesthetic had begun to wear out. As my body bounced on the table he enquired "Oh sorry, can you feel that?" No, I thought getting a electric shock in the balls was normal. Next thing, the harpoon comes out again for another round.

    So yes, it hurt. But I was present at both my kids births, and I know out of me and my wife who got the better deal. Suck it up, fellas.

    Auckland • Since Oct 2010 • 95 posts Report

  • Speaker: Medical Journal, Chapter V,

    I would add:

    5. Time the snipping to coincide with a good sporting event on telly. For me it was the 1996 Olympics. If you are good at feigning acute discomfort, you should be able to lie on the couch for at least 3 days, whilst being served meals and refreshments.

    Auckland • Since Oct 2010 • 95 posts Report

  • Legal Beagle: Coalition of Losers, in reply to Lucy Stewart,

    "Nightmare scenario" in that a win by the NCP would scare a lot of jittery horses, just prior to the referendum.

    "Ironic" in that the valid formation of a new party under MMP, could lead to the demise of MMP.

    All very unlikely, however. I don't think our immigrant population vote like sheep, and I fully expect National to retain Botany (with Maggie Barry - she seems just the sort of new face Key would want).

    Auckland • Since Oct 2010 • 95 posts Report

  • Legal Beagle: Coalition of Losers,

    Polls suggest MMP is looking fairly safe. Unless the New Citizens Party wins the Botany by-election. It is ironic that this would be a nightmare scenario for the MMP referendum.

    Auckland • Since Oct 2010 • 95 posts Report

  • Legal Beagle: Coalition of Losers, in reply to Kyle Matthews,

    Everyone knows Nat/Act are wedded as coalition certainties, as are Lab/Greens. It is the floaters in the centre - previously NZF and now the Maori Party - that can determine the outcome of the election. These centre parties will never declare their coalation preferences in advance. It is simply not in their interests to do so.

    Auckland • Since Oct 2010 • 95 posts Report

  • Hard News: Floating the idea,

    I notice that kids that grew up at Piha, Bethells or Muriwai don't regard any of those beaches treachery as much of a big deal. A bit like farm kids who grow up with guns and quad-bikes.

    I also notice that the lifeguards at those beaches work harder than just about anywhere else.

    Auckland • Since Oct 2010 • 95 posts Report

  • Hard News: Floating the idea,

    Depending on where you live in West Auckland, is Piha or Muriwai really the closest ocean beaches? If you live at the Avondale end surely Takapuna beach or Mission Bay are really short, easy drives. And if you live closer to Westgate, then Mairangi Bay is just straight along Upper Harbour and Constellation drives. All three usually have some waves and far less likely to kill you (except for sewerage outflows after a storm!)

    Auckland • Since Oct 2010 • 95 posts Report

  • Legal Beagle: Coalition of Losers,

    It is a long-standing running joke among my family friends that I am the only person that voted for MMP, because they have never met anyone who admitted it (nor admit to voting for it themselves). Therefore, it is all my fault. I copped it all over again at Christmas.

    I have always thought that, over time, the voters would be less likely to split their votes, and that smaller parties would fall by the wayside. MMP would "mature" once voters got sick of the tail wagging the dog. I think the demise of NZF sort of bears this out.

    However, Graeme's bumper sticker has provided me the best reason to return to FPP that I have heard of. Maybe my family and friends were right after all.

    Auckland • Since Oct 2010 • 95 posts Report

  • Hard News: Floating the idea,

    I would prefer if the Council looked at a combined Auckland City / Auckland Schools programme to get all primary and intermediate school-age kids learning to swim. In some cases, this might include re-opening or building a school pool. If the goal is to reduce drownings, then this would be money better spent than on free entry to council owned wave pools such as West-wave, where there is never any actual swimming going on.

    The never-ending drownings of adults whilst fishing in the Manukau in small tinnies without life-jackets, or fishing off the rocks at Muriwai, is just Darwin's law of natural selection in action, I'm afraid.

    Auckland • Since Oct 2010 • 95 posts Report

  • Hard News: A few (more) words on The Hobbit,

    Another summary today at an industry webiste The Big Idea by Steve Hart:

    http://www.thebigidea.co.nz/news/industry-news/2010/nov/76976-concerning-hobbits

    Some good quotes from Helen Kelly and Tim Clarke, and also a "Hollywood insider" (very New Idea-ish, that).

    Auckland • Since Oct 2010 • 95 posts Report

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