Posts by Emma Hart
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Up Front: Casual, Shallow and Meaningless, in reply to Rich Lock,
We have discussed this before
Yeah, but that was over a year ago.
This perfectly-serviceable point aside, Russell meant he and I have had this conversation, re hairdressers, a couple of weeks ago. In private, once the topic of conversation became unsuitable for public consumption.
However. I do have a sterling couple of examples of awkward conversation between me and David recently, which I probably shouldn't mention.
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Up Front: Casual, Shallow and Meaningless, in reply to JacksonP,
If you don't want to know how I am, then don't ask me.
Also, "Busy day?" "Yeah, once I get home I have some porn to write, and then a stack of reading on the politics of BDSM. You?"
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Up Front: Casual, Shallow and Meaningless, in reply to Isabel Hitchings,
Oh I hear you! I cannot count the number of times I’ve said something I thought was a normal thing to say only to have the room descend into awkward silence.
This may have something to do with our shared socialisation context. It took me years to realise that the full-on snog was not an appropriate greeting outside of KAOS. Of course, then PAS introduced me to my Wellington friends, and I came full circle...
This encounter resonates so strongly with me.
My mother once said to me - only about a year ago - "Your friends who don't have children will never get it." And it's really stuck with me because, in general and particularly with sizeable-group-dynamic, I'm actually more comfortable with my childless friends because you don't wander into pits like that all the time. Also, I find it really hard dealing with people who can only talk about their kids, and I have enough purely-functional conversations about my own. I can only conclude that my mother never felt my near-constant need for two entire separate lives.
I should say, my hair does look fabulous. But this was my first professional colour, so the first time I'd been in the salon for two hours. My tweets became increasingly desperate.
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Hard News: Winning the RWC: it's complicated, in reply to Danielle,
(It's also why I'm not very good at dealing with 'performative disinterest' - I'm all sentimental about the family thing and get a bit quiet and hurt-feelings-y. Obviously the RWC and my grandfather aren't related, except in my tiny mind, so it's a completely illogical reaction.)
But, and I say this as someone whose cynicism is legendary, this is the root of "Don't be a dick about stuff you don't like." Because you never know what the personal, emotional associations are with the people who can hear you.
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Hard News: Winning the RWC: it's complicated, in reply to Simon Grigg,
It goes both ways.
Yeah, that was pretty much my point. And you can get over-reacted crabbiness from both "sides" which is down to their last half-dozen encounters rather than you. And I think it helps to understand that. I've blocked/filtered a few people and that's helped rather a lot.
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Hard News: Winning the RWC: it's complicated, in reply to Lucy Stewart,
You may not have, specifically, but a bunch of other people definitely have said things along those lines.
And "performative disinterest" is a great phrase. I'd add "performative ignorance" as well.
Weeks and weeks ago - like, before the games actually started - I suggested in a tweet that perhaps people who were sick of hearing about rugby (which I completely sympathise with) not read or comment on rugby-specific columns or articles. (I mean, if I genuinely don't care about something? You can tell, because I don't read or write about it.)
Now, I've talked a lot about sex, about kink, and gay rights, and feminism, and I have NEVER had anything close to the torrent of abuse I took for saying that. I'd get up in the morning, peek at my @replies, see it was still going, and close them up again.
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Hard News: Winning the RWC: it's complicated, in reply to Sacha,
but in Wellington would just be the traditional way to say hello
Have to stay warm somehow, right?
I motorboated both my Best Friends during the All Blacks Japan game. I was both in Wellington and not feeling the cold. We could have a theory going here...
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Hard News: Winning the RWC: it's complicated, in reply to Rich Lock,
Probably shouldn’t have treated the whole thing as an extended stag do for Mike Tindall, then. Dicks.
Yeah, the English had a Dick Incident. But I’ve never been able to work out what it was Mike Tindall did (besides marry a royal) that’s caused so much fuss.
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Okay. For the last few weeks, I've been occasionally winding up nervous rugby-loving friends by saying things like, "It's only Argentina, what could possibly go wrong?" or "There's no way we could wrench another groin, I mean, what are the odds?"
And last night, I swear I didn't breathe for about seventy minutes. I'm not just happy we won, I'm happy we won by playing really good rugby that was a pleasure to watch.
Next weekend, my partner and I will be in Nelson for a friend's birthday. I'm dragging Karl out on the Friday night so we can watch the "bronze final" in a pub. I don't know where we'll go but I already know how warm and good-spirited the atmosphere will be.
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Hard News: Winning the RWC: it's complicated, in reply to Danielle,
Would you rather I'd posted the dubstep version?