Posts by Craig Ranapia
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Hard News: Women and their representations, in reply to Hebe,
That Vogue thing: It could be because the editrixes are not trying to reflect their own lives but what they perceive to be their readers’ aspirations and secret fears; ie they want to sell mags
And being the house Tory, I have absolutely nothing against selling shit. Anna Wintour doesn't get paid US$2 million a year because she's a really nice lady who's worked for Conde Nast a really long time.
She runs a magazine with an average monthly circulation of 1.25 million and has the kind of ad/editorial ratio and page rates most industry execs would sacrifice their first born sons for.
But I'm not sure "it's what the readers want" isn't circle-jerky self-fufilling bullshit as often as not. It's 2012 - are fashionistas really nauseated by the sight of non-white models who've hit puberty and aren't size zero? Maybe they are, But US Vogue didn't go into receivership after putting a (gasp!) black model on the cover in August 1974. Elsewhere in the magazine world, the publishers of Men's Health (2011 av. monthly circulation of the US edition - a shade under 1.8 million) don't accept liquor or tobacco advertising - that was a choice too and that doesn't seem to have put readers off.
I know I'm dreaming, but I think it would make a real difference if Vogue put out a joint memo that they'd try running reality-sized editorial with a better range of "ethnic" (guess what that's code for) models for a while. Conde Nast might be surprised by the results - if only they had the corporate ovaries.
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Hard News: Women and their representations, in reply to TracyMac,
In terms of women’s magazines, Marie Claire is one I can stomach, because they write good meaty articles.
It’s the Vanity Fair Rationalization, which is descended from the “I buy Playboy for the stories and interviews – which I never ever whack off over” Plea. :)
But here's a fascinating and troubling conundrum. Pick up a copy of any edition of Vogue, arguably the most influential masthead in fashion media. Every picture ultimately selected by a group of female editors of whom the youngest is 45.(Grace Coddington the creative director of the US edition is 71). And to a woman they'd rather eat broken glass than put a contemporary on the cover.
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Huzzah, have finally cracked the Cosmo Basecode for Modern Women:
Fucking will drive you nuts - not that you're supposed to enjoy it anyway.
Everything else causes cancer.
Hate yourself, because everything you do is wrong.
Buy makeup.
See you next month.
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Hard News: Women and their representations, in reply to Russell Brown,
To which I would have to say “not necessarily” and “depends where you’re putting them”.
If someone’s treated your scrotum like a hacky-sack, it’s somewhat beside the point. They really need to stop, then take a vow of celibacy until the Cosmo sub expires. Seriously, that rag seems to be be the parish newsletter of licentious Puritanism. Why the hell would any woman want to fuck when it’s such a God-awful chore? (And did I just answer my own question?)
Or your ice water. Spritz, spritz!! That’s gotta get you excited. :-)
It's going to put your man off dry-humping the legs of the coffee table, anyway. Eventually.
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Hard News: Women and their representations, in reply to Russell Brown,
Oh people, I just have to share this: Jezebel on Cosmo’s 44 most ridiculous sex tips for ladies.
Which is hilariously awful, but I've got to admit some of them are downright creepy. Perhaps I'm missing something in my gay dudeness, but anyone who's going to manipulate my junk like it's a childproof cap on a bottle of drain cleaner is kind of missing the point of the exercise. Shagging is supposed to be mutually pleasurable, no? Not a scene from one of those Saw flicks..
Others need to be on another list: Signs you may be shagging a serial killer.
"Rent a horror movie and play it while you have sex. If they hear any screams, they'll assume it's the movie."
Trust me on this - playing porn during sex may not be as much fun as you'd think. Men are so easily distracted... Might want to give the horror movies a swerve for much the same reason.
"As you're eating dinner together, say something X-rated like, 'See how I'm devouring this piece of meat? That's how I'm going to devour you.'"
Not a good idea if your favourite sexy-time horror movie is The Silence of The Lambs or a George Romero marathon.
"When he's on his way home from work, start giving yourself some solo pleasure and 'accidentally' dial him up. All those breathy ooohs and aaahs will be motivation for him to get to you in time to join in on the action."
In certain jurisdictions, you're a misdial away from "accidentally" finding yourself on a sex offender's register. Hawt...
"Hide your turned-on vibrator in his sock drawer. When he figures out where the buzzing is coming from, tell him he gets to experience its pleasure power."
This would be a delightful way to pep up an episode of Target. Otherwise. No. Just no.
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Hard News: Women and their representations, in reply to Sacha,
The naturalness of the girls on Girls makes the women of Sex and the City look like drag queens.
Dear Sarah Macdonald: Fuck you very much. Please try being part of the solution instead of perpetuating the problem where women who don’t meet a certain idea of ‘appropriate’ are kinda, sorta not-quite women at all. (Might also want to do a literature search on "mannish women" as a sexist/misogynist putdown.)
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Hard News: Women and their representations, in reply to Jackie Clark,
This isn’t news to any woman. The words “weight loss” are so ingrained in our culture. Every one talks about losing weight, and even when women are strong feminists, fantastic mothers, admirable employers/ees – yes, they still talk about the parts of their bodies they hate.
Quite – and I really got my nose rubbed in it watching the premiere of Golden on Sunday night. I should be really jazzed about a prime time comedy created and written by women, right? Well… I would be if the first episode wasn’t a running mean-spirited fat gag – with some awkward dick jokes for equal opportunity whateverness.
To be fair, it might just be going for the same “broad as the side of a barn” spot as Kath ‘n’ Kim which just leaves me unmoved. But part of me also says “FFS, it’s 2012. Aren’t we supposed to be a bit beyond finding women who don’t look like emaciated stick insects intrinsically laughable?” Perhaps I'm missing something, and would welcome other points of view.
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Hard News: Drunk Town, in reply to Russell Brown,
I imagine he doesn’t get to Family bar a lot. But in context, it did seem that it was the reporter that had the hangup, not the mayor.
I thought so - anyone that severely traumatized by a flash of sequined drag queen (so to speak) wouldn't survive an afternoon door-knocking in South Auckland. Or three seconds in line of sight of Miss Buckwheat. and Miss Bertha.
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Hard News: Drunk Town, in reply to chris,
On that note one has to wonder what the mayor is getting at with:
Mr Brown and Mr Coster drive up to Karangahape Rd. A transvestite in a blue sequined dress, 15cm heels and a blonde wig walks out of the Family Bar and Mr Brown averts his eyes.
I was tempted to ask, but stopped for fear of being accused of Brown-bashing. I know a wall of undulating sequins after a hard day's night can make one a tad queasy, but that's only a crime against fashion. :)
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Hard News: Drunk Town, in reply to Keir Leslie,
And let’s be clear, this is a really legitimate thing. If you start up a business, the state shouldn’t be able to just shut it down on whim.
I don’t think anyone is saying that. I’m certainly not.
But I’m the kind of bear of little brain who thinks if you start up a business – whether it be a bank or a local watering hole – you actually have to play by the rules. All of them, and not just the ones that are convenient or easily profitable.
There’s the other side of the equation as well: If regulators can’t – or won’t – enforce those rules, perhaps it’s better to just come out of the deregulated closet and stop deluding ourselves. Or to be fair, if current regulations are genuinely unworkable (and I’d take a LOT of convincing on that score but, as Joan Armatrading sez, I'm open to persuasion) then rip ’em up and start again.
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