Posts by Emma Hart

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  • Up Front: The Up Front Guide to Internet…, in reply to william blake,

    I don’t quite understand, was he pretending to be Scottish or pretending to not be Scottish?

    He was pretending to be Scottish. (Not my story, someone else's.) When called on it, he said it made him more interesting and he didn't think she would mind. The woman involved said he must have been sitting there at his keyboard furiously googling Scottish stuff while they messaged.

    OKCupid is actually very good because they have questions like “when is it ok to rape someone” and “when should you use intimate partner violence” etc, but words them so that arseholes are more likely to answer honestly

    QFT. Things like, "Would you let your identical twin pretend to be you so they could have sex with your partner?" And people will answer yes.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4588 posts Report Reply

  • Up Front: The Up Front Guide to Internet…, in reply to Lynn Yum,

    These sites don’t earn money based on success rate, only access to other members of their sites.

    There is a fantastic episode of the Allusionist podcast about this. Basically, dating sites don't want you to find your Forever Person, because then you leave the site.

    They want to match you well enough, so that you’ve got dates to go on; but again, the business model incentivises them not to match you perfectly, every single time. If they had a magical algorithm that really worked, that would obviate the need for a monthly subscription, or a six-month-long package, or a year-long package.

    It honestly doesn't bother me, though, and not just because I never give a dating site money. Also... just after I joined OKC, it gave me a 96% match with someone I had already been in a relationship with, and they were Not Wrong.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4588 posts Report Reply

  • Up Front: The Up Front Guide to Internet…, in reply to Chopper,

    it seems to be a great way to meet a life partner who is well suited

    One of the reasons I prefer to use OKCupid as opposed to, say, FindSomeone, is that it gives you so much more information about someone before you decide whether or not to engage with them. Guys have messaged me, and I look at their questions and they've said, yes, women are obliged to shave their legs, men should be the heads of their households, gay people are yucky, etc. Saves me a lot of time. (Also, OKC is the only site I've used whose algorithms cope with bisexual people.)

    It certainly seems safer than the traditional "go to a party get wasted hook up" method of meeting people. Though that has also worked for me.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4588 posts Report Reply

  • Hard News: Public Address Word of the…,

    Stiff competition this year, but I feel I must put in a vote for 'shit-weasel'.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4588 posts Report Reply

  • Speaker: David Shearer: The one that…,

    Actually, staying with movie stars, it’s tempting to think of Shearer not as Firth (way too buttoned up) or Willis, but as Jimmy Stewart in Vertigo. Confused about the true nature of the world he finds himself in but determined to help. Determined, moreover, that his own decency will save the day. And yet, fatally, besotted with something he doesn’t understand.

    I don't want to derail or anything, but Jimmy Stewart's character in Vertigo is a horrible person.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4588 posts Report Reply

  • Hard News: The fake news problem, in reply to BenWilson,

    I do rather feel America deserves what they voted for. Sometimes the hard way is the only way to learn.

    Except that, y'know, most of them didn't, and the people who will suffer the most are the ones who were least likely to vote for him.

    Otherwise I'd be really happy for Canada to build a wall and just leave the fuckers to it.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4588 posts Report Reply

  • Up Front: Giving It the Bish,

    We have an answer. The answer is no, Tamaki CANNOT claim a rebate on people’s donations to Rainbow Youth. Have at it.

    Also

    "IRD says it can't comment on specific cases, but anyone who knowingly makes a claim for tax credit they haven't made is liable for a $25,000 fine for providing false information. "

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4588 posts Report Reply

  • Hard News: The fake news problem, in reply to Farmer Green,

    Not having read a book for a long time , I observed that I was not the only one of whom it could be said pejoratively “does not read books”.

    Did you notice, at any point, that this was an address to writers? Of, y'know, books? The whole thing is about what writers can do. If these people don't read books, then how can we, as writers of books, get through to them?

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4588 posts Report Reply

  • Up Front: Giving It the Bish, in reply to oga,

    Before you consider donating to Rainbow Youth under Tamaki’s name and email address, please note that they will get a partial refund on your donation under the tax-exemption laws.

    I have heard many, many conflicting things about this. Someone I generally trust to Know Their Shit (but who is not a tax expert) said that if they do try to claim refunds for donations they didn't make, they will be committing tax fraud.

    To be on the safe side, I would suggest using "Destiny Church" as the name rather than Tamaki's, as the church can't claim refunds because hey, it doesn't pay any fucking tax.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4588 posts Report Reply

  • Hard News: The fake news problem, in reply to Rich Lock,

    To paraphrase a quote generally attributed to Winston Churchill, “a lie gets liked and shared half a million times before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.”

    I keep thinking about the key-note address Chris Cleave gave at the National Writers’ Forum. It was basically all about this. (Long quote, which I wouldn’t normally do, but it’s worth it, I think.)

    This kind of evil does not listen to reason, does not acknowledge science, does not defer to expertise or experience, does not doubt its own convictions, does not read books. And this is the world we writers are working in now. We who grew up to cherish empathy and compassion and beauty and precision. We who learned, over thousands of meticulous hours, to encode those things not just into our plots and our pages and our paragraphs, but into every careful sentence.

    We learned to respect the reader, didn’t we? To give them a little space to think and to dream. We learned to acknowledge that people might come to our pages with a bigger life than our own. We learned to be humble and to use tiny little things, like commas, to give readers a great big thing, like, a pause, for breath.

    But we write in a breathless world now. Furious reaction follows outrageous event without a moment for reflection. By the time any of us can write a thousand considered words about a thing, the agenda has long moved on. In this climate reason is redundant, beauty skin deep, memory obsolete. And so hate becomes the dominant voice simply because hate takes far less time to express.

    And so hate hates Mexicans, then women, then Moslems, then the European Union, then Obama, then gun control, then me, then you. But you could give hate the exact things it was screaming for – and you could annihilate all those things that hate hates – and hate would just hate you for doing it.

    That’s why hate is dangerous – because it can never stop. It’s a shark and it drowns if it ever stops swimming. Britain isn’t in trouble because of Brexit. Britain is in trouble because its leaders released hate in order to get Brexit, and now hate is in the tank with us, and swimming.

    He goes on to make five suggestions, the first one of which is, stand for something, rather than against everything.

    This speech was given after Brexit, but before Trump’s election. I really needed to re-read it.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4588 posts Report Reply

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