Posts by Danielle
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Speaker: The problem of “horror tenants”…, in reply to Matthew Poole,
A landlord whose property is damaged by tenants can seek a judicial remedy which is enforceable through the courts.
That is true, but it doesn't guarantee that the landlord actually gets any money back. My grandfather's estate is still waiting for any repayment of the $5000 in back rent and damages (which included shit and urine stains on the floor of every room) from a... problematic... tenant. (His house was rented out to partly pay for his rest home care, so it wasn't exactly a money-spinning exercise in the first place.)
*On the other hand*, I rented some flats in inner city suburbs in my youth which were in pretty poor repair, and there were some really *weird* professional landlords floating about who didn't lodge the bond properly, never bothered fixing anything, and always seemed to turn up at the property without notice and lurk around suspiciously. The unequal power relationship didn't go unnoticed.
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Hard News: The People's Poet is dead!, in reply to Ian Dalziel,
It's just getting dark in London
and raining, there's no-one on
the real crossing at the moment...
but it can be quite diverting over
our antipodean evenings.I've done it. I am not ashamed. :)
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That's not a problem with the concept of triggering, it's a problem with its use. The concept itself is useful and I don't think it should be dismissed.
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Up Front: Lighting the Dark, in reply to Hilary Cameron,
reading writehanded girl’s recent post on Yes All Women ( TW, if you venture to those posts)
Christ. I mean, I know intellectually this happens all the time. Lesser versions of these things have happened to me, even. Why am I so shocked every time?
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Up Front: Lighting the Dark, in reply to Craig Ranapia,
That's why the "you're being so dramatic about this, the risks are lower than you think, not all women are victims, it's all in your head" brigade are sort of missing the point. You're damn right it's in my head. It's ALWAYS somewhere in my head. That's how successfully we're colonised by fear and threats. Even if nothing "that bad" ever happens to you, there you are with your weaponised car keys and your worries about writing in public and your risk assessment strategies. It's so tiring.
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Up Front: Lighting the Dark, in reply to Moz,
Sorry, maybe you didn't mean it the way it sounded to me, which was "keep going with the flirting even if they're obviously not interested". "Persuading" is one of those mildly worrying words, I guess?
(I should probably note that I barely remember how this works in practice. I've been in a monogamous relationship since 1998. ;) )
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Up Front: Lighting the Dark, in reply to Grant McDougall,
Of course, without the guns he probably wouldn't have killed people (or at least that many people). But I think the point is more that the shootings are an almost logical endpoint of MRA culture. I'm not using that #YesAllWomen hashtag on Twitter because, frankly, I'm scared of being threatened, and no matter how likely it is that those threats are empty, they're part of what happens to us when we talk online, and they're part of what happens to us when we reject sexual advances. Misogyny: to coin a phrase, we're soaking in it.
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Up Front: Lighting the Dark, in reply to Moz,
persuading them to want to flirt back
Or... maybe not doing that.
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Up Front: Lighting the Dark, in reply to Carol Stewart,
I think perhaps I would find them less awful if they weren't so SUFFOCATING. I run out of tactful/funny ways to say "I think that's a quality shared by lots of children, not just boys or girls", because who wants to be the party pooper while everyone commiserates humourously about their child's supposedly inherent gendered qualities? And it's not like I'm a model gender-neutral parent anyway. It's really hard.
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I dunno, Steven. There are a lot of perfectly intelligent people who make Every Single Relationship Thing about "men are like this, women are like that". All men. All women. All boys. All girls. We must "other" that gender, or chaos will ensue! It starts at fucking postnatal coffee groups and it never ends. (I'm totally not bitter about it at all, you understand.)