Posts by Joe Wylie

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  • Hard News: Morning in Auckland,

    Bazza's original strip in Private Eye was written by renowned cross-dresser Barry Humphries . . .

    That got me thinking about Bazza's early career -

    The Dadaist pranks and performances he mounted in Melbourne were experiments in anarchy and visual satire which have become part of Australian folklore. One famous exhibit entitled "Pus In Boots" consisted of a pair of Wellington boots filled with custard.

    - which immediately had me thinking of Paul Henry.

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 4593 posts Report

  • Hard News: Morning in Auckland,

    "So in that spirit I apologise unreservedly to Sir Anand and his family, he is a very distinguished man I am a gippo television presenter."
    What exactly is PH saying here??

    Hadn't heard that one in a while. Not since The Adventures of Barry McKenzie (1972), where Bazza famously observes "when it comes to fleecing you, the Poms have got the edge on the gyppos!"

    Suspect Henry's been mining that ancient movie for material. According to the theme song lyrics, "he's got a great big grin and a great big chin, he's a better man than you are, Gunga Din". Those diehard Henry fans who believe that he merely channels their innermost thoughts would no doubt find this side-splitting, provided they don't twig that it was intended as parody:

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 4593 posts Report

  • Hard News: Morning in Auckland,

    Around 20 years ago an offender with a fairly common anglo name appeared before Judge Avinash Deobhakta. He'd pleaded guilty to stealing a street sign because it happened to be the same as his surname. Probably due to the contrition he showed, the judge allowed as to how he might well have been tempted to do something similar in his younger days, only he'd never happened upon a Deobhakta Street.

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 4593 posts Report

  • Hard News: Morning in Auckland,

    . . . let's have an informed conversation about it.

    As distinct from a TVNZ-sanctioned "debate", complete with Buzzy Freaking Bee.

    Bloody hairy-arsed monuments to self-importance.

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 4593 posts Report

  • Hard News: Morning in Auckland,

    Worse has been said by better like what Bob Parker about the Addington Relief centre evictee family.

    Having encountered some of those very people while staying in the then Addington Relief Centre, I'd rate that particular mouthfart pretty far down the list of the many compelling reasons to dump Parker.

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 4593 posts Report

  • Hard News: Hobbit Wars,

    . . . do I want to see an industry that employs thousands of people collapse (and have them going on the dole)? No I don't, and don't see that helping our public services either.

    I think you've already made that pretty plain. Industries always collapse locally when they go elsewhere. I know, it's happened to me. Having got to know and helped to train some of my low-wage replacements, I had no appetite left for a pointless tribal stoush. Seriously, if this comes down to a Kiwi vs. Czech (or whoever) race to the bottom, shouldn't all those thousands who'll benefit should the local industry win this round be looking to some kind of longer-term alternative once production's over?

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 4593 posts Report

  • Hard News: Hobbit Wars,

    I've also heard from a reliable source that now that The Hobbit is 'on the market' -- potentially looking around for a 'film friendly' home to shoot in -- the studio is being aggressively courted by nations that would be delighted to have this multi multi million dollar film set up there.

    Earlier this year I was present at a meeting where an assessor for the local Hospital Board attempted to determine an elderly relative's suitability for full-time care. I was told that such care now needed to be rationed, and was a little taken aback to be told that, in the supposedly politically impartial assessor's view, this was largely Labour's fault, as they'd been overly generous in allocating such care in the past.

    As the shortfall that she cited in the local health budget was rather minuscule compared to the then recently revealed amount of Government assistance to the producers of Avatar, I was rather underwhelmed by her argument. In light of that, it's a little hard to get worked up over the fate of The Hobbit.

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 4593 posts Report

  • Legal Beagle: He is Henry the Eighth, he…,

    No mention of any outside involvment from the Mayor or Council, no clergy that I'm aware of. Not a word of any outside sanction . . . Or was this the Running of the Goats?

    Police Parade Goat As Robbery Suspect

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 4593 posts Report

  • Hard News: Hobbit Wars,

    Real estate agents . . .

    I recall John Clarke saying that, unlike actors, appearance isn't important for real estate agents, though it wouldn't hurt to have gold teeth and laugh lines around your pockets.

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 4593 posts Report

  • Hard News: Hobbit Wars,

    The reconditioning practices of Pav Love combined with Hobbit-forming substances . . .

    Hot footage from the Hobbit re-education camp, or just another Japanese petting zoo?

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 4593 posts Report

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