Posts by Sarah Horth
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My best response to being hassled by men was when I was down at Otago many years ago - me and the girls would reply to what ever drunken sexist crap that would come our way by getting down to their level by saying: 'show us your dick' and invariably they would (almost every time!)...so we'd just point and laugh. Got rid of them pretty quickly :)
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Anyway off to Nordstrom Rack to buy shoes :)
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Thanks Danielle - that was exactly how I felt!
I tried ever so hard to keep it light and 'oh well I disagree, but we can agree education is important' (our views on what kind of education of course were completely different) but she wasn't going to leave it alone. Apparently so many young women have abortions over and over and it's not a hard decision to make at all. We all have to teach abstinence because if you are responsible enough to have sex, you have be responsible enough to have a baby...etc etc. Just after we had finished the brownies, everything had been pretty good til then!
It felt like all the unsaid stuff has been fermenting inside me. So hard to be polite at a dinner party when someone is trying to poison you - gah! I will not be able to bite my tongue again.
Giovanni - very funny!!! Thank you.
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I came home last night after being trapped at a dinner party by a pro-lifer/anti abortion woman. I never thought I would be so badly affected by the sanctimonious and unforgiving rant of a privileged woman who has been with the same man since 19 and never worked. It shook me - I need to toughen up as this is the US.
Came home and read the rest of this thread, as I needed contact with sanity. Thanks all :)
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At 3am, no doesn't mean no? I'm not interested, means something else?
Would you feel equally as happy with people's right to express themselves, if they happen to have their hands all over your date?
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Be still my beating heart...beautiful! Nordstrom is from Seattle! I usually spend about 2 hours at Nordstrom Rack (the outlet store) trying on shoes when I get there. I have held off until now this trip, but can see this is not going to last
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Or some of those god damn sexy shoes that I am thinking about breaking into my piggy bank to buy *sigh*
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I thought Danielle that we might translate it to something that might be understood by a guy:
You are out on a hot date, that you have planned for a month. Finally the night is here, you are cosied up in a corner booth in a bar, sipping your drinks, and talking love talk. Then 3 guys come up to your table and start chatting. Fine you think, but not tonight 'hey guys, we just want some one-on-one tonight', but it is like they have never heard you. One of them even pulls up a chair and sits down. They leer at your date, keep talking. So you try again: 'hey, do you mind leaving us alone? It's date night' but again, ignored! The guy sitting next to your date moves his hand to his/her knee. She removes it. He laughs - 'Aw come on!' You really don't want to spoil your date night by getting angry, but you can't work out why these guys won't go away, and then another sits down next to you and puts his arm around you and gives you a squeeze, whispering something disgusting in your ear.
I can't be bothered to go on, but really would that be fine? Ages later you get rid of them by getting angry only to have another group come along 10 minutes later. Oh happy days.
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PS love the shoes. I have a growing urge to go out shopping :)
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Angus,
Can I give you an example of something that is not so unusual - it is not 'hindering' nor 'harming' but it lacks respect and is a pain in the arse.
Being in a bar on a girls’ night (sorry can’t remember what we were wearing, but something fabulous no doubt) and having some random guys try to talk to you, and we politely say, ‘we’re not interested, on a girls’ night.’ And them keep on hanging on and trying for another 20 minutes or so, while we keep on saying ‘please leave us alone’ until we have to say literally - fuck off (and we had to say 'fuck off' about 10 times and in the end with gestures- I am not joking). These guys weren't particularly drunk, were nicely dressed, not sick or threatening harm. But THEY WOULD NOT LEAVE US ALONE.
Now you might think this is OK because there is no hinder nor harm, and play around with words and say 'oh they weren't harassing you, but you were being harassed' (what does that mean anyway?) but can you imagine going out and having this happen to you? Over and over again, intruding into your space, your conversation, and sometimes your body - until you have to be rude to get rid of them, and even then it doesn't always work. You might not think respect is important, but I do.
Agreed with all above about a little education about respecting people's requests would go a long way. I like to chat to people in bars, but if they aren't interested I leave them alone, be nice to be treated the same way.