Posts by BenWilson
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Legal Beagle: Paula's Peril; or The…, in reply to Danielle,
Word, sister.
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I do rather feel that Cunliffe wants the job more. That's worth something in itself.
I don't really buy the idea that Labour's weak performance over 3 years is all down to Cunliffe's long game. I never heard much from Shearer either. Or anyone in Labour, most especially its leader.
My preference will never happen, which is that they delay the choice, until it is clear what game Key is playing, and that Labour display ALL the talents they have, everywhere they can, until the voice of this cycle is found. It might not be the binary we are presented with, two old rich white guys, to stack up against National's old rich white guy, after all.
For a party that has had collective power as it's supposed support for it's entire life, it sure doesn't manage itself internally anything like that. What it looks like is a corporation. If they wonder why I didn't vote for them, this leadership contest is a good exemplar of precisely what I dislike about Labour.
Right now, I'd like to know what Labour stands for. I'd like to know how committed they are to the policy platform they stood on, and what their serious answers are to NZ's problems. "Here's a guy" isn't an answer.
I'm also sorry to say this, but Goff is the reason what is happening is happening now. He doesn't have to quit now. That was a stupid idea, deeply irresponsible, in my opinion. As the leader he could be doing one hell of a lot more to make this period of time a really useful one for Labour, rather than nobly falling on his sword.
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Interested scenario, Graeme. I would be surprised, though, if an election petition didn't actually strengthen the National vote - the voters most at risk of being challenged out are the ones who move around (ie renting) and students who may be living away from home as they study. Both of these demographics seem more likely not to vote National, to me.
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Hard News: Democracy Night, in reply to Clint Fern,
Great that MMP is retained, needs to be changed to stop the Key/Banks/Dunne behaviour of this time round though - any solutions?
There's a few solutions, although an obvious one even without reform is for the left to simply do the same damned thing. Endorse an ex-Labour candidate in a new party, let's call it the "Center Left Party", advising Labour voters to split. With a few of these in the Labour strongholds, Epsom is neutralized.
I'd rather this didn't happen, because it is ridiculous and would cause overhangs, but if ACT is going to continue playing this game with National...
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Hard News: Democracy Night, in reply to Sacha,
Quite. Voters managed to find a 'no confidence' option
Most people I've spoken to who voted this way did so because they wanted MMP and it wasn't one of the options. It did rather annoy me how bloody minded these people were, given that there was a small chance that the system could have bloody well changed back to FPP. There were 3 other better systems, although, yes, none as good as MMP, IMHO. Essentially, they were too lazy to think about it.
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You said you were a 19-year-old virgin at the time, and in the same situation I would no doubt have been scared witless too.
I wasn't scared witless. I just wasn't attracted by that approach.
But I think that older, more experienced men value sexual confidence and forthrightness in a woman.
It didn't strike me as confident.
A combination of performance pressure, a slut-shaming upbringing, the suspicion that it can't be real and an expectation that your first should be special (more generalisations) would naturally make young inexperienced men afraid of such an advance.
Yes, lot of generalizations there. I'm sure there's plenty of guys that would, even on their first go, have thought that was just cool, exactly like a Playboy story. I'm not one of them, and it doesn't require that I fit any of those stereotypes. It just requires me not to be a walking penis.
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Up Front: The Up Front Guides:…, in reply to Sofie Bribiesca,
Let's face it, you are pretty polite.;)
Which can just be wimpy. It was a really strange approach, but the thing that most makes me think it was a setup was the following action - I did attempt to strike up conversation, to find out what the fuck was up, but after the rejection of the first blunt offer, she refused to speak any further. I did think that maybe I was the target of some kind of bet which she had lost outright. If so, I'm glad I didn't go through with it.
I only tell this story to show that even horny straight men can be put off by the wrong approach, even by an attractive woman. I can't be sure that I didn't miss out on the love of my life, but that kind of action isn't the kind of thing I like in anyone (the sudden swing from wanting a fuck to not even wanting to talk), so I doubt it.
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But if someone explicitly said to me "God, I really need someone to [redacted] my [censored] tonight", and I was at least moderately attracted to her, such forthrightness would be a massive turn-on. Confident sexuality is sexy; desperation is not.
I had something like this happen to me once, it was really bizarre. A girl in a bar, totally out of the blue, who I had had no interaction with of any kind, asked me to take her home, in front of all her friends and a whole bunch of mine. I presumed it was a joke, and said "your place or mine", to which it was an instant "yours". I lost the humor a little and asked "Why? What for?", to which she said "What do you think? To fuck".
Now at this point I was still a virgin, and not exactly stoked about that, and I found the girl attractive to look at, but that was a real turn off. I refused, to the surprise of all the hormonal males around me, saying something that on reflection came across all wrong "No, I don't think you want to try that with a guy like me". What I actually meant was "No, there's no way I'm going to let some random stranger into a car with me, and take them back to my parents place, without even fucking talking to them a little bit first". Her response "OK then", and she promptly ignored me from then on.
To be honest, at the time, I wondered if it was a setup, some kind of stupid team prank. Or it could have been nothing more or less that what she said, and I just missed out on a fun night. Can't be sure. But really, I did indeed feel it was likely that if I had gone back with her, it wouldn't have worked out well.
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Up Front: The Up Front Guides:…, in reply to Emma Hart,
So, person A feels attracted to person B because B is displaying attraction to them. But what made B attracted to A? That comes first, it has to.
Chicken/egg problem.
Answer: Attraction forms a feedback loop. Humans are strange attractors of each other.
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Up Front: The Up Front Guides:…, in reply to Isaac Freeman,
More than anything else, people are attracted to people who seem to be attracted to them.
It's good to hear that the human race is sane.
Perhaps 'The Art of War' is due for a re-write as one of those daft relationship guides, like 'the rules', or 'the game'. Anyone know a decent publisher?
I'm amazed it hasn't been done. Quick!
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