Posts by BenWilson
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Up Front: It's Not Sex, and It's Not Education, in reply to Sacha,
instead of saying "condoms suck" you are saying "here are some things to try to improve your condom-using experience".
Indeed, although I also think quite different approaches should probably be used for men and for women. For starters, it might help if there were a lot more male sex educators.
Happened to you, or happens to a lot of people? Those are different things, and you're not showing any evidence of the latter. Just a lot of repetition of the former.
Do you have any statistics to the contrary? Show me the statistics on why it is that condoms don't get used, and in particular when it results from male lack of interest. Show me that you've done any research into the matter at all. All you've done is repeatedly deny my experience is of relevance.
I've searched for research on the subject and it's not easy to find - always the questions are about the level of sexual education of the subjects, rather than their reasons in their words. In other words, they've prejudged the relevance of the reasons. But here's one interesting one.
That would have been useful to me to have known in the mid 90s. I had thought that it was quite uncommon what I was going through. Now I understand that unsatisfying sex in a large number of instances is exactly what condom use is all about. Good to know. I feel like less of a freak.
No-one is arguing for teenagers to not be told things.
Um, when you said:
Does that mean we have conversations with kids about relative risk and how seatbelts don't always stop you dying? No. We don't. Our public education message is that they need to wear a seatbelt. If they dislike seatbelts so much it makes them not want to go places, then we teach them to ride a bike or take the bus.
you appeared to be arguing that kids should not be told things. I'm not entirely sure what you meant in this analogy by riding a bike or taking a bus, however, because it seems to be suggesting that I should have been taught simply not to have sex, or perhaps to have it only with my hand, or the girls hand, or only when I'm already somehow in a committed relationship. Can I ask you to elaborate on what you meant by this?
You have a very odd definition of "low", when it comes to disease risk.
I worked out from your article that the chances of harm from chlamydia was around 3 in 10,000 for men and about 1 in 1000 for women. I couldn't be sure in the case of women whether I should have multiplied in 5% once again since their statistics for the main kinds of serious damage were based on multiple occurrences of infection. I'd thought it was much, much higher than that, but it's good to get the evidence, thank you. I may be misreading it though - it's not clear to me what the base rate of people who have been infected at some time during their lives was - the data seemed to be saying how many are infected now. Any insights from your scientific mind would be helpful.
How would you slow the increase in STDs in New Zealand?
Easy one. More screening, and education about getting screened. Screening should be free, and easy to get, and treatment would ideally be free too. Particularly at-risk communities should be targeted - in NZ Maori and PI have very high rates.
Sex education should continue, obviously. More is better. Simple un-nuanced messages are OK as a start but I think we can do better now. More males doing it might help too. I've got no real opinion about mass education for the gay, though, that seems fraught.
And research continues into alternatives, many of which are promising. Powerful spermicides would seem to be a possibility. Better condom technology continues - it's been a long time since I tried one.
Lastly, conversations just like the one we've been having here. I'm sure these continue apace, but I guess I'm saying that education is as much about listening as dictating message bites. It's not easy, and I have a lot of respect for good teachers.
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Up Front: It's Not Sex, and It's Not Education, in reply to Lucy Stewart,
Interesting indeed. I had no idea the rates of chlamydia were so low, and the chances of actual damage given the infection also so low.
Does that mean we have conversations with kids about relative risk and how seatbelts don't always stop you dying? No. We don't.
I disagree. It's good for kids to know that seatbelts don't make them invulnerable.
I don't disagree that the general message to young people should be "try to wear a condom as much as possible, it substantially reduces your chances of some sexually transmitted diseases". But there's danger in refusing to acknowledge the problems with condoms. The obvious danger is that they will simply not be used when the problems arise. This is not a hypothetical danger, it is in fact exactly what happens.
Rates of STIs are high in NZ. Some of that might be down to unsafe sexual practices, but some of it might also be down to poor screening and treatment accessibility and education, so undiagnosed people go around infecting people for lengthy periods.
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Up Front: It's Not Sex, and It's Not Education, in reply to Ross Mason,
Yes, and who in NZ would accuse someone of being a fanny-lancer? People would be stoked.
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Up Front: It's Not Sex, and It's Not Education, in reply to Paul Campbell,
Yeah, but that was before HIV ...
You're thinking of monkeys. Teddy bears can still go at it with wild abandon. Monkeys shouldn't, but I'm sure they do. I expect HIV is the least of their worries, they've got problems enough as it is.
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Hard News: Auckland, so much enormity to…, in reply to LegBreak,
How many Subs to change a lightbulb? Depending on how long the leash the Dom gives, it could be either one, or impossible.
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Gawd, there's one I've never heard used that way: Gadabout.
I just sang The Teddybear's Picnic to my kids before lights out. Suddenly:
You'll see them gayly gadabout
they love to play and shout
they never have any cares...has a whole new meaning.
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The first one that leaped to my mind was gagging for it.
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Plenty of synonyms. My favorite "Epicurean". I can only think of one Epicurean, apart from Epicurus - Dido - and she certainly was horny. One particularly epicurean girl in my classics class "accidentally" read out her name as "Dildo" during a recital of the Aeneid. Also "Penis Aeneas". He was a bit of a dick, so it was apt.
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Up Front: It's Not Sex, and It's Not Education, in reply to Nat,
If the two people are teenagers and there's any ambivalence about the decision, I'd bet this is when they do it.
Yes, to be safe, they need to be doing it when they're not horny, and using a condom. I can recommend the contraceptive power of this approach.
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Field Theory: Rugby World Cup stories, in reply to Chris Bowden,
FTW, man. And both my kids have both AB and Wallaby bling. Love them Ozzie chicks, and my one in particular!
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