Posts by Deborah
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I've had to read the whole post and the whole thread now, after having successfully avoided the sports posts ever since they started. The problem is that I am an atheist about sport (too).
Getting back to that Adrienne Rich quote that Giovanni referred to upthread, and reading it charitably, she's got a point. Not so much the idea that all women are coerced into being heterosexual, which on a plain reading is what she's saying, and I don't have any sympathy for that view.
But more charitably, the idea that we assume heterosexuality, and that all our institutions are designed for heterosexuality, and that in turn creates and / or reinforces heterosexuality, is much more compelling. That's why it's plausible, and helpful, to talk about heterosexuality as a socio-political construct. NB: it's not just a socio-political construct - clearly there are other dimensions to heterosexuality.
Rich's wording is not helpful: she talks about "women", implying "all women" when it might have been better to talk about "some women".
Hugs to y'all, especially Giovanni, for dragging me onto a sports thread.
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Whether purposefully or not I'm unsure, but Deborah has published today a highly pertinent installment of her Friday Feminist series.
Sheer chance. I queued up a couple of months' worth of Friday Feminist posts before the Christmas break, and this happened to be the one that I queued for today, about five weeks ago.
Also, this is how I explain the purpose of my on-going Friday Feminist series:
Each week I post a “Friday Feminist” or a “Friday Womanist” quote. In some cases I agree with what the writer says, and in others, I don’t. Sometimes the quote I have chosen reflects something I am thinking about, sometimes it reflects current events, sometimes it commemorates a person’s life and death, sometimes it elucidates the history of feminist thinking, sometimes it is something I find confronting. The main criteria are that the writing is feminist (broadly construed) or womanist, and interesting.
As Sacha said upthread:
It's interesting to read Adrienne Rich from 30 years ago and realise how far the discourse has come.
Cheers!
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Hmmm... I think it's perfectly possible to make a moral judgement that someone is negligent, or wasteful, and at the same time give that person the same access to medical care as everyone who is not negligent, or wasteful. It's just very, very difficult to do.
By analogy, you see some kid on hir skateboard, doing risky stuff, and zie falls off, injuring hirself badly. I'm quite capable of saying to myself, "Bloody stupid thing to do, kid", and at the same time racing over to give whatever help I can. My guess is that most people have very much the same reaction. I think that Dyan is asking us to extend that type of reaction to the slow-motion crashes of binge-drinking and the like. Of course it's a damn-fool thing to do, and now that you have made a damn fool of yourself, what can we do to help?
It could be helpful to think in terms of "stupid thing to do" rather than "stupid person".
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As for the people I love - my husband of nearly 20 years, through plenty of ups and downs, and my mum and dad and one exceedingly cool uncle. A few nights ago we all had dinner together - the first time I have had all my very favouritest people in the same room for about five or six years, I think. It was a special evening for me.
And then there's my beautiful daughters. For many years, as we battled our way through infertility, Christmas was very hard for me, as yet again sang masses of carols about a new baby, and still my arms were empty. The hardest of all was the one when we had just had our first cycle of fertility treatment, and a couple of days before Christmas, we found it had failed. I drowned my sorrows that year. But then a month or so later, we found that at last we had been lucky, and in October that year, we held our darling daughter in our arms. She was, and is, so beautiful.
It took us a little longer to get pregnant the second time around - seven cycles of despair, and we were on the point of giving up. One more trip down to the clinic in Wellington, and then waiting, waiting, waiting, thinking that if this cucle failed, there would be only one more. But it didn't fail. We didn't talk about it for a few days, until eventually, we got up the courage to do the test. My doctor sent us off for a very early scan, given all the drugs I had been on (wretched things, and when I was on them, yo-yos looked stable in comparison to me), and to my delight, we found that we were expecting twins. How lucky can you be?
Eleven and eight years later, my beautiful daughters still fill me with wonder and delight, and my heart still does a funny squeezy thing when I see them after I, or they, have been away for a day or two. Six in the morning on Saturdays... not so much of the squeeziness, but I love them dearly all the same. They make my heart sing.
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@ Sarah H, Danielle - I'm so sorry.
I met two lovely women today, IRL, for the first time. Julie Fairey, who comments here occasionally, and writes at The Hand Mirror, who is interesting and insightful, and bloody hell, why do I have to fly back to Adelaide tomorrow when I would far rather stay here. And the gorgeous Jackie Clark. Funny, golden heart, big smile, possessed of vices and virtues that I admire enormously. You should all try to meet her. Now, if possible.
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Or is that PASistas?
PAS-sisters? (A little exclusionary, maybe.)
What is the collective noun for this community?
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It's been a very good PAS year for me personally, because I have got to meet so many of you
And one more to come, Jackie! /giggles with glee
Many thanks, PAS Systemistas. It has been a great year.
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@Craig
Many thanks for those marvellous YouTube clips.
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I think the use of the word retarded is fine but retard is derogatory .
I really don't see the difference (other than adjective/noun) when they are applied in a way meant to insult and disparage.
There's a post at FWD/Forward that discusses why "retard" / "retarded" is problematic: Ableist Word Profile: Retarded
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OTOH, I have gay friends who might refer to themselves as "faggots". It's all about context.
By analogy, perhaps a person with learning difficulties referring to herself as 'retarded' is one thing, but another person using the word 'retarded' in reference to her is another.