Posts by Ian Dalziel

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  • Up Front: Boobs!,

    Libertine-agers...

    Mutton dressed as lamb

    Skinks doused in Lynx
    or even
    Roué dressed as Roe

    Christchurch • Since Dec 2006 • 7953 posts Report

  • Up Front: Boobs!,

    a touching matter...

    Ah, I remember fondley Miss Higgs Bosons behind the cyclotron shed.

    Steampunk'd again! verily, I too miss those halcyon days of the old-school yard (just under a metre now - 0.9144) and magnetic playing fields... and just having "no particle place to be..."
    I'll split then...

    size matters... er, sighs, mutters...

    I'm glad women are using boobquake and brainquake together, as that deals to the rather nasty prejudice where large-breasted women are perceived as being stupider than their smaller-chested colleagues. Or my initial thought, that was I being asked yet again to choose between having low-cut tops, or a brain.

    A simple evolutionary side step would solve this, with women having their left and right brains divided between their breasts, thus large breasts = large brains - ergo a breast reduction would not be enlightenment and some of our finest female legal minds would correctly be admitted to the bra...
    sadly then, flattery would get you nowhere...
    inverse - reverse - perverse
    (men of course would continue to carry their brains in a tiny sac between their legs - the classic, aforementioned APB - business as usual, there...)

    Come on, folks; who will bell the cat?

    Pavlov's over, Schrödinger's clangour averse,
    of course there is a bell at the end of a trumpet
    and a belle at the end of the ball...
    so cat-campanologists aside
    it's clarion regardless...
    [An aside on string theory:
    You can strum a beat pet
    when you use catgut!]

    You can't beat a strumpet.

    In Chch we do things differently - ask the Listener... must be all the coneheads who live here...
    (where's my coat gone?)

    You can't beat a strumpet.

    I like these inverted multichoice questions, are there other options?
    You
    C: ant
    B: eat
    A: strumpet

    Christchurch • Since Dec 2006 • 7953 posts Report

  • Up Front: Boobs!,

    Earth Science is not without its knockers...
    the Large Hardon Collider
    will be feeling inadequate
    if there is a causal link between
    casual boobs and crustal bust...

    Christchurch • Since Dec 2006 • 7953 posts Report

  • Southerly: The Problem With Religion,

    the further adventures of Cardinal Number...

    And try doing science without basic concepts like zero.

    I believe the Mayan culture had Zero,
    before the Conquistadors/church arrived
    and tried to reduce them to that...
    torching all their books for good measure

    Christchurch • Since Dec 2006 • 7953 posts Report

  • Bookmarks: One-shot websites,

    make up yer own funny face

    Christchurch • Since Dec 2006 • 7953 posts Report

  • Busytown: All in the game,

    Because authors don't just conjure characters out of thin air, do they? Or order them from catalogues of clichés?

    well now, there's a gap in the market...
    perhaps my oft touted Idea Orphanage
    could solve this problem, or a dedicated
    bespokesperson people4parts service ...

    Strangers in a Drain
    "Le's swap characters"
    "Criss, cross""

    Christchurch • Since Dec 2006 • 7953 posts Report

  • Hard News: We invented everything,

    ... Put. A. Buck. Et. On. Your. Head.
    Put a bucket on your head!"
    I'm not kidding.

    Beyond the pail then...?
    Luckily canned,
    er, scuttled...

    ...as ewer...

    Christchurch • Since Dec 2006 • 7953 posts Report

  • Field Theory: The Old Marquee Scam,

    The Imperfect Storm...
    all those league star-sized hailstones
    will wreak havoc on the glasshouses

    the League of Extra-rort Gentlemen
    scratch a wintergreened underbelly

    Christchurch • Since Dec 2006 • 7953 posts Report

  • Bookmarks: One-shot websites,

    ...write like Yoda, you can.

    Christchurch • Since Dec 2006 • 7953 posts Report

  • Hard News: RT: Eyjafjallajokull,

    Jökull and Hide...

    Now, if only that Icelandic poet above could rap. That would be something...

    ...why, that would be
    HipHöpöhöpö!

    I'm digging the scene:
    North Pole-Dancing
    HoHoHoHoHoes n hotties
    in lavalavas everwhere
    itsa disco inferno
    ptui classic lycra elastic
    I like my ash pyroclastic!

    Christchurch • Since Dec 2006 • 7953 posts Report

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