"Hoorah", they all cried.

"Cor you don't look half bad in those tightey whiteys Captain Underpants." Tatiana exclaimed. (Or am I getting confused with breaking bad...)

It's this bleedin 'otel Stud. I told you when we checked in, make sure its bleedin star – stop being so tight. That black ooze that you two probably think is some other-wordly evil spirit is over-run from the loos across the hallway.

When you called me out of the blue I thought it would be a lark - I’ve seen the Bond movies – I could be Russian. But this? I’m off back to Manchester - you two can shoot it up, drink martinis or talk manscaping.