Tom and Emma, certainly. I fear the hat made my head look even more freakishly large than usual

This all plays into rape culture – because our bodies aren’t our own. They are, on some level, public. Last night, I talked to a friend, who I hope will come on to expand on what I am going to say next. Talking about some of the comments upthread, and over at The Lady Garden, he was saying that by minimising the impact of rape other than male on female, you actually make rape on women lesser too.

Late again, and it has all been said, but Megan did ask very nicely.

The problem with minimising female on male rape, which was the kind we were talking about, is really the same problem with minimising any kind of rape. I think Joanna said it best - everyone knows rape is wrong, that's not the issue, you know, rape, women being attacked in dark alleys by people they don't know.

If you say that female on male is less serious, or can't happen, that has to be based on that inadequate definition of rape. That is, rape is about penetration, about a woman's sacred vessel being violated. And we're back into old horrible ideas about a woman's 'commodity' and rape being a property crime, and if you silly ladies were just more *careful*. Which makes even what you actually deign to call rape less serious, because it becomes all about a womans's precious flower being taken, and it's a short step from there to why didn't you take better care of it and then to you must have been asking for it.

I can't speak for anyone else, but from my own experience, which I still find quite hard to articulate, it's about not having a choice, and that's all. I have of my own free will done things and had things done to me that I shall not specify at this time, but were certainly far more physically intense than any non-consensual experience. None of that gives me nightmares.

Rape is about lack of consent, about being treated as lacking humanity. Nothing in there is a gender-linked characteristic. And you do women, and trans folk and everybody else, as well as men, a massive, and potentially quite upsetting disservice to say that anyone of any gender, persuasion, or configuration can't rape or be raped.

Oooh, please! I promise to wear a top hat. Or perhaps a boater, if you're going to flagrantly wear beach apparel

I love the idea of 'Demure Lady Stroll'. Though I am terribly fond of sarcasm.

Well said. Especially the second to last paragraph. I am on the side that doesn't think protests do much good to change anyone's mind, although that's coloured by my experience of student fee protests, which were essentially demanding money with menaces. But making each other feel supported and understood is an excellent use of time, and the public streets.

And I shall be there. Dressed demurely. I'll even have a sign, as I just thought of what to put on it.