Well said Bart

As someone who was in an abusive relationship for more than 10 years and am also a well-educated professional, I am so grateful to Kristen Dunne-Powell for speaking up. This kind of violence really is going on in all kinds of houses and all kinds of families. I knew the situation I was in but I always felt that talking about it, let alone going to the police would only make things worse. She is right that no-one who hasn't experience it really understands. I never felt that his behaviour was ok and neither did he really but still it continued. I stayed because I cared about him, despite the violence and I believed he wouldn't cope if I left - in the end he couldn't cope anyway and took his own life. And for me, life is so much better.

Like RaggedJoe I have heard lots of women and men feel sorry for Tony Veitch and express quite viscious criticism of his victim. I say nothing back, still don't admit it happened to me because I don't want to be exposed to that kind of judgement myself - and, strangely perhaps, now he's gone I want him to be remembered for his good qualities. It feels, though that I can only ever reveal half my experience of life to the world - I can only comment, like here, anonymously.