Cracker by Damian Christie

43

Bloggers: Pr*cks, Ars*holes, B*st*rds and C*nts

I’d like to pitch in a few thoughts about the John Armstrong vs the Two Bloggers column.  I don’t generally read much of what Armstrong writes; Gordon Campbell’s response to Armstrong’s column would be the first time I’ve read Campbell’s blog; although I do often use Bryce Edwards' work to catch up with the day’s politics on those occasions when I’ve been head down in an edit or some such. I find it, as Russell is fond of saying, “useful”.

Which is to say this is not about that, at least not the specifics. I don’t know or care if Campbell has been regularly making snide asides about Armstrong, whether one of them schtupped (I’ve never written that before, and not sure how to spell it) someone important to the other, or whether Armstrong was just tired and grumpy and/or needed something to write about. But I’d like to say a few things about the more generalised “bloggers vs the establishment” meme.

When Public Address began back in 2002, there weren’t many blogs in NZ. Not ones you’d want to read anyway, not ones about politics and stuff. I didn’t know about blogs when Russell asked me to start one.  And for at least five or six years after that, much of my time was spent explaining to people what one was.

I remember a newspaper column I had in the Herald on Sunday when it started in 2004 – “Blogger” was my description. It wasn’t my idea, and always seemed a bit odd, like I was being defined by one medium I worked in, at the expense of all the others. Surely it would’ve been just as apt, albeit redundant, to call me “Columnist”. And despite Public Address having won at least one or two Netguide Internet Awards by the stage, and me proudly telling Mum all about it, the day that first paper came out she called to ask, “what’s a Blogger”?

When I started working for Sunday at TVNZ in 2005, people there would ask the same question – reporters, sensing it was something mysterious, new and hip, would suggest doing a story about blogs. I was the subject of a number of articles around that time, talking about the medium. No-one seemed that interested in what the bloggers were saying, just where and how we were saying it. The idea one might actually use blogs as part of one's research was unthinkable. These people weren’t even professionals.

I don’t think a huge amount has changed in 2012. There are more blogs, yes. I don’t generally have to explain to any media what they are. But the idea that blogs are at best, an annoyance, and at worst a mess of half-arsed angry ill-thought-out feral opinion, still holds with many of the media establishment. Using a blog as a source, even just an idea for a story (and admitting it), would be like quoting Wikipedia in an essay or taking medical advice from sue6918 on Answers.Com.

The blogs don’t help of course. There are the rabid ones, the ones who will repeat a story even after it’s been pointed out to them that it’s not actually accurate, simply because it does their cause some good. There are the ones that sneer and dismiss the entire media establishment as either a vast left/right wing conspiracy, or totally and utterly in the pocket of our Government owners (that one’s for TVNZ)… it’s hard to even see the term “MSM” these days as being anything but pejorative, in the same way as a former political editor at TVNZ was unable to say the word “blogger” without his contempt being obvious.

And yes, despite being unresourced, unfunded, and often lacking in any journalism training, the bloggers have one thing many paid journalists lack – time. They have time to pick through your articles line by line and look for errors, or areas where you’d been a bit casual with the facts. Bastards. They have time to go back through the political past and dig up references you didn’t have the time to find while sweating on that bus in Russia. Pricks. They can quote extensively, write prolifically, update constantly and adjust accordingly, while your article in the paper of record sits there mocking you with the glaring omission you now realise it contains. Arseholes. They can just sit back and say “you coulda done better” or “I would have done it like this”. C**ts.

Yeah, life was a lot easier when the only way a person could criticise your work was to take pen to paper and write a letter to the editor, hope it got past the gatekeepers without being subbed beyond recognition. You even got a right of reply then if you wanted it – the Last Word. It’s fucking tough being John Armstrong in the 21st Century, let me tell you. I’m surprised it took you this long to snap. I know those work trips are more work than trips, I’ve been there. I still don’t know any journalist on the way up who wouldn’t give their right arm to jump on that plane to Vladivostok, even knowing exactly how difficult it was. You’ve got the access, the bloggers don’t. Having a bitch about bloggers criticising your work is like a dinosaur sitting in a swamp whinging about the oncoming meteorite. Much as you might want to, you can’t stop it. It ain’t going away. Time to adapt.

22

Audience wanted for lively TV discussion

Hey.

Lifting my head above the parapet briefly to let you know about something I think a number of you might be interested in.  My recent absence here is for no other reason is that I've been in maximum hay-making mode while the public service broadcasting sun that is TVNZ 7 is shining. As observant viewers will realise, that's about another three weeks, and there's still hay what needs harvesting, both for me, in a taking care of my little nuclear family over the winter months sense, and for you, in that there's some great TV in the next few weeks.  Bang rather than a whimper, as it should be.

I finished shooting the last pieces for Hindsight today - 39 episodes in 18 months, and I think we've pretty much rinsed that idea, so while it's always sad to end a great project, I don't feel it's gone before its time. 

Back Benches has another 3 shows left, and in a somewhat odd twist, as many of you will know, the Backbencher Tavern suffered a substantial fire on Thursday morning. It'll recover, but not in time for those last three shows, which to be honest, feels f***ing weird. We were looking forward to farewelling the show in its original setting, now we're at the Speights Alehouse up the road.  Which will be great, but it's weird nonetheless.

ANYWAY.  The thing I really wanted to tell you about is part of TVNZ 7's last hurrah, a series of five shows around the concept "The Big Idea". Ideas that have the potential to transform New Zealand as we know it.  I'm producing it, former US correspondent Tim Wilson is fronting it, and we've got five shows brimming with great talent, all filmed in front of a studio audience at the upstairs schmancy bit of the Cloud at Queens Wharf in Auckland City. And we'd love you to be there.

The shows, in order of filming, are:

Sunday 17 June:  
6:15pm: 
100% Solar by 2020: As the pressure on existing energy sources grows, should we look to an abundant resource virtually untapped, right on our rooftops?

Monday 18 June:  
6:00pm: 
Predator-Free New Zealand: An idea proposed by Sir Paul Callaghan. What if we made a concerted effort to eliminate every opossum, rat and mustelid not just from outlying islands, but from the entire country?

Monday 18 June:  
7:15pm: 
Teach the World to Farm: With looming world food shortages, do New Zealand's technologies and expertise put it in a unique position to teach the world to feed itself?

Tuesday 19 June: 
6:00pm 
Population 15 Million: Should New Zealand stop being a 'town in a country' and increase the population - i.e. 15 million people in the next 50 years?

Tuesday 19 June: 
7:15pm 
Selling New Zealand: Do we want to sell ourselves as more than a pretty place where Lord Of The Rings was filmed? What should our unique selling proposition be to take us into the future? And what does 'brand New Zealand' really mean?

We've got some heavyweight panellists, some of the best and brightest, and each show should be interesting, informative and entertaining. Just what we aim for on TVNZ 7.   

If you'd like to come to any of the filmings - they're done "as live", so will only take half an hour, and naturally there's a few drinks before or afterwards, depending on the session, so you can chat about the ideas further.

You're welcome to come to one, two, or the whole shebang, whatever takes your fancy. First in, best dressed.

Just register via this page here (not to me via publicaddress please):

http://tvnz.co.nz/the-big-idea/needs-you-4917204

And if you can't make it, the shows will be broadcast on TVNZ 7 starting the following Monday.  But do come.

After all the dust settles from TVNZ 7, I'll be back more regularly. I've got stories to tell.  A trip to China and Singapore (you can see a bit of the former in my final Hindsight episode on June 26th), tales from the suburbs, and musings on life in general.  I'm looking forward to having a bit more time to do this sort of thing, even if the reason why I'll have more time aint great.  Silver linings etc.  

9

Are you Ready to Laugh?

The end of the golden weather this morning seems timely. It’s been great, day after day basking in the warmth under blue skies, like the Summer we never got. But it had to end sometime, and what better way to deal with the rain than by gathering with friends for the NZ International Comedy Festival.

I love May. Every year my Beloved and I gorge ourselves on the best of international and local comedic talent – and anyone who still thinks it’s clever to question whether the latter exists can get their coat now – often four or more shows a week, back to back shows on some nights. I have friends who go ga-ga for the Film Festival, taking days off work to catch the matinee screenings of the latest independent Belgian doco; others stuff themselves with culture at the Arts Festival; and while I’ll happily pick at both, it’s the chance of laughs that get me out the door.

The best place to start each year is the Five Star Comedy Preview. It’s the day before the Gala (which is today), and features a hand-picked selection of the best international talent. Each performs for about 10 minutes, which as the name suggests, is a great preview. Some acts you can’t wait to see their solo show, others you think 10 minutes was great but enough, and then there’s the odd one you’re happy it was short, although they’re pretty rare.

So I was excited to head along to last night’s preview at Sky City Theatre (yes, I felt dirty sitting in the belly of the beast). Enough preamble, here’s my thoughts on the 8 artists.

Must See: Milton Jones. English. Classic droll delivery of one liners, perfectly timed, no hurry to get through a sentence. Hilarious. Best joke of the night was an off-the-cuff jibe (at/with, I’m not sure) a couple of the previous acts who had both told the same story.

Definitely worth a look: Chris Martin (UK), Brendon Burns (Australia). Both top-class comedians with great, original, observational and not-so-observational humour.

Would like to see more: Craig Campbell (Canada). I generally love Canadian comedians and their often bogan humour – Glenn Wool, who has come the last couple of years, is a great example of that  and Craig Campbell, with his bushy beard, long hair and crazy eyes looks like he could be too. And while there were plenty of hints that he is hilarious, last night he took the unusual step of using his entire 10 minutes to re-tell a story that the night’s host, Dan Willis (UK), had just told us. It involved the two of them being mugged overseas, it was a good anecdote, and Campbell certainly added and enriched its telling, but with so little time from each comic, I personally didn’t need two different journeys towards the same punchline – although I dare say any comedians in the audience would’ve loved it (cf the film The Aristrocrats).

Undecided: Bill Dawes (USA). I’m happy to hear offensive humour on any topic. Any topic. There are pretty much no ‘no-go zones’ for me, as long as it's funny and/or clever. Brendon Burns’ Michael Barrymore material is a good example of this. But Bill Dawes’ off-hand remark about not seeing the black folk in the audience until they smiled… let’s just say that delivered by a white guy with an American accent, it definitely challenged. And followed up with lots of jokes about exactly how gay Les Mills gym was, I’m not sure if he’s on the right side of ironic for me, even if I still laughed in places that weren't overtly racist or homophobic.

Not my thing: Stuart Taylor (South Africa), Dead Cat Bounce (Ireland). Stuart Taylor, just didn’t really find him that funny, although I do have a sort of visceral reaction to the South African accent, to be fair. Dead Cat Bounce are an Irish comedy-rock trio. Very talented musicians, they could probably spend more time working on the comedy than the guitar solos. Although NZ has set the bar pretty high when it comes to musical comedy. As the final act of the night, with an audience as warmed-up as they were ever going to get, it still fell a little flat.  But judge for yourself, here’s a song they performed last night, “Kayaking”.  

A couple of flat points aside, overall it was still a fantastic preview of the weeks to come. This is the first May with a wee-one at home, so I’ll have to choose a little more carefully than in the past, but I’ll still get my fix. There are dozens of acts other than these eight of course (Jason Byrne also comes highly recommended) and a swathe of local talent (The Boy with Tape on his Face, if you haven’t seen him before, is a must-see). Do it.

[EDIT: I just remembered that the first song Dead Cat Bounce performed, a macabre take on 'Old Macdonald', was actually quite funny. So that's one out of three.]

33

End of Days

Usually I would be quite excited to let you know about a new series of my looking-back-to-look-forward show Hindsight (starting tonight, 9.05pm, on TVNZ 7 with repeats Wednesday morning and a couple of times on Sunday I believe), and I am this time too, but it’s definitely tinged with sadness. As with at least two new series starting on TVNZ 7 this week (Wallace Chapman’s The New Old, and Hearts in Crafts with Tamsin Cooper and Justin Newcombe) the show has been timed so that the final episode of the series plays on the final week of the channel.  It’s an intentional strategy – to end with a bang rather than a whimper – new New Zealand content right up until the end.

For Hindsight at least, this probably would have been the last series regardless what happened to TVNZ 7.  I have now produced 39 episodes, each looking at its own aspect of New Zealand society, and while we could probably all sit here and come up with new episodes, one thing I’ve come to realise over the past couple of years is that while the TVNZ archive is a vast resource, it’s surprisingly shallow. For each topic, even a big one, such as tonight’s look at Police, there might be a pile of potential footage, but once you’ve taken out the mute items (there used to be separate reels for vision and sound, the latter often seem to have been disposed or perhaps recycled), the items that are nothing but a long boring interview with a former Minister, the items that appear to be some esoteric 70s experiment in documentary making that doesn’t stand the test of time, any given topic seems to reduce to a few good items, if you’re lucky. There are potentially many more where both reels were lost, it’s hard to say.

Which can be frustrating. Like many people I’ve spoken to, I tend to imagine old archive – if I can dream up a story that simply must have gone to air, then it must have happened. I wanted, for instance, to do an episode on ‘Boom and Bust’, but struggled to find a suitably early piece saying how well New Zealand was doing, or anything good on the hard times of the 90s and would you believe it, even a decent item on the Yuppie Years was tough. It turns out we don’t often know what’s happening to us until after it’s happened – it’s easy enough to find other shows looking back at a trend, but doing a retrospective show using equally retrospective items doesn’t work – I need source.

Anyway, I won’t bore you with what wasn’t. What I’ve got over the next 13 weeks I’m really happy with. Great archive on gangs, housing, protest, overseas conflict, sex education, fashion, homosexuality, farming, jumping the ditch, railways, buy NZ made and children. We’ve called in some heavyweights for the interviews – tonight’s Police episode starts as we mean to carry on, with Chester Borrows MP (a former policeman with great stories) and Police Commissioner Peter Marshall. But the best thing as always is the archive, and in tonight’s episode the Traffic Cops sitting around the control room in 1977 bragging about how fast they’ve gone in a chase situation, and what a turn on it is. I love it, and I hope you do too. The launch party for Hindsight series one was the night it was announced TVNZ 7 was closing down, so I’ve always known this was a for-a-limited-time kinda deal, but it’s been a pleasure and a privilege.

On a positive note, I’ve got a new archive-based project starting next month on TVNZ Heartland (Sky Channel 17), This Week in TV History.  A 2 ½ minute package each week, containing short snippets of, well the name says it all.  But there’s always a viewer request element – think ‘I Like That One 2’ – and I’d love to get the ball rolling with some requests via this blog for old footage you’d love to see again. Just don’t be surprised if the film has gone missing, or if it never existed.

TWITVH (I’m trying that out, hoping it will catch on) premieres on Saturday May 5th, and is repeated frequently throughout the week on TVNZ Heartland.

Winners of the Grimes CDs – George Darroch because he apparently loves Grimes and for the great Bobby Womack track I hadn’t heard; Richard Stewart for recommending we Buy Kiwi Made; and Jos just for posting twice. Get in touch with your postal addresses, if you don’t need the CD let me know. Jackson P you were close with the Best Coast – they’re great – they have a brand new single off a forthcoming album:

Just after I wrote that last post about new music, the new album from The Shins turned up in my mailbox. I’d heard the single and was excited to hear the album. I’m glad I left it in my car stereo for a couple of weeks before writing about it, because quite honestly, on first listen I was a little unsure about the full album – it had an almost brittle clarity to it, in the sense of it being quite pop-ish, quite white… I could make out the lyrics, like I don’t know, somewhere between Lloyd Cole and Cold War Kids, maybe later Manic Street Preachers?

Whatever. I left it in the stereo, and now it’s not coming out. In a good way.

Also in my in tray, the new Black Seeds album, Dust and Dirt. I’ve never been a huge Black Seeds fan, but this I like. It seems to be in a more minor key than earlier offerings, which is good for me at least, although the single, Pippy Pip, is probably the most traditional 'Black Seeds' offering on the album, and therefore not especially representative:

 

More CDs to give away soon – go set your PVRs for Hindsight tonight.

19

Monday Lovin' (includes FREE CD!)

I know it’s more traditional to have time-wasting linky love here-are-my-favourite-youtube-clips posts on a Friday, but personally I think some of us are in far more need of that kind of distraction and gentle cerebral massage on a rainy old wintry Monday, when the previous weekend is laughing at you, rather than the new one beckoning.

 So I thought I’d share some new and/or newish music with you, and hopefully you can share some new and/or old music back.  In a non-copyright violating YouTube kinda way.  And in celebration of doing things the right way, I have some CDs to give away. Real CDs, with covers and credits and that sort of thing, not just a selection of 3M disks scrawled illegibly in permanent marker.  And not just any old CDs, but the impressive and brand new Grimes album, on which more soon (o.w.m.s).

 Back story:  I’m a bit crap at keeping up with things.  Regardless of how many I nick from the Koru lounge each week on my way to Back Benches, I find it difficult to get through a magazine each week.  I barely read any blogs regularly, (other than those of my colleagues here at Public Address, of course), and no matter how many people have recommended This American Life to me, I find it almost impossible to maintain a steady relationship with podcasts.  What do I do? Well mostly I work. At present each week I'm doing Back Benches, Q+A, producing a new series of Hindsight (starting April 3) and another project (o.w.m.s.) starting on the first week of April.  I'm not complaining - I love what I do - but she's a busy wee spell from now until the time TVNZ 7 gets kicked to the curb at the end of June. I'm attempting to make hay.

One of the things I do regret though, is the lack of time I have to find new music. So when a friend of mine recommended a podcast called All Songs Considered, I had a listen. And nearly wept.

It's a 30 min+ weekly podcast where host Bob Boilen and friends consider a huge range of new songs and play you their favourites. Some weeks they do different stuff - in the last week they've been doing regular updates from South by Southwest, occasionally they will have themed shows, genre specials and the like. 

What makes All Songs Considered so different - and whether you feel the same is going to come down to how similar our tastes in music are - is that in almost every podcast there are two or three songs by artists I've never heard of, that I instantly fall in love with. It's often skewed towards the alt-country/bluesy/folky sort of stuff, but there's enough variation that you'll find hip-hop, electronica and most other contemporary forms thrown in there. As well as some downright weird shit. 

Unlike the only other podcast I've listened to regularly, Mark Kermode and Simon Mayo's BBC 5 film review, I'm not especially enamoured of the hosts. Mark and Simon are hilarious, their in-jokes make you feel part of the family very quickly. On All Songs Considered, Bob and co-host/producer Robin Hilton - particularly Hilton - come across at times a bit cringy, geeky and earnest. You may disgaree of course. But really, it's earnest cringy geeky types that I want choosing my music for me. They put the effort in. 

One artist I discovered via ASC and more recently on bFM is Grimes. Despite the name, she has nothing to do with the Grime genre; if she did I mostly likely wouldn't be recommending it here. Grimes is Canadian, Visions is her third album, but don't be surprised if like me you've come late - the debut came out only on cassette, and this is her first release since signing to 4AD. 

My favourite track on the album is this one, 'Genesis', which they appear to be giving away as a free download on the site.  I think it's what it would sound like if Clannad and Kraftwerk got together for an orgy. Erm, in a good way. It's lovely, girly, electronica. That's what I'm trying to say.

Download and listen to the album version, then watch this more deconstructed version here if you like. And if you really like, then keep reading cos I've got a few copies of the full CD to give away, like I said.

 

Another artist I'd heard of, but hadn't really listened to at all until ASC came along was Lambchop.  I don't know if this is standard for them, but the vocalist reminds me of The National, my favourite 'new' band of the past ten years.

Then there's Alabama Shakes. Excuse me if I'm not saying anything entirely new right here because they've kinda blown up and received rave reviews and celebrity endorsements - as well as being signed to Rough Trade Records in the UK and a recording session by one Mr J. White, but their EP is well worth a download - and it looks like they've got a couple of tunes for free on their website too, ahead of an early April album launch.  Most seem to agree it's never going to be the most original stuff you've ever heard, but they do what they do incredibly well.

Right. Your turn. Post away, my pretties. Or email me if you're shy, but that's not really sharing now, is it. My three favourite brand new/brand old tune (i.e. new to me) will get a Grimes CD, and you too can be bouncing to the mutant love chil' of Enya and Ralf.

(thanks to Lisa @ The Label for the freebees!)