Club Politique by Che Tibby

Bye Bye Birdie

So there I am all settled in for a news marathon. SBS world-news from 6.30 to 7 (the 6-6.30 news here, like New Zealand, is basically infotainment, I watch re-runs of Dr. Who on ABC instead). Then the ABC news from 7-7.30, then the 7.30 report. The drama I'm trying to get all angles on? Bye bye Mr. Mark Latham it seems.

Unfortunately, half-way through the SBS news I get the call to help out by doing an emergency shift in the sink. It seems the dishy 'cracked it' to use the local vernacular, and stormed out in a haze of those wavy anger lines you see in comics. And flies. You can never forget the flies.

Anyhow, so this means that with Fro-Man beating a hasty retreat from being 'paid out' (vernacular) by one of the chefs I was unable to watch the good insider interviews that would have aired on these channels. Goddamnit. You get the vibe of the thing though (vernacular). Mr Latham, after two bouts of something called 'pancreatitis', the loss of an election, and something else I'll mention later, has formally resigned from both the Leadership of the Parliamentary Labor Party and his seat of Werriwa.

We all should have seen this one coming. Latham's been under siege since November, and the likelihood of him surviving another putsch in the party were looking slimmer and slimmer by the day. Although much of the media speculation was of the usual 'internal party ructions' reporting that seems to always occur after yet another loss to an incumbent Government, there was always this undertone of something brewing.

And there it is, the thing brewing was Marks' pancreas. And probably from too many brews (and stress). Shortly before the last Federal election this one brought Mark down, and his strange absence during the obligatory Tsunami disaster shock-horror public statement rounds was obviously not because of callous disregard for the suffering of hundreds of thousands, but conveniently, because he was at deaths door.

Or at a resort getting some R&R just like his doctors told him too. But hey, I'm suspicious that he'd already decided to quit politics on advice, and thought, 'Bugger it, me saying "omagod!" and waving cheques I don't actually sign isn't going to do anyone any good when I'm bailing first chance I get anyhow. So there.'

Strangely though, editors such as the guys at The Australian are using it as an excuse to put the boot in. Maybe I've a soft spot for Latham, as I've said before, anyone who calls the Liberals' foreign policy 'a conga-line of suck-holes, leading all the way to Washington' gets my vote, but I think people may be over-playing this Tsunami thing and his lack of comment. In fact, both his lack of comment and the lack of consideration for the fact of his illness, screams petty politics.

The guys over at Troppo Armadillo think that Michael Gordon's article in The Age is probably the best comment so far, and I tend to agree, although the number of people referring to Kim Beazley, the former leader, as a 'safe pair of hands' is probably the kiss of death for the big fulla. Although you might also want to read Tim Dunlop over at the road to surfdom, who makes some good points about keeping the next campaign economics-focussed.

Thing is, Beazley has the distinct taint of being a loser to Howard, although he was of course ripped off in 2001 in regard to the Tampa. Much like the last election, Howard stepped in a used a last-minute issue to really hammer home the message that Federal Labor didn't really have what it takes to 'look after' the Australian public. This time it was the forestry issue, where he appeared in front of a crowd of cheering timber workers, and last time it was the famous 'we decide who comes to this country' speech, while 438 refugees floundered in the open seas.

So while Beazley may be a great conciliator, and provide a bit of stability to Federal Labor after the humiliating loss in 2004, I'm suspicious of his lack of ability to produce the needed kind of visionary policy to capture the Australian imagination. Safe pair of hands, sure, but we already have one safe pair of hands on the national tiller. Little, grabby, midget hands, sure, but safe and predicable nonetheless.

You can say whatever you like about Latham. He was a bruiser who broke a cabbies arm when he thought the guy was trying to steal he wallet, he made up some great phrases that were borderline obscenities when describing the Liberals, he called a prominent female journalist a 'skanky ho', Dubya ‘the most dangerous President in living memory’, and he basically burnt his bridges in the way he resigned.

But, for a while there he really did invigorate the Federal Labor Party. His 'ladder of opportunity' speech and ideas were really good, and I’m of the opinion it actually reached a lot of people. Also, during the election campaign Labor did actually look like an alternative government, they had numbers, Latham was high in the preferred PM stakes, and the Liberals weren't actually producing any new policy, but were simply throwing money at everything. It was a long-shot, but compared to Labor under Crean they were far and away better off.

I think I know what really scuttled Latham though, and it's a three-second video grab of Latham exiting a radio interview and coming face to face with Howard, maybe two days before the election. Now, Latham was doing great up to this point, and seemed to be convincing people that he wasn't the bovver-boy he seemed to be depicted as all too often. But, in what would doubtless have been played time, and time, and time again during the next election, is footage of him 'stepping up' to Howard and basically going eyeball to eyeball with him, big firm handshake and all.

Anyone saw that footage and didn't think 'thug' is fooling themselves. Howard just kind of patted Latham on the arm and asked if he was 'alright?' (leading me to think he's been bullied before). The contrast? Exuberant, aggressive youngster, and that mature, steady hand thingie again.

So will Beazley make it? I can't say just yet. We'll have to see how Labor falls into line, or if Beazley even gets picked to lead. There's still a chance Kevin Rudd could get lucky. But, someone wants to tell Julia Gillard that Aussies aren't ready for a female leader just yet, any more than Americans want Hillary to get to the White House.