Public Address - Club Politique (Home)

People Too | May 09, 2005 13:43

I was busy unpacking my gear over the weekend, and discovered an interesting photocopy I made when sifting through files at the State Library of Victoria a few years ago. In the 1960s, in a fit of liberal fervour following the 1967 referendum, Aboriginal Affairs throughout Australia were given a shake-up. As part of this watershed in Australian approaches to their minorities, including migrants, old bastions of colonialism like 'Protection Boards', 'Welfare Boards' and Church Missions were phased out and replaced with modern bureaucracies.

Anyhow, in Victoria, this took the form of the 'Ministry of Aboriginal Affairs', which was charged with getting Aboriginal people into housing and generally taking care of their welfare. In 1971 this Ministry produced an annual report, the cover of which I was forced to photocopy for a permanent poster. It hung there in my office in Melbourne for the entire time I lived in Carlton, but it was only yesterday that I remembered why it did so.

The picture is of two boys (and no, that's not the reason...), one white and one black, both sitting on some steps. The white kid is maybe 10, very clean-cut, and wears nifty little socks and sandals. His hair is blonde, and he rests his chin on his hand while talking to the other boy. The Aboriginal boy is the same age, but kinda scruffy. He has bare feet and a woolly jumper, he's scratching his head and has this look on his face like 'what you talking about Willis?'

The caption attached to the picture said:

This non-Aboriginal boy in deep discussion with his Aboriginal friend at Lake Tyers, Victoria, has accepted naturally the concept so many adults find so hard: Aborigines are, first of all, people.

That is essentially the message of this Ministry.

Now, I'd always kept the picture because I thought it summed up the mainstream perception of 'intercultural dialogue', so the note was a bit of a surprise.

I mean, 'first of all, people'??

In combination with an blog-comment-exchange I'd been having over at Troppo Armadillo last week the quote really jumped out at me.

I know that you're all probably bored with hearing me rant about the way things are over in Australia, but believe me, the anger faded a long time ago, only to be replaced with a kind of mystification at the way minorities are perceived. 'People'?? Of course Aboriginals are people, but there was a conventional wisdom floating round in the 1800s that they were little more than 'naked savages', and not the noble kind. And being naked does wonders to contribute to anyone's reputation for being a 'savage', or uncivilised.

After all, it was when they woke up to their nudity that Adam and Eve were kicked out of the Garden, right?

Personally? On a good warm day I like nothing better than letting my flab hang out to tan. Yup, there's that pasty white manflesh again 'ladies'. Grrr, tiger.

Anyhow, the comment exchange centred on the way in which current Australian law prevents some groups from being able to claim native title over land if they haven't had a ongoing relationship to it. That is, a relationship prior to and since colonisation.

The main problem with this is that if an Aboriginal group was removed from their traditional area for any reason, for instance in order for them to be incarcerated, the traditional link was broken. The obvious problem then is that most all of NSW, Queensland and Victoria forcibly removed their Aboriginal people. So, no ability to claim back Crown lands under the Native Title Act 1993.

But, in the case of Victoria, after an unsuccessful claim by the Yorta Yorta people for Crown lands (in the form of the Barmah State Park), a compromise joint-custodial arrangement was negotiated with the State Government. A good outcome for all. The Crown in the form of the Bracks Government gets to save face, and Yorta Yorta get an interest in the lands.

A comment that popped up on Troppo Armadillo was that this type of thing should happen more often to solve the native title impasse, and that the money spent on the Court cases would have been better spent to simply buy land for Aboriginal claimants.

Well, the response to this was muted, but only by the 'academic' nature of the website. In a nutshell, opposition ranged from statements of the undesirability of granting 'productive land' to Aboriginal people, who obviously can't farm, to statements about the need to forget all that and just assimilate a 'stone-age culture'. Again, not shocked, just mystified. I should also mention that the pro-comments were also a little disturbing, with some readers still maintaining outright weird ideas about the perfection and nobility of the pre-colonial Aboriginal lifestyles.

What amazes me is the level of stereotyping, negative and positive that is carried about Aboriginal people. It goes back to that picture, with the reasonable and tidy white boy talking to an 'obviously stupid' black kid who just doesn't get it. Besides the natural parallels with the way some see Maori, it's amazing that in the Twenty-First Century people can still think that just because Aboriginals used to live with stone age technology that they are still stone age.

Naturally this story is larger than just the comment exchange, I walked away when the level of bigotry both left and right got too much for me, but it once again reinforces the problem of intercultural dialogue and how important it is to ensure that minorities have a voice. Without it, you end up with well-meaning and/or ill-meaning majority people coming up with the most bizarre information about minorities and their place in the world. A good situation for no-one.

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Meals to Impress (Women) | May 05, 2005 11:26

The title to this series was originally going to be either of two alternatives, Cooking Made Easy for Munters, or Food to Pull Chicks, but I thought that isolating half your potential audience was a little foolhardy. But, I have noticed that food is something sadly neglected by the average Kiwi male. So in the interests of public safety and the general reputation of other Kiwi blokes, over the next few weeks or months I'll be putting up a few recipes stolen from the various restaurants I've dishpigged in over the years.

Mind you, not all these recipes are stolen. Some are ones I've read in various cookbooks and dumbed down to my level of skill, which means if you're the kind of bloke (or sheila) who can't find their arse or elbow in the kitchen, you should be right to whip these beauties up.

But again, if you can't even cook toast without burning it, then you might even be too hopeless to do any of this stuff. However, if you're feeling adventurous, and want to foray into the wild world of good food and a big wicked smile on the (potential) missus' face, then read on.

Now, I'm not a chef. I never had pretensions of being a chef, and I don't particularly like the buggers. I did however pay attention when they were busy and I wasn't, like all good employees should. As a consequence, I've learn a few tricks that simplify the stuff you read in the cookbooks produced by choir boys like Jamie Oliver, and I'm willing to share this all with you.

Aren't I a nice bloke?

Thing is, awhile back I realised that if I ever wanted to eat decent food again I had to either move back in with Mum, or get hitched asap. As neither was an immediate option, I started making all kinds of crap food to see if I could do it. Fifteen years later, I have a few ideas and a few gems I use when cooking for other people. Also, having had to cook for myself for the past eight years or so (flats in Aussie typically do 'own food'), I have the proportions right for cooking for one or two. Convenient ay?

Mostly this is a public service, like I say. Bad food is a blot on the nation. If you're the sort of bastard who goes to a fancy restaurant and orders a steak of Black Angus, Well Done, you deserve a bullet. Maybe you can get away with that in a dodgy place, sometimes you need that steak to be well-done to avoid food poisoning. But man, a big hairy animal DIED so you can have that steak. It was never a bit of 'red stuff' in a cryo-vac (hopefully). At some stage someone has EXECUTED one of the worlds creatures, and you go and have the bejesus cooked out of it because you can't stand the sight of blood. I'm sure the cattlebeast didn't like the sight of blood either...

Anyhow, most of these recipes are simple fare, or one-pot boilers that emphasise good eating. If your only intention is to provide an entree before you get her kit off, then piss off. Seriously. Piss off right now and don't come back. Ever. Order a pizza for Christ's sake and buy a box of red goon.

Food is about people and their company, so if you just want to put on a good feed, one those one's that make you fart unexpectedly, or if you're doing it to provide that elusive 'dinner conversation', then bloody good on ya boy, I'll put up a few meals that can help you out, should you need it.

Oh, and read the recipe BEFORE you start to cook. Saves on the dramas.

Big Creamy Pasta or Cabonara

For this recipe you'll need a few things. If you don't have these or can't identify them, ring up your Mum to explain what they are. And all of the ingredients should be available at the supermarket. I know some of you worry that cooking will make you a 'homo', so I'll try to never send you to the deli if I can help it. These things are:

A frying pan.
A biggish pot, two thirds filled with water, and a lid on it.
A sharp knife (blunt knives are more dangerous that sharp ones).
A wooden spoon to stir the pasta and sauce.
A dessert spoon to measure things.

OK, for ingredients you need (this recipe is for two).
300ml of full cream.
150g of Tomato paste.
One onion.
Two teaspoons of crushed garlic.
A bunch of raw bacon, however much you like. Usually one 200g pack sliced into 1cm squares (cut off the chewy rind and chuck it away, but leave the fat on there).
A chunk of smoked chicken, maybe 150-200g cut into little 1cm chunks.
A packet of that fresh pasta, whatever kind you like, but I tend to use penne or farfalle (bowties), to avoid embarrassing accidents with things like spaghetti.
Salt and pepper.
A packet/tin of parmesan cheese, grated finely.
A bottle of olive oil. Don't use plain oil, canola oil, peanut oil or anything else.

The number one thing to do is to turn on the water while you're preparing the sauce. If it's boiling while you're getting ready, just turn it down a bit, and crank it up again before it's time to add the pasta.

This food is very, very easy to make. First, chop your onion as finely as you can. You don't want filthy great lumps of the stuff floating around, so put a bit of effort in. Slice it long-ways, take off the skin, then cut it all across one way, then across the other. Whack the lot in the pan, then add the crushed garlic. You can buy crushed garlic off the shelf, and save faffing about slicing it finely. Next, add about two dessert spoons of the olive oil.

Turn on your frying pan, and when it starts to sizzle, stir it all with the wooden spoon. You DON'T want the garlic or onion to turn brown or burn. Usually you just turn the temperature up to about half, and cook it gently. This isn't a barbie you're dealing with here.

When the onion starts to turn a paler colour of white, and before it burns, chuck in the bacon, stir for a couple of minutes till it looks like the colour has changed from 'red' to 'pink', then chuck in the chicken.

Meanwhile, the water is boiling and you've already put the fresh pasta in the pot. Seriously, fresh pasta. Don't be a goddamn cheapskate. Fresh pasta is easy to use and tastes great. If I thought you weren't a total nuffin I'd be telling you how to make your own. But, baby steps, baby steps.

Add a dessert spoon of olive oil to the pasta pot, along with a tiny bit of salt, and stir to make sure the pasta doesn't stick. Leave the lid off, if it stays on the water will boil over and that's a hassle.

By now the pan is ready for the cream. Tip the whole bottle in, and stir the lot. Add a little salt, put in a little pepper. Then, add about half a dessert spoon of the tomato paste. Put the rest in the fridge for next time, that's all you'll need. Then, stir maybe one or two dessert spoons of the parmesan cheese into the mix.

OK, now this is the tricky part. The idea is to reduce down the amount of liquid in the pan. At the moment there's too much water in there, and you need to simmer a little off. It's actually easy, just stir the mix till the sauce doesn't run off the wooden spoon, but kind of sticks to it in a slightly 'melted cheese' kind of way. You don't need the heat too high, just enough to keep the whole thing simmering. It should take about five minutes.

While you're doing this, you can check the pasta. It's cooked when you bite into a piece and it doesn't have an uncooked bit in the middle. DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT cook it till it's a soggy, limp piece of crap. It should be firm to the bite but not raw. Again, a little tricky, but practice makes perfect.

If your pasta is ready, but the sauce isn't thick enough yet, just turn off the heat, and tip the water out. You can either use a sieve or keep the lid on and tip water into the sink. Be careful, pasta accidentally going into a dirty sink is a 'bad thing'. To stop it all sticking to itself while the sauce thickens, put about a dessert spoon of olive oil in there and stir it through. Sweet as.

Once the sauce has thickened up, either tip the pasta into the pan if there's room, or vice versa. Stir the lot together, and serve.

Piece of piss.

If you're game, you can even add a few pitted olives to the mix when you fry the bacon, and garnish with a little fresh basil.

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The Ruffling of Feathers | May 04, 2005 10:13

On the scale of interesting Australian politics, the kerfuffle between Howard and Costello in the past few days is right up there. One of the opinions I quickly formed after arrival in Melbourne was that resident Parliamentary comedian Peter Costello simply wasn't leadership material.

Besides the inevitable need to get him coaching to prevent his tendency to smirk on TV, he just never had the spark you imagine in a potential PM. Other than that it was also apparent that Tony Abbott, the current Minister of Health, was subtly placed to be the next leader. My gut feeling was always that Costello may one day inherent the mantle, but a putsch was never going to be too far away.

The big news this week happened when Howard, in what has widely been described as a fit of 'hubris', stated that he would be happy to step up against Beazley in the next election. Of course, the next election is over two years away, and Costello would by that time have been deputy leader for a very long time. A very long time indeed.

Taking into account that the question of leadership is always the one used to needle Costello whenever a journalist wants to aggravate the man, the announcement by Howard that he's planning to stick around and fight, all a few days before the presentation of the budget is probably a colossal blunder by Howard. One of the few the wily old fox has made in the past few years.

Of course, bluster and hot air has ensued, I've never regretted not having access to Australian TV the way I have since the weekend, but the feeling of 'trouble' in the print media is palpable. Of course, there is something of a frenzy on around the issue, but objective writers like Misha Schubert are pointing pretty clearly to a major rift forming in the Coalition. Then you've also got Beazley pointing out (at the bottom of this article), that Costello and Howard really hate one another. Whether this is indeed true is beyond my access to information, but interesting all the same. Forgiveness if you need to log in to access some of these articles, but if you do, it's free (just time consuming).

There's a few factors that complicate the issue. The most important is that the budget is the time when Costello really gets to strut his stuff and demonstrate his potential. A stint as Treasurer seems to be key to a Party that sells itself on economic management, so this is his time, only to have to rug pulled out from under him by a PM who not only states publicly that he's not giving up the mantle despite Costello's many years of patience, but also that this is his 16th budget (thereby stealing the limelight from Costello once again). To return to the article in the Australian linked above, Steve Lewis states very clearly,

Don't be bluffed by shades of public mutual affection. The Howard-Costello relationship has survived for so long largely due to a mutual convenience that hides a more spiteful appraisal of each other. Sometimes the disdain is barely concealed, particularly when the wine has been flowing and the hour is late.

In all likelihood, the clincher in this situation will be Costello gathering enough numbers to challenge Howard, something that's been in the offing for years. Naturally, he's going to come up against Howard's teflon record, any other leader lying like a rug for so many years would have been put out years ago, but 'the people' seem to love the guy. He's like the Casanova of the political world, he can say and do whatever the hell he likes, and they still let him get away with it.

The next factor is the last election campaign. Labor tried pretty hard to land any kind of punch on the Coalition by pointing out that a vote for Howard is effectively a vote for a much less popular leader, Costello. No one was too worried it seems. More important is the larger number of backbenchers, and the small amounts of disaffection over things like asylum seekers and tax reform. If Costello could translate that disaffection into support, he might just have a chance, but it remains a long-shot.

Which suggests that Tony Abbott, known around Canberra as 'the mad monk' (i'll explain in future), is more likely to be Howard's successor.

PS. My first retraction!! I'm so proud. It seems that Whinny may have had a case for Labour to answer. Mind you, it would have been good to see such ardor from Opposition the face of immigration from other oppressive regimes, such as Apartheid South Africa, but hey. So, my apologies, I jumped the gun and shot the foot out of my mouth.

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