The annoying thing about being a public servant is of course the public service code of conduct. Annoying because when you find out really juicy information, or get a new perspective on something interesting you simply cannot take it to the public. It's a conflict of interest that ensures that a reasonable number of subjects are simply off limits to me.
Of course, were I to praise the Government on a subject they're bound not to notice that I'm discussing an issue. Unless of course I either cause a fuss, or am too flattering. No one likes a sycophant. But it does mean that I can't actually do the opposite and directly criticise the Government of the day in this, a public forum. If we're talking at the pub I could probably tell you what I really think about the Foreshore and Seabed Act, but this is not the time or place.
Worse still, because there is a chance that the current opposition parties could become the next Government I am also expected not to alienate them by my actions. The story is that, as a public servant, I am expected to retain the confidence of all political factions. Political neutrality is of course the best way to maintain this. I'm increasingly finding myself actually adopting political agnosticism, and if any residual partisan leanings show it's more a chance of a leopard not being able to change his spots.
The upshot is that you can't actually criticise anyone too harshly. Which is not very much fun.
What this all boils down to is the simple fact that I'm not paid to represent the opinions of either the Government or the Opposition. I am in fact paid to go to a building in the city and eat lunch. Between the to-ing and fro-ing from the place I eat lunch and the place I sleep/watch TV/shower/etc I handle a number of documents about public service stuff and try to make things easier for you, the citizen.
It is exhilarating.
I have had it explained to me a number of times that my job is supposed to be a little boring, and completely uncontroversial. If it wasn't boring a member of the public might notice me, or what I'm doing when I'm not eating lunch, and talk about it with a member of the media. And the media are evil. And over-excitable.
But sometimes it's a bit like having a bag of lollies and trying to not let a group of five year olds know about them. The minute those little fuckers find out about the lollies, no one gets any peace for many hours. And my job is therefore to keep the lollies well out of sight, and therefore out of mind.
We in the public service just keep the nation running nice and quietly, without anyone noticing or causing a fuss. None of this 'waving of the arms', or running around making too much noise, or talking to those pesky children in the press gallery.
Consequently I cannot go into depth about people that I consider a bunch of freaking whingers kicking up a fuss about nothing at all.
I can however ask, on a sociological level, what happened to the stoic farming man?
Here we are in the public service, just minding our own business, trying to efficiently manage the interests of near-four-million and one group decides that they get to be the exception to the rule and kick up a ungodly fuss. Barry Crump would shed a tear for the death of the real New Zealander. If was sober enough to figure out what in the hell was going on. Which was never a given.
My former political self would say, "Just chip the damn dogs and stop bitching will you? The 80s, when farmers ran this country, was a long, long time ago". You're not in charge any more.
I am. Me and a few thousand people paid to sit quietly, eat our sandwiches, and listen to the public piss and moan about anything and everything, while administering sage advice.
Here's another gripe. How is it that farmers will be the first to demand that we get rid of 'the PC', get 'solo mums' spayed, stop listening to 'the maoris' and put an end to hand-outs, but be the first in line for public money when a cyclone hits?
It seems they have not heard of insurance.
To try to rein in my annoyance, I will admit that turning to the gubbermint for a solution a soon as the slightest misfortune hits seems to be a natural Kiwi trait. The Crown does always seem to have this air of the potentially good big brother, the one who sorts out the bad guys.
But that said, and to be as balanced as poss I'll likely start documenting cases I notice of people looking to the government to sort shit out when they really just need to get their act together. And I probably should have done so before I drafted the blog.
Any good examples people have noticed will be greatly appreciated, in that case... Please sign in triplicate, here, here, and... oh yeah... here.