Posts by David Haywood
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I was also working on this story, but have been neatly beaten by a combination of Russell "Great Helmsman" Brown and Bob "The Very Bad Baby" Haywood.
A couple of very minor additional points:
1. An equally good title for Simon Power's press release would've been "Overall Crime Drops Under Labour Administration". This really underlines Russell's point about the laziness/incompetence of the 'proper' journalists (including, alas, those at my beloved Radio New Zealand) in that they didn't even bother to read the ICVS report's summary. To all intents and purposes the definition of news journalist has now simply become: "One whose job is to retype press releases".
2. Apparently Simon Power was away the day they taught subtraction at school. His claim that "After nine years of Labour are Kiwis any safer? These figures show we are not" is quite mysterious. The data was collected in 2004 -- how does he manage the arithmetic so that 2004 - 1999 = 9?
Maybe Public Address should be handing out a "Complete Fucking Bullshit" award to the worst case of bad journalism each week (of course, we might have to give it a more acceptable name such as the 'Deborah Coddington' award).
The only problem with this concept is that most weeks we'd just be mailing it directly to Garth George.
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Sorry, I have been away from the internets -- apologies for not replying to some of these questions earlier...
Charles Mabbett wrote:
Will you have broadband?
We have Woosh, which is like a cross between normal broadband and O'Reilly, the Irish builder from Fawlty Towers. The word 'Whoosh' conjures up images of dizzying speed; the product 'Woosh' does not.
Is the water warm enough for swimming?
It's been a *very* hot day down here (27 deg C) and I took Bob down for a paddle in the sea. He screamed with cold when his feet touched the water.
John Shears wrote:
I have a problem in getting to grips with the fact that a highly trained engineer associates Greeks and Triangles (that bit is not too bad) with Citroens which after all, are and always have been, French. To the best of my knowledge the triangles they get involved in are not geometric.
Perhaps I mean trapeziums rather than triangles. Actually, it would be hard to defend my ownership of the Citroën -- even if it were Swedish, and shaped like a dancing girl. In theory, we bought it for the excellent fuel consumption (diesel 6.5 litres/100 km). In practise, any fuel savings are instantly gobbled up by the price of new bits for the suspension. Plus it goes ludicrously fast on New Zealand roads, and corners really well, which occasionally causes me not to notice that I've exceeded the speed limit by lots. The maintenance costs have occasionally tempted me to print up a bumper sticker "Citroën: Why I Hate the French".
merc and Sofie Bribiesca wrote:
... [surfing stuff]...
I know a bit about wave mechanics -- but, alas, hardly anything about surfing. I haven't seen particularly tall waves (perhaps 2.5 metres wave height), but the surfers ride them for ridiculously long distances here. They begin to surf just down the road from our house, and end up as tiny dots in the distance. I'd estimate that they travel in the order of a kilometre. You see them paddling back for ages.
Pauline Dawson wrote:
I had a very broad Southland R which I worked VERY hard at losing when I moved north.
I'm interested to know why you felt that you had to lose it. I've always thought it was rather pleasant and charming accent, but I've known several Southlanders who've just about checked in for elocution lessons to eliminate it. Why is that, I wonder?
Sofie Bribiesca wrote:
My friend wears his 'Bob the boozer" t-shirt to our pub. Can he drink it? Yes he can. I think they make smaller ones if you're interested.
Oh, I'd be very interested...
**Below:** an amusing skit from Reeves & Mortimer about boozing babies...
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Russell Brown wrote:
You do realise I can change your password any time I like?
I'm sorry to say that this is exactly the sort of response that I've come to expect from a Timaruvian. In fact, I believe Owen McShane has even written a paper showing that Timaru could have become a world-class city -- if only they'd managed to overcome their "change his password" attitude to problem-solving.
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Jason:
Thanks for posting those figures... extremely interesting stuff! It certainly makes Transit's $30-40M look a little odd.
Stephen:
That CHCH guys obviously has the same commute as I do (or, rather, used to) -- I recognize all those spots. The whole video is just like an average morning commute as far as I'm concerned. I wouldn't even blink at any of it.
The thing that upsets me is hoons throwing bottle at you. I had a spectacular splinter of glass sticking out of my helmet as a result of a hoon's handiwork. Knew there was a reason we had to wear those helmets.
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I suspect that Bob is not as selfless as your well-trained lasses -- he likes to help himself to sips of my beer (which, now that I think of it, is probably illegal for an eight-month-old in a pub).
We are in Southland so that Jennifer can run her diabolical brain/language experiments on the hapless Southlanders. This has made her a minor celebrity in these parts -- with the Southland Times even emblazoning their front page with her photo.
Adelaide sounds a little too warm. On the other hand, I have the heaters going full blast in Southland at the moment.
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A Short and Apologetic Postscript
For some reason, this was a piece that didn't spring easily from my keyboard. I ended up cutting more than a thousand words from the original draft in order to lick it into shape. In addition to half-a-dozen excellent Russell Brown/Timaru jokes, the section that described the two heroes of the whole story unforgivably ended up on the cutting room floor:
Moving out of our house was an absolute nightmare. We set aside an entire day for cleaning, but the squalor of our baby-centric lifestyle meant that this wasn't nearly enough time. Happily, however, Public Address readers Judi Lapsley Miller and Linton Miller popped in to say 'hello', and spent the next four hours cleaning our kitchen. I've already written a letter to the Pope asking that they be canonized as saints.
Thanks again, Saint Judi & Saint Linton -- your kindness will not be forgotten!
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InternationalObserver wrote:
I am indeed Sir Francis B Baden-Hawthorne, the world's foremost structural engineer...
Ha! I thought it was you, Sir Francis. We meet again -- but this time the advantage is mine!
Fair enough to your concerns about the think-of-a-number-and-double-it outcome of some recent public projects. Having had the costs double on my own rigorously-analysed little construction project, I have some sympathy for the engineers on these items. Construction costs have risen enormously over the last couple of years, which many (including myself) failed to foresee.
My hostility to the cycle clip on is the cost vs benefit, given that there will be a second crossing soon(ish???) and a purpose built cycleway included in that seems eminently more sensible.
The getacross.org.nz people claim that there is no guarantee that a second harbour crossing will come soon, or will even include a cycleway. From their FAQ:
QUESTION: Why can’t we just include cycle and walking lanes in this next harbour crossing we keep hearing about?
ANSWER: One, it will take too long – even if it was agreed to start today, it will take at least 15 years to design, get consent and build it. Do we really want to wait that long to get across our own harbour?
Secondly, it is most likely that the next crossing will be a tunnel – and no pedestrians or cyclists would be allowed.
Incidentally, I'm all in favour of Richard Simpson's proposal -- seems like a absolutely brilliant idea, as far as I can tell. I'd only disagree with one point: rather than selling the existing bridge for scrap (as Richard proposes) wouldn't it be great to create an aerial park in the manner of the High Line or its inspiration, the Promenade Plantée, as per Jolisa Gracewood's suggestion. Now that's an unlikely idea.
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InternationalObserver wrote:
The main difference between cycling in AKLD and CHCH is ... CHCH is FLAT!! Auckland has hills.
Actually (a) CHCH has a bunch of hills that make AKLD's look like traffic humps (Cashmere, Redcliffs, Mt Pleasant, etc), and (b) hills are why modern bikes have lots of low gears.
The hills argument may have had some validity in the old 3-speed days, but I've cycled all round AKLD and CHCH on a modern bike, and the slight bumpiness of AKLD doesn't make much difference. And I'd also point out that CHCH has the Norwester, which AKLD is lucky enough to avoid (by a strange quirk of physics the Norwester always blows against any chosen cycling direction).
And I see no-one has argued with me re the true cost of a Harbour Bridge cycle clip on...
I take it you're a structural engineer, right? Because I've actually (briefly) worked as a structural engineer, and I certainly wouldn't feel qualified to either condemn or defend this proposal without seeing the details of what's actually proposed (although, I admit, the costing also sounds surprisingly low to me, at first glance). It may be that other PA readers have similar compunctions about making comments outside their areas of expertise -- rather than, as you've concluded, being unable to find flaws in your rigorous analysis!
According to the getacross.org.nz FAQ the low costs of their proposal is due to (a) their concept of reducing the width of the current road lanes in the current clip-ons (b) the fact that major maintenance is already required and this makes it much cheaper to build the cycle/walk lanes at the same time. I don't know enough to comment on whether this is reasonable, but I've dropped an email to getacross.org.nz, and asked them to post some details of their costing on this thread.
By the way, I see you haven't commented on the red herrings in Rudman's shuttle argument!
-----Forwarded message follows-----
> Hi getacross people,
>
> We've been having a discussion about your
> cycle/walking lane concept over on Public Address,
> with one reader promising to jump off the harbour
> bridge if your proposal costs the anticipated 3-5
> million dollars.
>
> Are you able to post a few details on the discussion
> thread about how you've worked out this costing, i.e.
> has this been done by a structural engineer, roading
> engineer, or similar?
>
> I suspect that -- for many people -- it's important to
> be able to have faith in the rigour of your costing
> scheme before they make a decision on the proposal.
>
> With many thanks,
> David Haywood -
And, by the way, the walking lane would be a major tourist attraction in itself. How many people have visited Sydney, and not walked over the harbour bridge?
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RE: Brian Rudman's anti-cycling piece in the Herald
Although he appears to have a good point about the previous shuttle trials on the Harbour Bridge, Rudman craftily glosses over the flaw that put most cyclists off using it (I recall several people complaining about this at the time).
This flaw was the waiting time. One of the advantages of cycling in comparison to buses is that you are not tied to a timetable. The shuttle link across the bridge removed that advantage. You could leave home whenever you wanted, but almost always had to wait for the shuttle at the bridge. This added considerably to the journey time, plus the not insignificant annoyance of waiting, of course.
Having lived in cycle-friendly CHCH for 13 years, I am thoroughly indoctrinated into the mindset of cycling as the preferred transport option. So much so that when I have returned for visits to AKLD, I have borrowed a bike and cycled there as well. Interestingly, I have found that I can keep up (and sometimes beat) rush-hour traffic to the city from as far away as Titirangi.
The main difference between cycling in AKLD and CHCH is that when you arrive at your destination, people in AKLD think you are suicidal to have travelled by bike, and -- when you deny this -- compliment you on your bravery in awed tones.
The rain-fall in Auckland is admittedly about six times that of CHCH, but for some years breathable rainwear has eliminated almost all the problems associated with cycling in the rain, e.g. this excellent product from Ground Effect.