Posts by BenWilson

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  • Hard News: The Bottom is a Magic Place,

    "All this bollix about fascicles is making me teste."

    LOL, nice. That was my first image, straight from a Desmond Morris book, someone's drawing of a male face with a dick for the nose and balls for the double chin. I found it a far fetched theory that nature had deliberately made our faces resemble our private parts <he says rubbing his fascicles and blowing his nallus>


    I think fascical is pretty safe, every Google usage seems to be a typo.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 10657 posts Report

  • Hard News: The Bottom is a Magic Place,

    Believe it or not I was invited this year to attend a seminar to learn how to squeeze people's problems out of their fascicles. The theory was that a lot of emotions manifest in tension there, and by manipulating them accompanied by some sort of guided tour of your emotions, you could get some huge physical and mental benefits. Which is strangely apt to the "accidental" usage 'above'.

    I didn't attend - my fascicles wouldn't let me. I've been talking to them about it ever since.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 10657 posts Report

  • Hard News: Because that's how I roll,

    I had one a couple of weeks ago, with a friend's mother who I set up with XTRA broadband. I made the shocking mistake of getting her a WIFI DSL router. Shocking not because it's crap technology, but because it gives XTRA so much more opportunity for muppet-outing. There's been at least 6 occasions when she's reached the end of her tether with their lame support and called me, and I've come over and fixed the problem in seconds, knowing full well if I was a technician at the ISP I could have done it remotely.

    The last one was them saying that the router must be totally stuffed because they were getting a very poor signal, and that she'd have to get a new one. I came over and noticed the phone cord had become tangled around a power cord. Untangle, problem solved. Their techos can't engage in the most basic problem solving outside of their process script book. The number of times I solved MY customer's similar problems with a few minutes of being logical.

    In their defense, though, I found it a lot longer a process when they had gear that someone else had supplied, or I had to deal with someone I didn't know. So I do have a lot of patience with them and sympathy for what is actually quite a hard job. I wonder if their service would improve hugely if you got allocated a support person with whom you developed a relationship.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 10657 posts Report

  • Hard News: Because that's how I roll,

    Hey, I've just realized. I F&%*$#% roll! Why should I feel guilty for telling people how I do it???

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 10657 posts Report

  • Hard News: Looking for Monsters,

    And to scare you a bit more, Project Orion

    Classic. I love the idea that the bigger it is, the better and more efficient. I bet the takeoff is a wild ride though. I wonder if we arrived anywhere there were aliens what they would think of an approach that involved firing 500 atomic bombs directly at them.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 10657 posts Report

  • Hard News: Because that's how I roll,

    Yeah those workplace discounts can be a double edged sword. You wouldn't believe how much half-price MacDonalds I ate while I worked there. Put me off for life.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 10657 posts Report

  • Hard News: Because that's how I roll,

    Mate, in Auckland drinking a hot chocolate is heresy unless it comes with a chocolate marshmallow fish.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 10657 posts Report

  • Hard News: Because that's how I roll,

    Sara, that is genius. But you have to share a marshmallow?

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 10657 posts Report

  • Hard News: Because that's how I roll,

    I used to give a shit about my file sharing until I got MySky. Now there's always something good on TV, for that brief period when I can be arsed. So I'm happy to wait for mates who do still obsess about getting every last byte out of their ISP to just fill up some SD sticks for me. The backlog of watchingz* is getting out of hand.

    *I feel that such idiomzzz are allowed to my race - pasty white man. But if I hear any gangsta using it, I'll get .... browned off? My rag on? Pinged up? Jeeez this idiom sensitivity is just too hard.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 10657 posts Report

  • Hard News: Because that's how I roll,

    Personally, I'm prepared to pay $10 more a month for Telecom/Xtra to have a single point of blame

    Yeah me too. It's almost my only reason these days. I've given up on file sharing, since they seem to detect it and throttle it. Silly them, since it was my only reason to have a high cap in the first place. So I dropped the cap, and pay them bugger all now.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 10657 posts Report

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