Cracker by Damian Christie

And the winner is...

There’s all sorts of exciting stuff happening in Crackerville these days. As those of you who read the Weekend papers may have seen, I’ve been asked to write a column for the new Herald on Sunday.

The little item introduced me as "blogger Damian Christie". Which I guess means I owe you all something. Figuratively speaking of course, you ain't getting squat from this Cracker. My mother texted me: "What's a Blogger?" And you just assume they care what you've been doing...

So the new column, it’s going to be pretty similar to Cracker, which is to say, I’ve got about as wide a mandate as it’s possible to have. Regular readers will know I don’t have much regard for the Sunday Star Times, so even excepting my inclusion, I’m happy we'll soon have some choice.

It also struck me today, when I received an email from the Young Conservative Formerly Known as MediaCow (who’s now sharing a stable with a few other bloggers at the very promising – in as much as it’s good, and promises to continue – Dog Biting Men), that I haven’t told you about my Listener Games column. So now I have. Every fortnight my review alternates with Chris Knox’s DVD review, on page 69. Also available on line of course, the latest review – The Sims 2 – is available here. Go wild.

The past month has been pretty busy, with the awards, the ASPA awards and last week, the New Zealand Music Awards. I’d never been to the latter before, and in some strange Cinderella tale, this year I was a judge. I’d like to think that’s because some New Zealand Music illuminati have been closely watching and measuring my progress, and nodding sagely to each other, this year deemed it was time I received a tap on the shoulder. I’ve since discovered it had more to do with the merger of two databases. Where has the romance gone, people?

The Tuis were a lot more lavish than I was expecting. The celebs were ferried between the Hilton and the venue in limousines, where they emerged to a screaming crowd. For me this was particular highlight - the first time I've seen a limo in this country that hasn't had a sixth former yelling drunkenly out the window "we're going to the baaaaaaaaall".

The awards themselves were good, or at least they looked like they were after they’d been edited down for TV. Me, I walked out after the first three (Best Classical, Jazz and Christian) looking for more of that firewater. Not so easy with the bar closed for the duration of the awards, but with a Minister of Youth Affairs Who Shall Remain Nameless causing a diversion, we were soon drinking happily.

After that, it’s pretty much a blur, although I vaguely remember becoming obnoxious and insulting someone, someone else, Aja Rock, and a couple of other people – not necessarily in that order. The next morning I woke up, happy it was the weekend, and relieved I didn’t have to go to work. An hour later I woke up – a little more sober – realised it was Thursday morning, and I was already late.

I don’t know what I’m more annoyed about, the fact that I completely forgot about International Talk Like A Pirate Day, or the fact that Belle de Jour has shut up shop. I only read half a dozen blogs with any regularity, and hers was one. All lasciviousness aside (and seriously, don’t click on the link unless you’re pretty open minded), she had a great turn of phrase. That’s a rare thing. Her archives are still there, so if you feel up to it, wade in.

On that, check out the new sites I’ve added over there --> They're all worth a read.

Finally, help machines on their quest to take over the world, or at least be better at 20 questions with this game. Or if you simply want to waste time, this one.