Cracker by Damian Christie

Please Please Me

I was reading the paper last week, when I came across this little gem:

An Auckland lawyer, conned out of $1.6 million in two separate classic Nigerian scams, is calling for banking restrictions to defeat overseas fraudsters.

So let's get this straight. The lawyer, in theory a smart, educated man, is ripped off – twice! – to the tune of $1.6 million. And the government should change the law, to stop stupid people from being able to send lots of money overseas. Fer'chrissake.

Knowing how much lawyers like personalised license plates, I've taken the liberty of organising one for you, my 'learned colleague’.

If anyone knows the name of this lawyer (I'm working on finding out) can they please email me? He's got name suppression, but I want to ensure that no one I know ever gives this fool a cent in professional fees. Having said that, there's a good chance the guy would work for Magic Beans.

The case, and the lawyer's subsequent call reminds me of the case late last month, where the mother of a boy attacked by a shar pei put in a complaint to Purex for using the dog in their "rolly" commercials. "The way I see it, it's almost false advertising," says the mother, who is clearly a moron.

When someone's child is attacked by a dog, the salutary lesson is "under no circumstances should children approach dogs, unless an adult says it's okay". Not "toilet paper ads featuring shar pei dogs should be banned."

If the phrase hadn't already been hijacked and rendered meaningless by that other famous imbecile, Muriel Newman, I'd be tempted to say it smacked of political correctness gone mad.

Speaking of which, I think I’m the only person not to have commented about Tamihere, excluding of course the people who haven’t commented about Tamihere; those that have made a point of not commenting about those people; and those who have in turn not commented on them. Only of course, to provoke no more comment.

God this blogging is a Right Royal Circle jerk sometimes.

Suffice to say, at what point did it seem like a good idea to allow JT to have his own – albeit postponed – radio show? Can’t everyone involved see the metaphorical Hindenburg hanging over Can West’s transmission tower? And what do Herr Jennings and Commandant Garner think about JT grazing at the same trough?