Cracker: A Halloween story too cute not to share
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My parents never had truck with Halloween (for religious rather than anti-CocaColonisation reasons). Eventually they bought a little Halloween detour sign and put it out in the front garden, and they say it works fine. Kids happily move on to the next house without stress or disappointment.
A certain large, energetic Huntaway-Rottweiller cross may be skewing that result a bit though.
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Yeah, our giant metal gates with a sign saying 'Dogs Running Free Inside: Do Not Enter' are pretty effective.
I am such a westie. :)
(Also, I say adopt Thanksgiving! You get to eat lots of great things, and no one expects gifts or goes door to door.)
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I recommend:
WARNING! Wash hands with cold water within five minutes of touching this surface.
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Alternatively: how about spending ten dollars in sweets and five seconds each with your kids' neighbours per year, you tight-arse philistines?
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Alternatively: how about spending ten dollars in sweets and five seconds each with your kids' neighbours per year, you tight-arse philistines?
I'm with you Giovanni. It can also be a nice way to meet the neighbours or like Jackie create a little community spirit.
Admittedly some kids just don't get it: the rules are, dress up in (good) costumes and get lollies. Not, just show up and get lollies.
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i'm firmly in the bah humbug camp, i'm afraid. standard practice at my house has become to put a hand written sign on the front door that says "no trick or treat sorry! shhhhhh baby sleeping".
**SNAP!!**
I've been doing that too for the past 3 years. Last year the damn kids actually broke the electronic lock on our gate and pushed their way in. Banged on my door and demanded lollies. I asked them "can't you read?" and "who broke my gate?" and they scarpered. No sign of any parents, either.
Kids these days ... need a good clip 'round the ear ... but no, it's against the Law ... I blame Helen Clarke ... </frothing> ... </falls to ground in spasm>
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(Also, I say adopt Thanksgiving! You get to eat lots of great things, and no one expects gifts or goes door to door.)
What do they give thanks for anyway?
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Alternatively: how about spending ten dollars in sweets and five seconds each with your kids' neighbours per year, you tight-arse philistines?
They're perfectly welcome to come spend 5 seconds with me!
Well, if they're happy to chance the "Beware of the pack of starving rottweiler/pitbull crosses" sign, they are.
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Alternatively: how about spending ten dollars in sweets and five seconds each with your kids' neighbours per year, you tight-arse philistines?
My get-out-of-jail-free card: I live on the second floor at the end of a long, long right-of-way, and our place looks studentish enough that most kids don't bother making the hike. I would buy a ton of sweets and stand on the balcony signalling the tykes to come running and dig in, but a) I can't be bothered and b) people would likely start asking questions about my motivation...
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What do they give thanks for anyway?
Smallpox.
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Smallpox.
Erm, yes, that is a little problematic. I was going with the more recent 'it's cranberry sauce and deep-fried turkey! Fuckin' A!' aspect of the whole celebration...
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The reason the locals supported the local Halloweening family - quite generously - was
a)they were locals (you cant just ignore people you know, see & be with frequently,) and
b)the kids (and parents) made interesting efforts to dress up *&*
learn a couple of tricks (different each year.)
A couple of times they brought friends and I recall with delight one tiny chap/chappess who licked the pages of the little book I gave it.
Hope over evidence - none of them were chocolate-coated...Really enjoyed your story Jackie!
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Alternatively: how about spending ten dollars in sweets and five seconds each with your kids' neighbours per year, you tight-arse philistines?
In my case they're not the neighbours kids because they don't have any. One year I actually saw the mini-van pull up, park on the corner, and all the kids came rolling out while Dad remained in the car listening to talkback.
Enterprising is one word, f-off is another ...
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What do they give thanks for anyway?
Smallpox.
I was vacillating between giving thanks to the native americans for saving them from starving over the first few winters, or for giving the native americans a range of diseases to suffer from for generations.
The latter seemed a bit mean of me, but is that what you're suggesting?
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One year I actually saw the mini-van pull up, park on the corner, and all the kids came rolling out while Dad remained in the car listening to talkback.
What I suggest is, next year you hire a mini bus or three, & transport a shit load of kids from all over the region to the top of the Glen in Kelburn & just let them troop down & back. The Glen residents will never notice (I think people from Karori do it anyway each year).
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The latter seemed a bit mean of me, but is that what you're suggesting?
Not so much suggesting as saying out right, I thought :-)
But I would totally get on board the cranberry sauce and deep-fried turkey idea too. Never understood why you can only get turkey at Christmas in this silly, silly country.
Mmmhhh, turkey.... glglglglgraaa.... -
What I suggest is, next year you hire a mini bus or three, & transport a shit load of kids from all over the region...
LOL!
Yes, I can see it now:
Me cruising down the suburban streets in my 10-seater mini-van at 3 kmph, pulling up alongside groups of young children, calling out "Hey kid - do you want some lollies? Every kid likes lollies, don't they? Hop in, I know where we can get some lollies. LOTS of lollies! C'mon, it's not far from here, I'll drive you!"
An if that doesn't pull them in maybe I could compliment them on their great costume and tell them I know of a Best Halloween Costume Competition just up the road that I'm sure they'd win. C'mon - hop in - I'll drive you. Your mother said it was okay!
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Yes, I can see it now:
And the rest of us would see it on the news the next night. Anyway, a new policy statement: Halloween isn't Satanic. It's socialist -- like Chirstmas -- as it enourages children to become dependent on begging for their processed sugar, as opposed to getting a badly paid job and earning it.
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Yes, I can see it now:
Me cruising down the suburban streets in my 10-seater mini-van at 3 kmph, pulling up alongside groups of young children, calling out "Hey kid - do you want some lollies?
Well, I was thinking you might transport your own & your friends' kids, but hey, live dangerously if you like :)
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Anyway, a new policy statement: Halloween isn't Satanic.
Our 16 year old (had a halloween party and) redefined the conventions by dressing as a angel.
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Halloween isn't Satanic. It's socialist -- like Chirstmas -- as it enourages children to become dependent on begging for their processed sugar, as opposed to getting a badly paid job and earning it.
Come on now. All God-fearing folk know that satanism and socialism are the same thing.
Although, that said, Halloween is more authentically socialist, in that children rise up with the threat of direct action to appropriate the means of hyperactivity, rather than demanding token goods under the false-consciousness rubric of Santa Claus... and I think I might just leave this argument be for now, would everyone like that?
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Any argument which contains the phrase 'the false-consciousness rubric of Santa Claus' is a winner by me!
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The Glen residents will never notice (I think people from Karori do it anyway each year).
Karori to Kelburn? Hmm. My mate at work tells me she takes her kids from Mangere to Mangere Bridge to trick and treat every year. Apparently the palagi give good lolly.
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Alternatively: how about spending ten dollars in sweets and five seconds each with your kids' neighbours per year, you tight-arse philistines?
Every year I buy lollies. Every year I put a broom or witch or candles at the door or some hastily got together signs of Halloween-ness. And every year I eat most of it myself. But this year I got two lots of visitors! Cool! I think it's a great way to meet the locals. There are not so many kids around here, and even if they are out-of-zoners I don't care, I think it's a good way for us adults to show we like and welcome kids. And as Jackie did, show some respect and get to know one another, be a community.When I lived in Greenhithe the local dairy guys gave away lollies to all the kids - a great way to cement your customer base.
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i don't mind kids having fun, but can't they find a kiwi way to do it instead of this wholesale adoption of americana?
I can hear my dad's voice here. "Bloody American traditions." Well they also bought us the motorcar, and hip-hop (and jazz and blues and rock and roll I believe), and space travel. What's wrong with a few of the neighbourhood kids coming past for a couple of hours one night a year? Either go and buy some lollipops and get to know your community, or build bigger fences and erect scarier signs. I know which I'd prefer.
And I know at least one PA reader who'd glady swap Halloween for a much more English tradition which terrifies his pets and kids each year, and for more than just one night too.
(and at least the little buggers in NZ haven't yet figured out what the "or treat" part refers to. Long may that be the case.)
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