Cracker by Damian Christie

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Cracker: Christmas Cracker (I've been waiting all year for that one)

9 Responses

  • Joanna,

    Isn't there a category on FindSomeone for "Need partner to show off to family gatherings" ?

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 746 posts Report Reply

  • Doddery Oldfart,

    Stranded in London many years ago, Xmas dinner cosisted of a Ryvita Biscuit with tomato sauce on.

    I'll take a well fed family fight anytime ...

    Piopio • Since Nov 2006 • 10 posts Report Reply

  • Joanna,

    How about a father making bad puns about the boy's name and a term for penises and then dropping into the Xmas dinner conversation that perhaps you should be more careful about deleting photos of genitals your paramour has sent to you via your parents' computer while you're visiting them for Xmas? Does that count as embarrassing if I just laughed it off?

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 746 posts Report Reply

  • Damian Christie,

    Are they still called a 'Paramour' if they're sending you photos of their genitals? Really?

    Similar happened to a friend of mine, sending photos of herself in various erotic poses to her boyfriend via her parents computer, forgot to delete them properly and there they were in the "most recent documents" folder. Father was less than impressed.

    There's a lesson here kids...

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1164 posts Report Reply

  • Joanna,

    Are they still called a 'Paramour' if they're sending you photos of their genitals? Really?

    According to dictionary.com they are! And I suspect my parents gave up on me when they found out we'd started a breast club with the scanner they bought me for the Xmas before. Oh the olden days of the interweb, what fun you were.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 746 posts Report Reply

  • Robyn Gallagher,

    I remember the breast club! It was ace. I wanted to contribute, but I couldn't get some alone time with the scanner at my parents' place.

    Raglan • Since Nov 2006 • 1946 posts Report Reply

  • Joanna,

    I remember the breast club! It was ace.

    You remember it because we at the tangata whenua of the NZ personal homepage of course.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 746 posts Report Reply

  • Span .,

    The only really bad Xmas story I have was something I was oblivious to at the time - I was basically completely unaware that my aunt and her family hated my mother and my sister until the scales fell from my eyes after a family dinner about eight years ago, but that's another story.

    Anyway on this particular Xmas day, my racist uncle insisted on telling my sister's new boyfriend at length about how all samoan men are rapists, knowing full well that said boyfriend was part samoan. That man (the boyfriend, not the uncle) is now my (wonderful) brother-in-law, and that other man (the uncle, not the boyfriend) is rarely seen these days (strictly weddings and funerals only). What a total and utter c*ck.

    Lovely how the silly season brings out the best in us all isn't it?

    Auckland, NZ • Since Nov 2006 • 112 posts Report Reply

  • nick watts,

    Just spent 10 days around Europe with the Mrs & our two screaming kids. Add christmas stress to the mix and you have a plethora of problems!

    However for this post I'm happy to say my kids weren't as bad as this spoiled christams brat!

    http://www.current.tv/google/GC02296

    nick.

    auckland • Since Jan 2007 • 2 posts Report Reply

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