Field Theory: 25 Things you need to be a man
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I always enjoyed the subtext to Rambo I
The Rambo 1 (or 'First Blood' for the pub quiz pedants out there) stuff is very interesting.
The original book on which the story is based is apparently much more explicit about the father/son-type relationship between Rambo and Trautman, and the training which Rambo is subjected to by Trautman in order to burn his humanity out of him, and turn him into a ruthless killing machine.
The conclusion to the story is that the 'son' has been comprehensively betrayed by the 'father' explicitly because in teaching him to become a remorseless killer, the 'father' has taught him the exact opposite of what he needs to survive as a man in the modern world, and has in fact forced him to 'unlearn' what he would need (humanity). The contrast with that point and the fact that Rambo has become almost the pinnacle of the traditional view of 'Manhood' probably doesn't need to be pointed out....
Of course, by the time the story transitioned on to the silver screen, most of that was lost.
Personally I've found memorising the XVIII Sonnet, The Sun Rising and other bits and bobs of classic love poetry then deploying them strategically and at the right moment very *ahem* *cough* handy. If you've never tried it, give it a shot.
Heh. The old 'pretend to be sensitive in order to get laid' trick, eh?
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There [sic] actually lady-shops for gentleman.
So, anything to do with grooming, adornment or connoisseurship is automatically associated with the feminine?
This all signals that there are multiple connotations of "man": most of them, such as the Popular Mechanics one, equate "man" with "bloke"; FHM equates "man" with "lad"; and I am quite happily countering that by conflating "man" with "gentleman".
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I suspect, Tom, that you really conflate "man" with "fop".
Jus' sayin'.
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WH,
The contrast with that point and the fact that Rambo has become almost the pinnacle of the traditional view of 'Manhood' probably doesn't need to be pointed out....
I think it has tended to be seen in the light of the sequels, where Rambo is a juggernaut cum polymath (okay, not a polymath) rather than a person* struggling to adjust to life within an indifferent society.
*Probably still not one to admit to liking at parties.
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Heh. The old 'pretend to be sensitive in order to get laid' trick, eh?
In our household, we call that 'Fuck Me, I'm Sensitive', and it is regarded with huge suspicion. It's pretty funny to watch, though. :)
It's been done.
OK, any list which says 'resist the urge to gossip' is totally bung.
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I suspect, Tom, that you really conflate "man" with "fop".
I prefer the word "dandy". Though if preferring good clothes and fine wine to torque wrenches and backing trailers makes one a fop, here's to foppery!
Who said anything about femininity? or masculinity for that matter. Ladies and gentleman, we are talking about gender accentuation. Its choreography.
I know that the language is fraught and complex here, and that "feminine" =/= "lady", but I'd have thought that the phrase "lady-shops for gentleman" was a clear indication that you considered the purchase of cufflinks and Chablis more ladylike/feminine/womanly, or less gentlemanly/masculine/manly, than the purchase of glue guns and two-by-fours.
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The Rambo 1 (or 'First Blood' for the pub quiz pedants out there)
Most F*&ed up "sequence" of titles ever.
1) First Blood
2) Rambo: First Blood Part II
3) Rambo 3What happened to Rambo 2 ?
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Actually, given the references to escaping from outraged husbands and general debauchery, I think Tom might be about to cross the line between fop and rake.
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Actually, given the references to escaping from outraged husbands and general debauchery, I think Tom might be about to cross the line between fop and rake.
Why thank you, good sir.
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OK, any list which says 'resist the urge to gossip' is totally bung.
I was more put off by "60. Create a Sacred Space"
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If my sweetie has a G-spot (and a vagina to keep it in) I've got to give back that toaster oven and the complete run of homosexual agendas. Bugger, so to speak. And my female acquaintances are not that helpful.
Craig, he has one, you have one, we all potentially have one - male and female. Do a little googling, it's a long way from being a myth or a secret.
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I was more put off by "60. Create a Sacred Space"
That might be where you use the torque wrench?
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Hey! I can shoot things just like everyone else!
And everyone reckons I conduct warfare on rodents with a vigour that would cause a tear to spring to the corner of Herr Himmlers eye.
Stupid rodents, unexpectedly scurrying out from behind things and frighteneing people.
Oh and I haven't used the sensitive guy routine since I hit 25. Well, except for once, and to my surprise it still works.
Rake?? RAKE????
Sir, I demand satisfaction!
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Rake?? RAKE????
Sir, I demand satisfaction!
The I suggest you see Mr Savidge about your G-spot.
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I agree with the earlier comment(s) that these sorts of lists often descend into "I can do this, and you can't, so I am a SUPERIOR ELITE you PLEBS"-ness. And, indeed, I find a lot of the actual items on the Popular Mechanics list annoying - the baseline assumption that to be a man, you must be a driver, for instance. But let's not quibble about the individual points: what they're basically getting at is the idea that you should be able to do stuff for yourself if you have to - that you shouldn't necessarily be dependent on someone else to get stuff done for you.
Note that this doesn't mean that you would necessarily always do stuff yourself: it makes sense for me to get a painter in to repaint the house, because although I can quite happily do it it's actually more cost effective for me to pay someone to do it in two days rather than have me take a week off.
But I think what they're stabbing at is that, in your own environment, you should be able to do stuff for yourself if you need to. And even for the most dedicated urban dandy, there are going to be times that you need to jury-rig something until you can get the professionals in.
Of course, three things are always manly:
1) Beards
2) Scars
3) Tattoos -
Rake?? RAKE????
Sir, I demand satisfaction!
The I suggest you see Mr Savidge about your G-spot.
Um no. I provide information, not stimulation.
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And I should mention that using a torque wrench is stupidly easy. It's is as simple as checking the torque for the part you're installing (they're very useful for carbon fibre bicycle parts, where torque ratings are very specific), and setting the wrench to that. Then just attach your socket driver and away you go - once you get over the torque setting, the wrench starts to slip, so you can't overtighten it.
Simple as breakfast.
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Jack - yes, that's what I was getting at - being competent enough to do basic stuff for yourself if you need to (doesn't matter if you're male or female).
Of course, three things are always manly:
1) Beards
2) Scars
3) Tattoos4) Laughing at pain. Your own or that of a friend.
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Oh, and the best thing about torque wrenches is that they usually have an enormously long shaft.....
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I find a lot of the actual items on the Popular Mechanics list annoying - the baseline assumption that to be a man, you must be a driver, for instance.
Hear hear!
But let's not quibble about the individual points: what they're basically getting at is the idea that you should be able to do stuff for yourself if you have to - that you shouldn't necessarily be dependent on someone else to get stuff done for you.
And why should that not apply equally to women?
But I think what they're stabbing at is that, in your own environment, you should be able to do stuff for yourself if you need to. And even for the most dedicated urban dandy, there are going to be times that you need to jury-rig something until you can get the professionals in.
Oh, of course. I've been known to improvise a cocktail shaker from old Maraschino cherry jars, add a fur collar to my dressing gown or translate the occasional passage of Rimbaud, just to make do in the absence of a professional bartender, tailor or Francophone.
Of course, three things are always manly:
1) Beards
2) Scars
3) TattoosThe third usually counts, unless it's of flowers and Art Nouveau ladies in flowing dresses. Ahem.
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I think Tom might be about to cross the line between fop and rake.
And 'tis but a small step from a rake to a roué ..
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I find a lot of the actual items on the Popular Mechanics list annoying - the baseline assumption that to be a man, you must be a driver, for instance.
Isn't that in the original post? ah yes it is:
In fact, can the Popular Mechanics' version of a man (even the new provider/protector version) exist in urban settings where owning a car isn't an asset but knowing the best place for cheap Thai food is?
And I knew I shouldn't have edited them out but the first draft had " " around every "man".
Tom B's Urban Male overlaps the Traditional Man from PopMech in the ideas of being a strong survivor in their relative environments. I purposefully removed any skills that were about creation/creativity. As someone said much earlier the Traditional Man skills are about "doing things", which I put at the opposite end of the spectrum to "creating things".
Actually, given the references to escaping from outraged husbands and general debauchery, I think Tom might be about to cross the line between fop and rake.
Yeah but did you ever kill a rat with a rake?
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Also I didn't want anything in the list about sexual prowess because, quite frankly, it's a good thing if both (all?) participants have teh bedroom skillz.
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Try it like this: Placemakers and Miter10 are gentleman-shop for Ladies.
I'm not entirely sure where your analogy is going. There's still the underlying assumption that if you're a man, you're interested in carpentry and suchlike, and that is an assumption that I reject. Quite apart from the fact that such barns of blokiness are normally situated in godawful suburbs, the only real reason that a gentleman need visit such a place is for picture hooks.
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Something I'm detecting about this thread. Might we be getting confused about what it is to be a towny? rather than urban manly.
Well, exactly. The whole Popular Mechanics assumption is based upon a rural/suburban lifestyle, which Hadyn has countered by suggesting that urban survival is based upon negotiating a landscape of social interactions, cultural symbolism and economic interdependence rather than a world of nuts and bolts. But somehow, the thread went quickly back to power tools.
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