Field Theory by Hadyn Green

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Field Theory: How's that working out for you? Being clever?

445 Responses

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  • BenWilson, in reply to Robyn Gallagher,

    This promotion is at serious risk of alienating (or at least depressing) members of society who are going through a bit of a dry spell.

    Yes, I'm now scared to allow any ads on TV (thank God for MySky), in case my wife sees them.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 10657 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    Not a photoshop:

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report Reply

  • Lyndon Hood,

    Video as above, plus attribute-to-Telecom-guy quote.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1115 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha, in reply to Emma Hart,

    speechless

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19745 posts Report Reply

  • Barrytrevorbruce, in reply to Lyndon Hood,

    Ha ha...yeh sorry, not funny at all, call me a hater...but this is STUPID!!!!!!!!!

    Auckland • Since Aug 2011 • 5 posts Report Reply

  • Tom Beard,

    Oh sweet mother of Beelzebub!

    And is it just me, or does Fitzy look disturbingly like John Key in some of those frames?

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1040 posts Report Reply

  • Bart Janssen, in reply to Tom Beard,

    does Fitzy look disturbingly like John Key in some of those frames?

    Ah so that's why it looks photoshopped - it originally was John Key.

    At least until Paula told him what big pink fists get used for in West Auckland.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 4461 posts Report Reply

  • Bart Janssen,

    Statistical sampling from our lab (n=3)

    "That's. Just. Wrong."

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 4461 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha, in reply to Tom Beard,

    does Fitzy look disturbingly like John Key

    sounds really similar, with the slurring and all

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19745 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    People who were at the Auckland OGB might like to contemplate this:
    - who did Russell use to try to put us off sex?
    - who's the Minister for the Rugby World Cup?
    Co-incidence? Probably.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report Reply

  • Danielle, in reply to Bart Janssen,

    At least until Paula told him what big pink fists get used for in West Auckland.

    I am apparently missing out on some fun local activities.

    Charo World. Cuchi-cuchi!… • Since Nov 2006 • 3828 posts Report Reply

  • Barrytrevorbruce,

    So this is now what marketing is....come up with some stupid and slightly offensive campaign that is going to cause some outrage, so it's all over social media and then radio and then TV...but not offensive enough so that you can tell people to "lighten up" and "get a sense of humour". This is just embarassing and stupid and should never have been allowed to be associated with the All Blacks. MAKE IT STOP
    !!!!!!!!!!

    Auckland • Since Aug 2011 • 5 posts Report Reply

  • Tom Beard,

    That logo is a bit disturbing: it seems to imply that abstinence involves tucking one's bits away. Our fucking ourselves from the outside in.

    On the assumption that this is not all a massive wind-up (and I'm expecting Jeremy Wells to pop into frame at any moment), there are actually some serious issues underlying all the laughably bad ideas here. I know it's all supposed to be jokey, but it's still an expression of a deep strain of sex-negativity in our culture. Sex is frivolous, a temptation, a distraction from the serious business of ... well, of watching men stick their heads between other men's thighs, but that's for another thread.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1040 posts Report Reply

  • Steve Barnes,

    Fitzy in a giant pink bumper car shaped as a fist for the All Black abstain campaign

    May I suggest any readers contemplating following this advice to be sure to remove all rings, bangles and wristwatches first and lube well. I fear for those on the receiving end of such a promotion.

    Peria • Since Dec 2006 • 5521 posts Report Reply

  • Ian Dalziel,

    absit omen…
    I can see the brainstorming session now…
    “Let’s come up with a promotion based around
    words that start with abs!”
    “Oh, right, like short for the All Blacks, brilliant!”
    “But we can’t use words that imply sudden departure
    like absquatulation, or absence, abscond or abscess, even”
    “oooh, I know, abstemious sounds good…”
    “Hell no, we don’t want the sponsors products undrunk!”
    “So I guess abstract is too insubstantial, then…”
    “…and esoteric, abridge too far in fact.”
    “How about something absurd, like abstinence,
    just like those stoic and Spartan Greeks.”
    “Hmmm, I think Lysistrata was about women?”
    “I guess this is a kind of pally Polynesian war…
    “And whose gonna know…”
    “…those Greeks were big on sportsmen and mens’ sports
    Sean Fitzpatrick and Patrick fits Sean and all that…”
    “Super, classical, I love it and it’s delightfully abstruse as well!”

    “Now where can we get a dodgy pink dodgem car…”
    “…shaped like a fist with a docking ring on one finger?”

    “God, we’re good!”

    “5 minutes, that’s a record – how much shall we charge?”
    <Kaching>

    [afterthought: - maybe it's a case of Chinese Whispers
    and the way NZ will win is if the abs train ...]

    Christchurch • Since Dec 2006 • 7953 posts Report Reply

  • Steve Barnes, in reply to Barrytrevorbruce,

    So this is now what marketing is....

    Indeed. The whole Adidas debacle was, in my opinion, just a marketing ploy. The $220 RRP was just that, a recommended retail price. I would guess, going on past experience in th retail sector, that the wholesale price would be around $50-55 allowing a resale mark-up of 150%. A retailer could afford to "drop" the RRP and still make a fair profit as turnover would increase as a result of the extra publicity caused by the "outrageous" price calculating that the "once in a lifetime chance" to own such a shirt would outweigh the negative perception.

    Peria • Since Dec 2006 • 5521 posts Report Reply

  • Steve Barnes, in reply to Ian Dalziel,

    “But we can’t use words that imply sudden departurelike absquatulation, or absence, abscond or abscess, even”“oooh, I know, abstemious sounds good…”“Hell no, we don’t want the sponsors products undrunk!”“So I guess abstract is too insubstantial, then…”

    You forgot Acrylonitrile butadiene styrene (ABS)
    The all plastic all blacks...
    Or anti-lock braking system (ABS, from German: Antiblockiersystem)
    This thing could run without skidmarks.

    Peria • Since Dec 2006 • 5521 posts Report Reply

  • giovanni tiso, in reply to Russell Brown,

    I don't get the relentless negativity, I really don't.

    You don't say! :-)

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report Reply

  • giovanni tiso, in reply to Emma Hart,

    Not a photoshop:

    Okay. First off: that could have come with a warning of some kind, no? Secondly: is it me, or are we only being asked to abstain from getting it on with the opposite sex? Because that would open interesting possibilities.

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha, in reply to Steve Barnes,

    allowing a resale mark-up of 150%

    you're thinking of fruit and veges :)

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19745 posts Report Reply

  • Craig Ranapia, in reply to Russell Brown,

    I don’t get the relentless negativity, I really don’t.

    Neither do I – really, I don’t care but I’m sure there are plenty of folks out there who are (inexplicably) equally indifferent to the pending arrival of Torchwood: Miracle Day and the return of Doctor Who.

    But, Jesus, bullshit like this and the Adidas non-troversy ( don't buy the fucking thing ) really isn’t doing much to enhance my RWC-related zen.

    North Shore, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 12370 posts Report Reply

  • Ian Dalziel, in reply to Steve Barnes,

    You forgot Acrylonitrile butadiene styrene (ABS)
    The all plastic all blacks...

    Yeah, I know, I also left out the classic 6-pack abs as well...

    Christchurch • Since Dec 2006 • 7953 posts Report Reply

  • Tom Ackroyd,

    Telecom: "We are using tongue and cheek humour".

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 159 posts Report Reply

  • giovanni tiso, in reply to Craig Ranapia,

    really, I don’t care but I’m sure there are plenty of folks out there who are (inexplicably) equally indifferent to the pending arrival of Torchwood: Miracle Day and the return of Doctor Who.

    I have yet to see ads for those shows suggesting that it’s your moral duty to watch them. One I got in my inbox today concerning the RWC – a spin off from SKY’s abhorrent military-themed campaign – ended with the words “Do it now cupcake.” To which I mentally responded “fuck off, arsehole”. Must be my relentless negativity.

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report Reply

  • Hadyn Green, in reply to Sacha,

    sounds really similar, with the slurring and all

    I thought I was the only one who noticed that

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2090 posts Report Reply

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