Hard News by Russell Brown

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Hard News: Life Goes On

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  • Lucy Stewart,

    Several others thought that NZ was like England in the 1950s.

    One of the great aggravations of my life was getting to the Gerard Durrell book where he goes to New Zealand and having him describe it as just like being in England. Admittedly, this was the fifties, but after the lavish praise he afforded basically every other country mentioned in his books it was depressing.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2105 posts Report

  • linger,

    That would be Two in the Bush (which covers NZ, Australia and, uh, Malaysia I think).
    He did describe some things as being different from England.
    Most notably, the "6 o'clock swill", which gets a typically embellished Durrell description.
    About the one thing he was ecstatically positive about was the "Kakaporium" at Mt Bruce; he'd basically given up any hope of seeing one at that point.

    Tokyo • Since Apr 2007 • 1944 posts Report

  • Joe Wylie,

    One of the great aggravations of my life was getting to the Gerard Durrell book where he goes to New Zealand and having him describe it as just like being in England. Admittedly, this was the fifties . . t

    Alexei Sale dumped on NZ in a similar fashion after returning from a stint down under to pimp Morrison bikes on TV (__I've got a brand new Morrison__). Fair enough, except he described mid-80s NZ as being stuck in the 50s of his UK childhood, with the antediluvian BBC puppet show Muffin the Mule ruling the TV ratings. Although the show had been defunct since 1955 and has never aired in NZ, it didn't stop Alexei giving his audience what they wanted to hear.

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 4593 posts Report

  • Peter Ashby,

    Best foreign comedian comment was Billy Connolly's about Invergiggle. He said the place was so quiet he felt like runnng naked through the streets yelling 'bring out your dead, bring out your dead'.

    The world is not entirely ignorant of NZ though. The missus and I were once driving around the Pas de Callais looking for breakfast on a Sunday morning and we find a bar/cafe in a small village. We walk in and in my best French I ask for an organge juice for said spouse. This was met with a stony silence and was repeated several times until one of the patrons intervened on our behalf to get the scene over with. The sense of Froideur was palpable.

    We were then asked if we were Anglettere to which we replied: non, nous sommes Nouvelle Zealandais, which, after being corrected resulted in the Froideur being lost completely. 'Ah, le rugby!', 'oui, le rugby' big smiles. 'Ah, l'Affair Rainbow', 'oui' lots of Gallic shrugs on both sides indicating that they thought it Grande Mal too. Then ensued a stilted conversation about various rugby players. It was agreed that Didier Canberroberro was indeed good but his Papa was apparently better etc, etc.

    Only the fact that I had to drive to Callais and we had a ferry booking stopped us being plied with endless shots of the local firewater and being invited to meet the wife, kids and grannies.

    Ah, le rugby

    Dundee, Scotland • Since May 2007 • 425 posts Report

  • Paul Litterick,

    Ah, le rugby

    Daccord. I was walking down Queen Street in Auckland one night, the night of a big game between Les Touts Noirs and Ingerland. Such was the enthusiasm for the game among one group of young men that they were haranguing passers-by. As I passed, one of them asked me "are you English?" I was born in England but on this occasion I decided to shake my head and move on.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 1000 posts Report

  • Matthew Poole,

    Whilst I'd agree that National should have actually said so, I'm pretty sure that they didn't mean for the policy to run forever. Like Labour's bank deposit insurance scheme, these ideas are only for the short term to increase confidence.

    John, you don't invest in the stock market "for the short term". At the least you look medium-term (which economists call a period somewhere between three and seven years), and the commonly-accepted view is that shares are a long-term investment. To suggest that National would get the Cullen Fund into the NZX "for the short term", especially for such enormous values, is either naive on your part, or accurate and thus so incredibly disturbing that no National MP should be permitted to even be issued a credit card due to their total absence of financial competence. Certainly they should be kept as far from the Treasury benches as is possible in Parliament.

    Auckland • Since Mar 2007 • 4097 posts Report

  • Kumara Republic,

    Why do US newspapers come out and endorse candidates and ours do not?
    Well, not explicitly.

    Because ours are worried that if they explicitly declared themselves to be National party pamphlets, a non-National government might notice that they are an unregulated and abusive monopoly?

    I believe it's called Mutually Assured Unbundling.

    The southernmost capital … • Since Nov 2006 • 5446 posts Report

  • Paul Williams,

    Late to party, you all been talking about National's plan to mandate 40 per cent domestic investments right... just thought you might be interested to note that the Australia Future Fund posted only 1.5 per cent growth for 07/08 (CPI was 4.5) compared with 7.4 per cent in the previous year... perhaps John know's better however as they have only 9 per cent domestic holdings (excluding cash and Telstra - the latter which is in escrow so can't be counted on the same basis as other holdings) compared with roughly 20 in global equities.

    Former Treasurer Peter Costello changed the tax rules back in 06/07 to encourage additional contributions of up to $1million. I can't say he's feeling happy - nor are those who'd planned to retire soon. Frankly, though none of this was completely foreseeable, it does raise fundamental concerns with Key's approach. How are politicians qualified to manage your super? How will they manage the need for infrastructure growth compared with investment returns?

    Sydney • Since Nov 2006 • 2273 posts Report

  • JohnAmiria,

    John, the 40% has been reported as of the total fund, not of only new investment.

    Well that's silly. My portfolio is down 25% but I'm not 'divesting'. You hang on to what you've got - unless they're dogs and /or you need the money.

    John, you don't invest in the stock market "for the short term". At the least you look medium-term (which economists call a period somewhere between three and seven years), and the commonly-accepted view is that shares are a long-term investment.

    Thanks for explaining it Mathew. How long till you retire BTW?

    To suggest that National would get the Cullen Fund into the NZX "for the short term", especially for such enormous values, is either naive on your part, or accurate and thus so incredibly disturbing that...

    As I said, who else is going to buy into our sharemarket a.k.a. back NZ business? The NZX is likely to remain stagnant for some time, one possible outcome being that the Aussies will come over and buy us up cheap, as is their habit.

    ...that no National MP should be permitted to even be issued a credit card due to their total absence of financial competence.

    Yes yes - National bad, Labour good. I get it.

    hither and yon • Since Aug 2008 • 215 posts Report

  • Idiot Savant,

    I actually like the idea of our Super Fund investing in the NZ share market for the next few years. Gawd knows no-one else is going to.

    So our superannuation fund should prop up the asset values of the already rich?

    No thanks.

    Palmerston North • Since Nov 2006 • 1717 posts Report

  • Stephen Judd,

    Idiot, why do you persist in this delusional belief that only rich people own shares?

    On your own site and here you seem unable to cope with the concept that ordinary people have investments.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 3122 posts Report

  • Stephen Judd,

    he described mid-80s NZ as being stuck in the 50s of his UK childhood, with the antediluvian BBC puppet show Muffin the Mule ruling the TV ratings. Although the show had been defunct since 1955 and has never aired in NZ, it didn't stop Alexei giving his audience what they wanted to hear.

    Dude, he's not exactly accurate about the UK, either. He's a comedian, not an investigative journalist.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 3122 posts Report

  • Craig Ranapia,

    Interning for a tabloid in NY, I was asked, on more than one occasion, when I'd get around to speaking with an American accent.

    "I'm only here for two months," I'd tell them.

    "So? Speak like an American," one replied.

    Of course, in New Zealand, you'd never anyone snigger at anyone else's accent -- like George W. Bush's pronunciation of "nuclear". :) And was I the only person who raised an eyebrow in a Spock-like manner when one of the more critically and commercially successful straight plays on Broadway last year was a revival of Pygmalion?

    And I still don't know whether to be charmed or horribly offended when American acquaintances compliment me on my charming English accent.

    North Shore, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 12370 posts Report

  • Craig Ranapia,

    Idiot, why do you persist in this delusional belief that only rich people own shares?

    What, you mean my retirement savings don't consist of a plantation of magic money trees? Bugger. :)

    North Shore, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 12370 posts Report

  • Rich Lock,

    It could also explain those Britons' belief that NZ hasn't progressed since the postwar period.

    A sizeable proportion of Britons seem to (consciously or unconsciously) think that Britain hasn't progressed since the empire disintegrated.

    "Two world wars and one [soccer] world cup", anyone?

    Local pig-ignorance is not a local phenomenon. One NZ'er of my acquaintence was on his OE and living in Portsmouth, and was asked if he lived in a mud hut back home.

    back in the mother countr… • Since Feb 2007 • 2728 posts Report

  • Danielle,

    You know, I forgot the maddest/most infuriating question of them all, which was consistent, happened dozens of times with people from all walks of life, and was in reaction to news that we were moving back to New Zealand:

    <honest befuddlement shading into vague resentment> 'Why are you doing that?'

    It was as if I'd never existed until I entered the US, and leaving it meant that I would cease to exist again. I was heading off to the Inferior, non-USA Area of the Globe.

    (Ironically, the most understanding person about this issue was my cousin Wendy, who has never left Simmesport, Louisiana, pop. 3000. 'That's your home, right?' she said. Yes. Right.)

    Charo World. Cuchi-cuchi!… • Since Nov 2006 • 3828 posts Report

  • Craig Ranapia,

    Because ours are worried that if they explicitly declared themselves to be National party pamphlets, a non-National government might notice that they are an unregulated and abusive monopoly?

    *sigh* Rich: Even if I accepted your premise, which I don't, I'd like to give any future "non-National government" a little more credit than believing they'd try to spite fuck the media for not playing nice. At the risk of Godwining myself, that would deserve an f-bomb or two.

    North Shore, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 12370 posts Report

  • giovanni tiso,

    It was as if I'd never existed until I entered the US, and leaving it meant that I would cease to exist again. I was heading off to the Inferior, non-USA Area of the Globe.

    It wasn't so much the case ten years ago, but now whenever it transpires with somebody back home that I live in New Zealand the response is invariably a variation on "you lucky bastard". I happen to concur...

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report

  • Rich of Observationz,

    England in the 1950s

    - No central heating
    - No double glazing
    - 20/30 year old cars
    - Motorcycle gang panic
    - Amphetamines
    - Fizzy beer

    I love it here really!

    Back in Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 5550 posts Report

  • Rich of Observationz,

    You don't accept that there is a newspaper monopoly in every NZ city Craig?

    Where can I buy a copy of the Wellington Times, the Wellington Herald or the Wellington Guardian then?

    Back in Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 5550 posts Report

  • Bronwen Joyner,

    Re the Robocalls - SO SO annoying. I struggle to see how even a crazy person would be convinced to vote for someone on the basis of a robo call. Especially with the voice that's used - it's like an action movie trailer.
    Here we come home and have at least one sometimes two McCain robocalls on our voice mail a day. On the other hand, I have only had one very nice personal Obama call and I'm thinking because we are a proud Obama household they crossed us off the list because we haven't had another call.

    The ratio of beautiful glossy brochures does favor Obama about 3 to 1 though. They clearly have the support of the beautiful glossy pamphlet makers.

    Norfolk, Virginia • Since Nov 2006 • 6 posts Report

  • Craig Ranapia,

    You don't accept that there is a newspaper monopoly in every NZ city Craig?

    I was thinking more of the "National Party pamplet" crack, Rich. And I do happen to think that whoever has the Treasury benches in three weeks will have marginally more pressing concerns on their minds. Or I hope so.

    Meanwhile, who do newspapers actually support either explicitly or implicitly? Back when Russell was doing Mediawatch, he did a useful reality check on the conspiracy theory that Rupert Murdoch was forcing his newspapers to take a pro-Iraq editorial line, using the truly eccentric methodology of looking at editorials on the subject . It simply wasn't true -- at least in New Zealand.

    But even if the New Zealand Herald wasn't quite so fucking stupid, I'd still have issues with it being the only daily newspaper in New Zealand's largest media market. But how exactly does any government address that, unless you think it's actually a good idea for the government to be starting up and running newspapers (which is, to put it politely, a recipe for oceans of red ink)?

    North Shore, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 12370 posts Report

  • Matthew Poole,

    How long til you retire

    It's a long-term proposition :P

    As I said, who else is going to buy into our sharemarket a.k.a. back NZ business? The NZX is likely to remain stagnant for some time, one possible outcome being that the Aussies will come over and buy us up cheap, as is their habit.

    And 40% of a fund that's got a 12-figure value will thoroughly destroy the market, because there will be so much money chasing the minuscule market cap of the NZX. Not to mention that it would be recklessly irresponsible, because there's no way that the NZ market is a good investment for such a large proportion of the fund. We're a tiny market that matters not a damn on the world stage. The Cullen Fund isn't there to prop up our economy, it's there to ensure that we can afford to have an aging, retired population in 20, 30, 40 years' time. Propping up NZ's under-performing markets isn't compatible with that goal.

    Auckland • Since Mar 2007 • 4097 posts Report

  • Dinah Dunavan,

    but now whenever it transpires with somebody back home that I live in New Zealand the response is invariably a variation on "you lucky bastard"

    If I had a dollar for every american that had said that to me over the last 16 years... I'd have ...$2.49
    I'm always amazed that there are any liberals still living in the USofA, I'd have fled screaming years ago.

    Dunedin • Since Jun 2008 • 186 posts Report

  • giovanni tiso,

    Re the Robocalls - SO SO annoying. I struggle to see how even a crazy person would be convinced to vote for someone on the basis of a robo call. Especially with the voice that's used - it's like an action movie trailer.

    He was a man who played by own rules. A maverick. A hero. And now he had less than two weeks to destroy his enemy and save the world. John McCain is... "Screwed." Only in theatres.

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report

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