Hard News by Russell Brown

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Hard News: The Commercial Crunch

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  • Stuart Coats,

    I'm crap at haiku, but limericks.....

    There was a young fellow named Stacey
    Who you had to support just in case he
    Chipped over the line
    And gathered in time
    To give it to someone more pacey

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 192 posts Report Reply

  • Brett Larsen,

    Stacey holds the ball
    Guess Grand Final time is here
    Kiwi spring blossoms

    Manurewa • Since Nov 2006 • 4 posts Report Reply

  • LegBreak,

    You guys crack me up.
    Where’s the bit when Stacey is
    Walking on water?

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1162 posts Report Reply

  • giovanni tiso,

    Are we allowed to cheer from the sidelines? Stuart, that was just grand.

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report Reply

  • Steve Barnes,

    Hmmm! Advertising--that great mix of pseudo science and 'orrible hucksterism. One question I have always wanted to ask an adman: when TVCs make the claim '30% larger' or "13 % percent longer" or 'new and improved"--effing larger or longer or newer than what???

    The one that gets me is "Fresh" , everything should be fresh when it's packed. Perhaps someone will come up with a label where the word "Fresh" dissapears after a day or two.
    Ooh, I just did. Dibs on that invention. :-)

    Peria • Since Dec 2006 • 5521 posts Report Reply

  • Geoff Lealand,

    ..and then there is "natural".

    Screen & Media Studies, U… • Since Oct 2007 • 2537 posts Report Reply

  • Heather W.,

    Steve,

    There is already a fruit ripeness label that changes colour so "Fresh" disappearing label should be a possibility.

    North Shore • Since Nov 2008 • 189 posts Report Reply

  • Steve Barnes,

    And then there is tadaaaa ORGANIC
    Yes folks, 4-Phenyl-4-(1-piperidinyl)-cyclohexanol, also known as PPC, is an organic chemical which is often found as a metabolite of phencyclidine (PCP). It has been shown to cause increases in Locomotor activity in lab mice.
    or
    benzoylmethyl ecgonine, is a crystalline tropane alkaloid that is obtained from the leaves of the coca plant.[5] The name comes from "coca" in addition to the alkaloid suffix -ine, forming cocaine.
    or
    Methyl isocyanate (MIC) is an organic compound It is extremely toxic. The threshold limit value set by the American Conference on Government Industrial Hygienist was 0.02 ppm which is an extremely low concentration. MIC can damage by inhalation, ingestion and contact in quantities as low as 0.4 ppm.
    So good for you eh?

    Peria • Since Dec 2006 • 5521 posts Report Reply

  • Jeremy Andrew,

    Yup, nothing like that natural arsenic to give a healthy glow, or if you want doubleplusgood - natural, organic hemlock, as recommended by Socrates.

    Hamiltron - City of the F… • Since Nov 2006 • 900 posts Report Reply

  • Garth Bray,

    The Jones family has a great spot up in Doubtless Bay.
    I once watched a pod of dolphins playing there in the dawn light while surf-casting with my father.
    If I were Stacey I'd be there instead...

    Tokerau beckons
    Yet, a habit he can't kick;
    Fish win, Broncos lose.

    Auckland, New Zealand • Since Dec 2007 • 13 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha,

    Perhaps someone will come up with a label where the word "Fresh" disappears after a day or two.

    Ahem, beer.

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19680 posts Report Reply

  • Kerry Weston,

    Ahem, beer.

    Love it. The resurgence of Lad Culture - I'm especially charmed by this:

    At least I've finally found a use for my chemical engineering background".

    can't he find a job in military research or pharma development?? What Aussies do with their brains....

    Manawatu • Since Jan 2008 • 494 posts Report Reply

  • Kyle Matthews,

    There was a young fellow named Stacey
    Who you had to support just in case he
    Chipped over the line
    And gathered in time
    To give it to someone more pacey

    Now that takes true talent. Haiku, in yo' face!

    Since Nov 2006 • 6243 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Brown,

    Stuart Coats' limerick has been deemed the winner. I've emailed him to see what he wants to do with the Warriors pass (he's in Wellington) -- anyone who knows him should feel free to give him a call, because I need to action this quickly.

    There were also runners-up: Simon Poole and Ken Davies. I'm trying to get some kind of prizey thing for you guys too.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22747 posts Report Reply

  • Stuart Coats,

    I feel like a fraud, as I only did the limerick because I'm no good at haiku. But I will accept the tickets. I have a lifelong Warriors fan friend who will gladly go to the game on my behalf.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 192 posts Report Reply

  • Simon Poole,

    Likewise, I never expected to win (and if I did, would have donated the tickets to a friend in Auckland, kudos to you Stuart) but if anything does come up as a runner up, I will graciously accept as my pregnant partner has been demanding baubles.

    Since Dec 2008 • 161 posts Report Reply

  • Steve Barnes,

    It was a fix. Russell likes league. Poof.
    ;-)

    Peria • Since Dec 2006 • 5521 posts Report Reply

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