Speaker by Various Artists

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Speaker: North versus South, Part 1

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  • Mark Graham,

    I remember getting on a bus at a conference with a bunch of Canterbury horticulturalists one day.

    They looked me up and down and asked me where I was from. Given I was wearing all black and had the haircut, they knew very well where that was, but I told them anyway.

    The ribbing started, some less good-natured than others. So I listened for a while and then I told them, "I've had the great fortune to have traveled extensively throughout New Zealand due to my work, and there is no where in this country that I haven't looked around and gone, 'My god, this place is beautiful'." That shut them up apart from some murmurs of agreement.

    I've met Aucklanders who are wankers and I've met Cantabrians who were wankers, also (quite a few, actually). I've met very rich Aucklanders who are wonderful people and as down-to-earth as any farmer from Twizel.

    I love Auckland and as much as I love going everywhere and anywhere else in the country, I love living here. I despise artifice and pretentiousness and I see it everywhere, from the boutiques of Newmarket to the cafes of Invercargill (yes I have - several times).

    Fuck - aren't we over the "all Aucklanders are wankers" and all Southerners are "True and Honest Kiwis" shtick? Please?

    And I will never, ever apologise for being from Auckland nor be an apologist for Auckland. Unless there's a wanker from Parnell in close proximity.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 215 posts Report Reply

  • 3410,

    Fuck - aren't we over the "all Aucklanders are wankers" and all Southerners are "True and Honest Kiwis" shtick? Please?

    We should be, and those that aren't need to realise that there's a big difference between TV and real life.

    Auckland • Since Jan 2007 • 2618 posts Report Reply

  • Geoff Lealand,

    Fuck - aren't we over the "all Aucklanders are wankers" and all Southerners are "True and Honest Kiwis" shtick? Please?

    We bloody ought to be because it is so infantile. As for that Speights 'Southern Man' caricature--my daughter thinks he is a closet gay. New Zealand is too small , and the popul.ation too dispersed for such regionalisms to have any weight. I say this as someone who grew up in Taranaki

    Screen & Media Studies, U… • Since Oct 2007 • 2537 posts Report Reply

  • Duncan McKenzie,

    My late father in law, southern man to the core, told me "people down here don't think much of Aucklanders". I was considered the epitome of rudeness when I responded that Aucklanders probably didn't give a toss wnat "people down here" think of them.

    A petrol pump jockey in Christchurch was perfectly willing to engage with me because he thought I was an Australian. When i admitted to being from Auckland, the conversation died.

    I was born in South Canterbury and educated in Otago - didn't come north until my early twenties - that makes me a deserter and compounds the character deficiencies that being a resident of Auckland involves.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 53 posts Report Reply

  • Stephen Judd,

    I agree with the stereotype-haters, but I ask you, can you extend your tolerance to Australians (so racist, apparently) and Americans (stupid though lovable)? 'Cause you should.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 3122 posts Report Reply

  • Kyle Matthews,

    Fuck - aren't we over the "all Aucklanders are wankers" and all Southerners are "True and Honest Kiwis" shtick? Please?

    It would be appropriate to point out that, no much of the 'world' isn't over it. Hence why it's relevant to poke fun at it at both ends.

    I wanted to add how nice it is to have a blog talking about the South Island and being in it. PA is largely a north island blog. There are a couple of contributors from 'the south', but except for David's posts from Southland, neither of their blogs tend much to be about place, whereas the north island gets placed a lot more front and central. Hayden posts about local sports and roller derby. Russell and Graham post about music and events, Auckland politics and transport get a whole heap of play. Nice to hear about things down this part of the world.

    Since Nov 2006 • 6243 posts Report Reply

  • Islander,

    Depends on the Australian.
    Depends on the American.
    Just as it depends on the individual Aucklander. Or Southerner.

    Big O, Mahitahi, Te Wahi … • Since Feb 2007 • 5643 posts Report Reply

  • giovanni tiso,

    As for that Speights 'Southern Man' caricature--my daughter thinks he is a closet gay.

    Does anybody think they're not, and I mean all of them? The guy who finds an excuse to break up with the girlfriend because she won't drink the same brand of supermarket beer as he? Come on !

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report Reply

  • James Littlewood*,

    Nah, I like the divide. Of course stereotypes are limited. I prefer to think in terms of archetypes, from whom we are all descended.

    Aucklander = wanker. Southerner = parochial halfwits. Wellingtonians = miserable, trench coated, civil servant trudging through the sleet and hail between anonymous governmental office jobs and overdrowded boarding houses in Mt Vic run by ageing alcoholic mad women.

    Ain't nut'n wrong with that, is there?

    Auckland • Since Mar 2008 • 410 posts Report Reply

  • Paul Campbell,

    This is probably the time to point out that Speights is now a Japanese beer, and all those (gay) guys are just actors working for them .....

    Dunedin • Since Nov 2006 • 2606 posts Report Reply

  • Geoff Lealand,

    Yes, but there is a bleeding statue dedicated to them (in a general sense) parked outside the Dunedin airport.

    What of the Waikato stereotype: a bunch of cow-cockies, dedicated to using up our dwindling oil stocks as quickly as possible?

    Screen & Media Studies, U… • Since Oct 2007 • 2537 posts Report Reply

  • Kyle Matthews,

    What of the Waikato stereotype: a bunch of cow-cockies, dedicated to using up our dwindling oil stocks as quickly as possible?

    Wait, I thought it was Aucklanders using up our dwindling oil stocks with their SUVs in hour long commutes? Clearly we need to tidy up our stereotypes.

    Since Nov 2006 • 6243 posts Report Reply

  • James Littlewood*,

    That statue is so cheesey.

    I always thought the "hard road son, finding the perfect woman" ads were Frisco-grade gay. Pure Brokeback.

    Auckland • Since Mar 2008 • 410 posts Report Reply

  • Paul Campbell,

    well that statue was created by Speights - it's essentially a 3d advertisement, not really art

    Dunedin • Since Nov 2006 • 2606 posts Report Reply

  • Lucy Stewart,

    Pure Brokeback.

    I'm sure Gerry Brownlee agrees with you.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2105 posts Report Reply

  • giovanni tiso,

    well that statue was created by Speights

    Without using the urine of young boys I see. Well la-di-da, how conveniently modern.

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report Reply

  • Gregor Ronald,

    I lived in Wanaka from 1975 to 1995, and I was never brave enough to call myself a local; you had to be born there.

    The area became badly spoiled in the late 90s, as residential development ate up the lakeside land, and now large parts of the town look like Hamilton or Botany Downs. The main topic of conversation whenever I visit is the price of property, which is sad.

    Still, you can't beat the scenery and the skiing. But a warning - you may not like the place so much next May and June, when "the fogs" happen. Ask a local about the early winter; and tell Hairy Harry that Gregor said Hi.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 102 posts Report Reply

  • Paul Campbell,

    so true - I hardly recognise the place these days - they have a supermarket for godsakes .... as a kid we'd go to Lake Hawea, Wanaka was even then too rich for us, the trees in the township hadn't grown up yet, not much shelter, it was windswept with dust when they'd run the lake storage down too far, there were a bunch of more traditional kiwi cribs there then rather than what's there now

    Dunedin • Since Nov 2006 • 2606 posts Report Reply

  • Matthew Poole,

    Wait, I thought it was Aucklanders using up our dwindling oil stocks with their SUVs in hour long commutes?

    The commute's down to an hour? Wow, they've done wonders with Remuera Road and College Hill, obviously.

    I have to say, speaking of stereotypes about Auckland traffic, that it amuses me no end when Hamiltonians of my acquaintance (such as my family) deride the rush-hour up here when it can take 40 minutes or more to get between the northern and southern outskirts (Te Rapa to Glenview via Avalon Drive, for the curious) of Hamilton if you catch the wrong time of traffic. At least Auckland has the excuse of a million people!

    Auckland • Since Mar 2007 • 4097 posts Report Reply

  • John Farrell,

    That statue at Dunedin airport is just begging to have a heap of steaming horseshit dumped under its tail.....

    Dunedin • Since Nov 2006 • 486 posts Report Reply

  • Paul Campbell,

    several years ago the city put this statue in Dunedin's Octagon as an advert for a rugby game .... it just called out for a small statue of a silhouette of a turd to be placed underneath it and I still regret never having done so

    (note to Russell - that google images link seems to break PAS nicely)

    Dunedin • Since Nov 2006 • 2606 posts Report Reply

  • Just thinking,

    We need so much more kinetic sculpture around the place.

    The Bra Fence wasn't bad - has it gone?

    I do like the pile of coal on the Moorhouse Ave site of the old Christchurch Gas Works.

    The towers of rocks along the coast annoys me for some reason, not sure why, maybe its the no-loo-campervans their makers seem to drive?

    Putaringamotu • Since Apr 2009 • 1158 posts Report Reply

  • Islander,

    There's still a sneaker/shoe fence round about Waihola-

    Big O, Mahitahi, Te Wahi … • Since Feb 2007 • 5643 posts Report Reply

  • Paul Campbell,

    From memory the bra fence was declared a traffic hazard .... it wasn't like people were wearing them .... much more of a hazard on the Cardrona road are the summer bunnies .... wheeee! thump .... wheee! thump

    (and I guess the hitching ski-bunnies in winter)

    Dunedin • Since Nov 2006 • 2606 posts Report Reply

  • Ben Austin,

    I remember growing up in inland North Otago where it was said that you were not really accepted as local unless you were at least second generation in the area. Apparently that has changed as a result of the various agricultural calamities of the 1980s then the dairy boom of the 1990s, but I imagine there are still a few hold-outs about

    London • Since Nov 2006 • 1019 posts Report Reply

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