Downsize Me: An updated remake of Goodbye Pork Pie. Starring Marc Ellis and Matthew Ridge in a new yellow mini cooper 'borrowed' from one of the character's hairdresser girlfriend.
With the soundtrack single "Who Ate All The Pies" sung by a choir of registered dietitians.

Holmes - Cultural Learnings Make for Benefit Glorious Nation of New Zealand: We send ridiculously "over the top" fake reporter Paul Holmes out to interview people with hilarious consequences.

IS NICE!

Jagshemash!

Borat

PS: Would this Mr Holes like to interview leading Kazakh journalist?

Shortland Street: explosions, death, mayhem, cheating adults, evil villains.

Oh, hang on, that's a normal episode on the tellie. Not much point turning it into a movie.

What Now?: But change the title to WTF Now?! and have a bunch of immature dipshits running round doing crazy things to each other while telling kids not to do this in the home (try it in the garage).

Outrageous Fortunes: but change it to Outrageous Foresk**s and it can be NZs first block buster porn movie. Though having seen bits of it recently it may have already gone there. On that note, anybody remember that TV series from the early 90s or late 80s "Chances" ? I was disappointed. Here was I, a randy teen expecting free to air porn and all I got was ... well nevermind.

Outrageous Foresk**s

You may have have heard about an impolite word that starts with F. It's not foreskin.

You may have have heard about an impolite word that starts with F. It's not foreskin.

Indeed, a lamentable (if ironic) snip there. Apologies to Greg McGee.

anybody remember that TV series from the early 90s or late 80s "Chances"

Hey Yamis, I totally remember Chances. Sadly, they took a fab concept (sex + lotto) and did okay - but not brilliantly - with it.

I'll never forgive them for using up this great concept and preventing me from pitching same to the networks here . (Oh, not that I've tried, ahem).

AND Chances is guilty of traumatising me with Aussie actor Jeremy whats-his-name. He was handcuffed to his bed, stark naked, by some disgruntled chick or other. Euwww.

All in all, I felt sorry for their neighbour, old uncle whats-his-name from The Sullivans, who was gypped out of his lotto winnings. Okay, so he didn't actually chip in for the ticket on the winning week but he usually did and... so very sad.

But, more importantly, who remembers "Return to Eden"? No traffic on Auckland roads on the nights that three-parter aired. (I'm not talking about the lame series that followed). Yum yum, crocodiles and the guy from Australian Crawl. I should know his name, I own the DVD. Doh x 2. There we go, James Reyne.