Posts by Ross Mason
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Psst: How's the whitebait? Freezer full yet?
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And a " I love Lucy" clip from yonks:
"ough" starts about 3 minutes in
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O-U-G-H
A Fresh Hack at an Old Knot
by Charles Battell Loomis
I'm taught p-l-o-u-g-h
S'all be pronouncé "plow."
"Zat's easy w'en you know," I say,
"Mon Anglais, I'll get through!"My teacher say zat in zat case,
O-u-g-h is "oo."
And zen I laugh and say to him,
"Zees Anglais make me cough."He say "Not 'coo' but in zat word,
O-u-g-h is 'off,'"
"Oh, Sacre bleu! Such varied sounds
Of words make me hiccough!"He say, "Again mon frien' ees wrong;
O-u-g-h is 'up'
In hiccough." Zen I cry, "No more,
You make my t'roat feel rough.""Non, non!" he cry, "You are not right;
O-u-g-h is 'uff.'"
I say, "I try to spik your words,
I cannot spik zem though.""In time you'll learn, but now you're wrong!
O-u-g-h is 'owe'"
"I'll try no more, I s'all go mad,
I'll drown me in ze lough!""But ere you drown yourself," said he,
"O-u-g-h is 'ock.'"
He taught no more, I held him fast
And killed him wiz a rough.A rough-coated, dough-faced, thoughtful ploughman strode through the streets of Scarborough; after falling into a slough, he coughed, houghed, and hiccoughed.
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I have just received "Albert Otter" from David. His generosity has astounded me. Two books no less and he has sacrificed a first edition since I missed out on the first round. Not just any FE but 00/50. The author's copy he says.
I have told him he has given away a family heirloom.
"Unworthy unworthy!!!" I scream.
It will be treasured. Along with my signed copy of Margaret Mahy's "Jam". A story that arrived in the household when i was house husband of 3 under 6 and it was sooooo appropriate and the kids loved it. "Always read the newspaper so as to be well informed".
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edumacational
Jeez. Wot sort of techer is we leetig lose in our skools?
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Tip of the hat to Ian Frasier
Heh. Good yo see you anglisiZed the spelling of Frasier!!
And you say it all started in la-can.
Also, penises are funny
Ahhhh...."we" can't let them go can "we".
Thoth. I thought that wath when the thoap wath usthed too mucth and it made bubbleths. Maybe it wath becauth the boyths had lotht their fwont teef.
"Hey guess WHAT I'm just using the magic willy window in my Star Wars undies to do a awesome wee! Did you SAW that?! That was AMAZING!"
The waving of the uncircumsiZed ones and the frantic steering of the flow as the small brain frantically tries to keep the floor dry and most of the elute in the bowl. It really was just practice for the PS3 you know.
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For what it's worth, I have an axolotyl.
Does it act and own a cellphone?
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Did you get the email about my limited print run chapbook As Above, So Below - Wit and Wisdom from the Hutt a deliciously thin tome, the blank pages are great for shopping lists and phone messages...
No. ......did I miss something?
An 'easy' book for me to use. It would be "Humour for Oneself" then.
;-)
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And readers will doubtless be glad to know that it's printed by Apple Pie Design, home of the lovely Ian Dalziel.
So that's why that bugger keeps hanging around here.....on the lookout for easy things to print/publish!!!!!
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I just checked, and the email *was* sent to you
I want my hammer back!