Posts by Jackie Clark
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Up Front: Say When, in reply to giovanni tiso,
Oh, I look forward to aging naturally. My mum went white when she was in her early thirties, so I've been waiting a long time to get my own grey hairs. Which are coming through in a very attractively sprinkled manner, kind of like highlighting. But free.
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Up Front: Say When, in reply to Megan Wegan,
Yes, my darling, that would be part of the "confusion to your enemies" strategy!
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Up Front: Say When, in reply to Tamsin6,
I’m not at all saying that society is not fattist, because it is. Incredibly fattist. Let me explain a bit more about where I come from, Tamsin, in this particular debate. I am fat. (I’m going to use that word because it’s a bit like the word, c**t for me. I like it. I claim it). I have a body of size. I am not sylphlike, nor am I slim, nor am I ever destined to be. I spend a great deal of time thinking about the issue of “size” in this society, how it impacts and damages women, in particular, I think about the language we use when we speak of body size or shape, and I especially think alot about how I, as a fat woman, can change that. I harangue people about fat, about self image, about self/body acceptance. And I do all this because I don’t like it when women don’t like themselves. (Unless they’re really bad people, and then all bets are off. ) I also come from a family that are what I call “fat fascists”. Health obsessed they are, and to them, fat means ill health. And I come from a big family, where I am the only person who is fat. Should society change their attitudes about fat? Absolutely, they must.( And here is where I may diverge from your own experience, and all of this is based on my own observations of not all young women of size, but certainly a great number.) But they is we. If we, who are fat, do not get to that place, deep deep down (and I am not talking about you here, at all. I am not assuming anything about you. ) where there is even a tiny weeny molecule of not liking ourselves, then I would suggest our power to change society becomes diminished. All of us have insecurities, of course we do. About all sorts of things. But to buy into society’s views of us is absolutely not okay. I’m talking about taking responsibility for ourselves. All of life is interactive, dynamic. Give and take. And this goes for self image. If we percieve others to be judging us, often, not always, it transpires that we are judging ourselves. This is all alot of words just to say one thing, essentially. Society needs to be kinder to young women, but it is young women themselves that have to take charge of that. We all affect change. We do. Is it our fault if others’ judge us summarily? No, of course not. Is it up to us, if we don’t agree with that summary judgement or it makes us feel like shit or if we can be bothered, to change that? Absobloodylutely. My father had a saying – Here’s to confusion to our enemies. To me, that means one thing. Give it to the bastards.
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Up Front: Say When, in reply to Tamsin6,
Oh honey, it ain’t a size thing with me. I always think that self image is a huge problem with a lot of people of all sizes and shapes – the way we think about ourselves, and consequently carry ourselves, impacts so greatly on how everyone else views us. I’ve never had that problem, and I want to slap young women (mostly lovely, curvaceous young things) who hang their heads, either literally or metaphorically, and generally act as if they don’t deserve to be seen in the world. Having a bit of extra fat hanging around your person doesn’t 1) make you a bad person 2) decrease your attractiveness to other people. Your demeanour determines your attractiveness. Christ, if I could just bang young womens’ heads together and make them understand that the way you look has fuck all to do with anything, and the people who are going to love and know you,the best, see you in a way that you would never come near to imagining. So stop worrying about how others see you, because you will never know, and you never need to know. The reflection of yourself you see in others’ eyes is really just their reflection of themselves. < End of that particular rant .>
I complain about being ignored but I have found that the older I get, the less I care to make the effort if I can’t see the payoff – that payoff, of course, being to make acquaintance with people that interest me, and who I want to spend time with. Because that’s the other thing, I think. Many women of my age and older really aren’t about caring about being attractive sexually, necessarily, or at least not in isolation. We just want to be acknowledged as powerful beings who offer value and experience. I know I certainly do. -
Up Front: Say When, in reply to Hilary Stace,
Actually, you're right. I bet that's what it is!
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And all of this without talking about how as you age, the less visible you are. It's stunning how ignored women are after a certain age. I'm not sure what that age is, but I passed it a while ago. You can be right in front of someone, and they just won't see you. The number of times I have stood in shops, waiting to be served, or be queuing in a very polite way so as to give space to the person in front of me, and people just cut right in there. Older women very rarely do it to each other, and I find it's usually younger men. (Although women in their 60's can be incredibly rude.) And again, when out socially, younger people just have no idea you are there. Or barely acknowledge you. How do other women over 40 find this?
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Field Theory: An important message for…, in reply to Ross Mason,
Crumbs, mate. It's crumbs.
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Field Theory: An important message for…, in reply to Ngaire BookieMonster,
Again. What year are we in?
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Up Front: Say When, in reply to Deborah,
I like that. Very much. I must admit that if I look in my wardrobe, there is a vast amount of black, and everything is totally functional. Which is as it should be, because, quite frankly, if I wore anything other than functional, my zest and panache would freak everyone else out.
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I don't give a toss about sports. All of them bore me senseless. I do however get incensed that our national womens' sports teams - who, by and large, are hugely successful and they aren't professional - get so little coverage. Regarding this, and many other things, I have to shake my head in wonder. What year are we in, again?